Websense Is Nonsense (And It Thinks This Column Is “Tasteless”)
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008I strolled into work on Monday morning, settled into my swivel chair, turned on my computer and started reading through my morning email. (Cracked pays me VERY generously for my time, but they refuse to comp me for my private jet which, as you can probably imagine, is getting a bit pricey to fuel up these days. As such I’ve been forced to work a day job lately to make ends meet. It’s humiliating, but that’s the price you pay to travel in style.) Things were pretty dead around the office, so I poured myself another cup of coffee, pointed my web browser to Cracked.com and got totally psyched to read the first feature article of the week, The 10 Most Delicious-Looking Sandwiches From 80s Movies. Needless to say I was caught completely off guard when this came up on my screen:
Egad, man! I’d been Websensed!
In its own words, Websense is an “industry-leading web filtering solution” that “improves productivity, reduces legal liability, and optimizes the use of IT resources” with “pass-through filtering technology,” “dynamic protocol management” and “industry-leading reporting tools.” I’m sure that means something to upper management types with yachts and PowerPoint presentations and fancy shirts that actually have buttons on them, but what does it all mean to ME, the average employee who just wants to play some Flash games, read some fart jokes and watch some IcySpicyLeoncie videos on the clock?
Let me sum it all up for you in a nutshell: It means “Websense sucks.”
