Cracked Columnists

Strike While the Irony Is Hot

syvpsmy2.gifI think I remember being told by someone recently that we live in "The Age of Irony"---possibly it was the ambulance driver who ran me over, or the doctor at Planned Parenthood who knocked up my girlfriend---and if the news media is any indication, it's true:

'Saw' Star's Son Has Ironic Halloween Costume

'Saw IV' villain Tobin Bell's creepy movie puppet sidekick Billy is such a hit in his household, the actor's young son will hit the streets at Halloween dressed like him.

Now, the son of the star of Saw dressing up as a character from Saw is about as ironic as the son of a fireman dressing up as a fireman, or the son of Dick Cheney dressing up as an asshole, or the son of Tom Cruise dressing up as a batshit-crazy gay dude. Which is to say, not ironic at all.

Now, with a little knowledge of what the word "ironic" means, it's not that difficult to come up with plenty of costumes that fit the definition more accurately. For example:

  • Marion Jones' son dressing up as a urine sample
  • Sen. Larry Craig's son dressing up as a men's room
  • A nappy-headed ho dressing up as Don Imus
  • Woody Allen's daughter dressing up as his wife, and vice-versa
  • Britney Spears' kids dressing up as underwear
  • That Halo 3 guy's son dressing up as Mario
  • Nouri al-Maliki's son dressing up as Muqtada al-Sadr (Mom will never let him hear the end of that one!)
  • Michael Vick's son dressing up as a pit bull and then biting Michael Vick's balls off
  • George W. Bush dressing up as a pilot and announcing "Mission Accomplished," despite the mission clearly not being accomplished (oh, you master of irony, you!), and
  • A guy who writes for Cracked dressing up as Sylvester P. Smythe, and then getting his ass kicked by a guy dressed as Alfred E. Neuman

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