Home > Blog > » Little People

Little People on The Cracked Blog

A New Meme Is Born: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Monday, February 18th, 2008

Machine y la Pequena Adriana Barrientos

I’ve been looking at the internet for a long time now, and I’ve seen plenty of weird trends come and go. There was the whole Dancing Baby thing, then there was Hampster Dance and All Your Base and Goatse and a whole bunch of other crap I can barely remember.

It’s been a long internet.

Now that everyone is losing interest in Lolcats, I guess the new thing is videos of cross-dressing dwarf Latinas dancing. I’m not going to say this is the weirdest video I’ve ever seen (that honor probably still goes to a certain Japanese guy in a horse mask), but we’ve certainly come a long way from Hampster Dance, haven’t we?

The only thing that worries me about this trend is that it’s only a matter of time before cross-dressing dwarves and naked Japanese men in horse masks are simply a matter of course. Where do we go from there? Can things really get that much weirder, or will the pendulum swing back the other way, and we’ll go back to enjoying such simple pleasures as poorly-animated dancing babies and pictures of men ripping their own sphincters open?

Oh - and was the guy in the bondage mask ALREADY friends with the cross-dressing dwarf, or did he have to put an ad up on Craigslist to make this video? So many questions, so few answers.

Posted in Internet, Little People, Nooners, Terrifying, Video | 16 Comments »

An Absolutely Horrific Way To Start Your Week: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Monday, February 11th, 2008

La Pequeña Prohibida

I’ve been pretty firmly against the whole “dwarves are inherently funny” thing since 1999. That was the year that Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me was released, and in it, a little-known little person named Verne Troyer oh-so-preciously touched a pinky to the corner of his mouth as Mini-Me for the first time. The Austin Powers franchise makes me want to rub broken glass into my eyes, and as such, I haven’t been able to laugh at a dwarf or midget ever since. The fact that the series has ruined dwarf/midget jokes for me is yet another reason to hate it, and this makes me want to rub broken glass into my eyes all over again with renewed enthusiasm.

It’s a vicious cycle.

That being said, I give you “La Pequeña Prohibida” (translation: The Tiny Thing That Haunts Your Nightmares). You know who this video makes me feel bad for? Dwarves who work in the insurance industry. Dwarves who work as mail clerks and Certified Public Accountants. Dwarves who earn a living by doing things that don’t somehow involve them being, you know, dwarves. It’s bad enough that when most people think of little people they think of either Mini-Me, Santa’s elves or dwarf tossing, but now, to make matters even worse, we’ve got tiny, sexy crossdressers filling up YouTube with videos of themselves dancing around in pink sequined party dresses. As oddly compelling as this video is, I’m pretty sure it’s setting back the plight of the hard-working dwarf by at least a few decades.

On the other hand, I’m pretty sure it’s doing wonders for the plight of the drunk, South American transvestite party dwarf. Lord knows they’ve been through a lot. Let’s call it a mixed blessing.

Posted in Little People, Nooners, Terrifying, Video | 19 Comments »