Stand In The Place Where You Were Supposed To Sit (For Jury Duty... And Then Leave)
So it seems REM frontman Michael Stipe found a way to get out of jury duty. He was supposed to be on a jury hearing a stalking/attempted rape case, but claimed he could not be impartial because he had been the victim of stalking himself.
When the Judge asked Stipe who exactly would want to stalk the sexually-ambiguous, acne-scarred, mumbling frontman, Stipe reportedly said, "Lots of people. . . you don't know them. . . they live in Canada. Shut up!"
Stipe's lucky he came up with the stalking excuse because as proven by the following 100% authentic footage, Stipe's earlier ploy ---celebrating courtroom adjournments by doing spontaneous, spastic elbow dances, while rejoicing in a strange voice (that sounds nothing like a man from Athens,Georgia)--- almost got him killed:
Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
I love to read articles that are informative, Thanks again for a nice site
Replyr u serious?
ReplyI went to see the Hangover recently and was suprised how funny a movie it was, seemed like a swingers for 2009.
ReplySo far this year my favourite movie is definitely Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen. I don't care what the critics say big robots and lots of explosions, what more can you possibly want
ReplyI agree with your post. Which is not something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will make one think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!
ReplyI have to say, I could not agree with you in 100%, but that's just my IMHO, which could be wrong.
Replyp.s. You have an awesome template . Where have you got it from?
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
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ReplyGod, I grin like a loon when someone makes a Slaughterhouse 5 reference.
ReplySo it goes.
Don't worry about the South defending Athens. We quit claiming the city in the early nineties. I think that it is technically Tralfamadorian at this point.
ReplyIt's the "c" in "court". I'm guessing that you spent years of research frequenting raves and gay bars harassing asking gay men about their favorite part of the male anatomy, cross-referenced the data, and came up with the gayest way possible to say a hard "c".
ReplyProps.
Oh and just so you can sleep tonight, the accent was fine. Micheal Stipe doesn't sound like he's from Athens. As a matter of fact I think you captured Micheal's voice quite well.
ReplyVimmy, you made my day. The reason I decided to keep the vid was because of the way "no more court" came out at the very end. I couldn't do that again if I tried.
ReplyFor some reason I couldnt stop from laughing. Just something about the way he said "no more court". And besides hating Michael Stipe (I'm a big REM fan), I couldn't agree with glendoor more. Except I haven't gotten a chance to accuse Swaim of incestuous necropedabestiality.
ReplyI heard that the Church of Scientology tried to get my video off of YouTube too. Not because it was offensive to Scientologists, but because it is quite simply the stupidest thing i've ever done.
ReplyFortunately, for all of us, Stipe just doesn't have Cruise's juice.
That was funny. But I am alarmed. Somehow the Cracked Bloggers have managed to read my mind today and blog about things foremost in my frontal lobes. Like how I hate Micheal Stipe, Tom Cruise, Scientology and Garfield. Also things dear to my heart, like Milf sites.
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