So it seems REM frontman Michael Stipe found a way to get out of jury duty. He was supposed to be on a jury hearing a stalking/attempted rape case, but claimed he could not be impartial because he had been the victim of stalking himself.
When the Judge asked Stipe who exactly would want to stalk the sexually-ambiguous, acne-scarred, mumbling frontman, Stipe reportedly said, “Lots of people. . . you don’t know them. . . they live in Canada. Shut up!”
Stipe’s lucky he came up with the stalking excuse because as proven by the following 100% authentic footage, Stipe’s earlier ploy —celebrating courtroom adjournments by doing spontaneous, spastic elbow dances, while rejoicing in a strange voice (that sounds nothing like a man from Athens,Georgia)— almost got him killed:
Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 16th, 2008 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Michael Stipe, Videos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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October 9th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
What happened to the excellent Nancy Grace hating video “Nancy Grace’s Terrifying Attempt To Replicate Human”? I was featuring it on my website, but now the only thing that pos up is the stupid “D’oh” page from cracked.com! Come on…fix it! Okay, PLEASE fix it.
October 9th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
What happened to the excellent Nancy Grace hating video entitled “Nancy Grace’s Terrifying Attempt To Replicate Human”? I was featuring it on my website and the only thing that pops up now is the stupid “D’oh” page from cracked.com! Come on…fix it!
September 4th, 2009 at 6:00 am
r u serious?
July 21st, 2009 at 5:26 am
I went to see the Hangover recently and was suprised how funny a movie it was, seemed like a swingers for 2009.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:25 am
So far this year my favourite movie is definitely Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen. I don’t care what the critics say big robots and lots of explosions, what more can you possibly want
May 21st, 2009 at 8:11 am
I agree with your post. Which is not something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will make one think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!
March 14th, 2009 at 4:26 am
I have to say, I could not agree with you in 100%, but that’s just my IMHO, which could be wrong.
p.s. You have an awesome template . Where have you got it from?
March 9th, 2008 at 6:51 am
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
January 17th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
*
January 17th, 2008 at 7:28 am
God, I grin like a loon when someone makes a Slaughterhouse 5 reference.
So it goes.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Don’t worry about the South defending Athens. We quit claiming the city in the early nineties. I think that it is technically Tralfamadorian at this point.
January 16th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
It’s the “c” in “court”. I’m guessing that you spent years of research frequenting raves and gay bars harassing asking gay men about their favorite part of the male anatomy, cross-referenced the data, and came up with the gayest way possible to say a hard “c”.
Props.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Oh and just so you can sleep tonight, the accent was fine. Micheal Stipe doesn’t sound like he’s from Athens. As a matter of fact I think you captured Micheal’s voice quite well.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Vimmy, you made my day. The reason I decided to keep the vid was because of the way “no more court” came out at the very end. I couldn’t do that again if I tried.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
For some reason I couldnt stop from laughing. Just something about the way he said “no more court”. And besides hating Michael Stipe (I’m a big REM fan), I couldn’t agree with glendoor more. Except I haven’t gotten a chance to accuse Swaim of incestuous necropedabestiality.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I heard that the Church of Scientology tried to get my video off of YouTube too. Not because it was offensive to Scientologists, but because it is quite simply the stupidest thing i’ve ever done.
Fortunately, for all of us, Stipe just doesn’t have Cruise’s juice.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
That was funny. But I am alarmed. Somehow the Cracked Bloggers have managed to read my mind today and blog about things foremost in my frontal lobes. Like how I hate Micheal Stipe, Tom Cruise, Scientology and Garfield. Also things dear to my heart, like Milf sites.