The Future of Rhythm Games and The Final (Television Entertainment) Solution: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Thursday, January 10th, 2008Awesome Video Of The Day
Fuck Guitar Hero
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when you and your friends had to learn how to play instruments and start a band if you wanted to rock out. These days we’ve got these so-called “rhythm games” instead, but there are some problems with them that people are starting to get fed up with. For example, don’t you kind of hate it how Guitar Hero and Rock Band pay REALLY close attention to what keys you’re pressing and when you’re pressing them? Aren’t you sick of how they give you incredibly precise & accurate scores based on your performance? Don’t you kind of wish you could have the playing-a-fake-guitar experience without actually having to learn how to play a fake guitar? I’ve heard the collective sigh of bored gamers, and, believe me, it’s not a pretty sound.
Can you describe a sound as “sweaty”? It sounds sweaty and asthmatic.
Thank God CES is this week, where Jada Toys has unveiled their new Air Guitar Rocker™. Created by a guy named “Nitrous Roxide,” the Air Guitar Rocker™ consists of a hip-mounted speaker and some sort of magnetized pick that lets you rock out to ten (count them - TEN) different riffs, eliminating the need for a guitar, a video game console, or any sort of regular social contact with other human beings. Because c’mon - who wants to play mind-bogglingly fun multiplayer video games when you can sit in your bedroom all alone with a little amp strapped to your hip, strumming “You Really Got Me” over and over again, weeping softly and cursing your cheap bastard parents for not buying you an Xbox 360.
Wildcard!
Let’s Start A Farm!
So Yasgur’s Farm, site of the original Woodstock Festival, is currently for sale for the low, low price of $8,000,000. That’s a pretty big chunk of change, but if we can get enough people together to chip in, I think I have an idea that could make us all rich.
Hat’s Off: Garth Brooks (whose 1997 Central Park concert was mistaken by me for a terrifying redneck invasion of New York City) has 
Marsters of the Homoverse: Actor James Marsters, formerly of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 
Put That in Your Toad and Smoke It: Desperate for new ways to fight the tedium of living in a relatively free, safe, prosperous, non war-torn country, American young people have begun experimenting with 
