Stone Temple Pilots vs. New Kids on the Block
Surely by now you've heard: both Stone Temple Pilots and New Kids on the Block are gettin' the band back together and going on tour!!! You haven't heard? Well, where've ya been? Oh. Listening to music that's relevant? Gotcha.
Anyway, just in case you were considering how to waste your money best, I've put together this comparison chart to help weigh the decision.
 | Stone
| New Kids on the Block
|
From 1 to 10, How exciting is the reunion news? | 2.8 | - 2.8 |
Likelihood a band member will OD before tour completed | 15%. (There is, however, an 85% chance Weilland will OD before the tour starts) | Only 5% unless its possible to overdose on Zima. |
What would make the show more exciting to watch | If it were the Foo Fighters | nSync coming out for a to the death tickle fight |
The first time I heard the band I t | Man, I hope Pearl Jam kicks their ass. | Why are my ears bleeding? |
Gained more respect for the band after | UnPlugged and Big Empty | They set themselves on fire during their reunion tour to protest the war in |
Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, his full name, and state of residence. And would someone click on the red Gladstone in the byline above and become my Cracked buddy? I'm a big loser and my 3 "friends" just aren't easing the pain.
Try this guys: Find a genre of music that is clearly better than every other genre of music (Metal/Power Metal/Film Scores). Now, you are aware that this music is scientifically "better," because of these reasons: More instruments, more talent, longer songs, longer and more guitar solos (or if we're talking about popular music, then just HAVING a guitar solo is an accomplishment) and more technical in general. Technical = Replay value.
ReplyNow, listen to that for a while. Now listen to the music you used to like.
If you weren't always a mindless drone, then you'll find that you still like your old music, but you'll realize that it's just too SIMPLE to be of any real use. After two or three listens it becomes virtually insipid.
Now, you'll find that you cannot be a pretentious douchebag about music, anymore, because people HATE power metal despite the technical prowess, excellent melodies, many different genre fusions (folk, death, rock; not that I'm into death growls, but if you do, then it's there).
So you'll think, "How can they dislike something that is so obviously superior?"
It's because everyone has different tastes and nothing makes sense.
Some people dedicate their lives to hating certain music.
I have never listened to either of the bands in this article, but I can GUARANTEE that neither of these bands are as technically OR melodically proficient as Twilightning's first two albums.
f**k you gladstone. write a chart about how much cooler stp are than your pretencious ass.
ReplyPink Floyd destroying themselves? Lord, the brain damage has set in!
ReplyGo there guys buy prescription medications that are used to relax your body, relax your muscles.
ReplyDid you post a few of these things on another blog? That one post looked very familiar. Maybe I saw something about it on the news?
ReplyNice Info, I will visit again. Thanks For sharing the information
ReplyAll you PATHETIC HATERS, How sad is it that after 15 years you STILL have SHIT to say about the ABSOLUTE BEST band in the UNIVERSE? How very sad I feel for you. Did you really think that they were going to never return? How STUPID can you be? New kids have the the MOST support when it comes to fans.....EVER! How do you think they could come back with a reunion tour?? Duh you idiots,because they have the fan base to make that happen. They may have left for a while (to start families)but make no mistake they will dominate the music charts by storm and all you LOSERS can't do SHIT about it!!! So,sit back,shut-up and watch the NKOTB take the WORLD BY STORM ALL OVER AGAIN. SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyRuben...
ReplyI was impressed by your site and offerings. I was looking at some of the articles and it really impressed me. All I can say is congratulations on creating this site and what took you so long? I look forward to returning....
Marin...
ReplyMany blogs have stopped using trackbacks because dealing with spam became too burdensome. Six Apart started a working group in February...
Their diversity is impressive. A great band, however, sets musical trends rather than apes them. Still a solid band that would probably have continued making good music, but for Weilland's love of the drugs.
ReplyFuck you Gladstone!! STP rocks and are classic. Take your New Kids On The Block loving ass and piss off!
ReplyNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (what have i done?)
ReplyI've been put in my place, Gladstone. Just see if I become your Cracked 'friend' now!
ReplyRainbowBright, I agree! (sort of) Heroes or maybe Scary Monsters. But Bowie 95-03 is damn good.
ReplyI do have to say this for Bowie - the acoustic portuguese versions of his songs performed by Seu Jorge for the Life Aquatic soundtrack are fucking incredible.
ReplyAnd don't feel bad about your lack of comments, Gladstone. Of course Swaim is going to get all the comments, he's blatantly racist and continually posts pictures of naked women. I mean that's just playing to the internets. I mean to rival that you'd have to say that kurt cobain sucks or something.
I thought Bowie hit his zenith with Heroes.
ReplyAs for STP and NKOTB, Purple was a killer album and No.4 had some killer jams on it. Core was a solid by the numbers grunge record and I didn't like Shangrila or Tiny Music
NKOTB were like a more wussy Nelson....if such a thing could exist
oh, yeah Kingmonkey, I have BOTH Tin Machine albums and the live album Oy Vey Baby. Top That!!!
ReplyHey Gladstone, I have that Tin Machine album, too. I loved it. Now we just need to find the other 5 guys and we can have, I dunnon, A Tin Machine party or something.
ReplyI know I'm not allowed to bash him because he's Neil fuckin' Diamond, but god damn he talks a lot. With all due respect, Mr. Diamond, cut your posts in half. You too Gladstone. I don't have time to read all that.
ReplyI sort of realised, since when he resurfaced in the late 90s he had completely disregarded ANYTHING he did in the late 80s.
ReplyKate Bush is still alive!? I have to go dig out my frilly, white shirt with the open chest.