Smashing Pumpkins Sues Instead Of Holding Its Breath Until It Turns Blue
Smashing Pumpkins is suing Virgin records for using some Pumpkins music in a Pepsi commercial. Normally, I would applaud such artistic integrity, but this news ---like most things Billy Corgan related--- just pisses me off. According to the lawsuit, Virgin violated the terms of its contract by using the Smashing Pumpkins name and music in promotional deals that hurt the band's credibility with fans.
Really? Which fans? Im sorry. I lost track of the Pumpkins demographic some time after 97. Who are we talking about? Thirty five year old Japanese Anime enthusiasts who work at Blockbuster? Soccer moms who have destroyed all the old photos of themselves featuring crotchless black and white striped stockings? Vampires who still get beat up for lunch money?
Yeah, I dont think Virgin is the biggest culprit when it comes to the bands loss of public affection. As a former Smashing Pumpkins fan, Im pretty sure I know where the problem is. Lets recount:
1991: Smashing Pumpkins releases Gish, an amazing, guitar-driven collage of sound and emotion. Young Gladstone is duly impressed.
1993: Smashing Pumpkins releases Siamese Dream to rave reviews and commercial success. Young Gladstone incorporates Disarm into his acoustic coffee shop set and succeeds in getting the phone number of a super-cute waitress.
1995:Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. A goofy title for a double album that contains a number of throwaway tracks and a single (Tonight, Tonight) that sounds suspiciously similar to Disarm. Corgan, in full-douche mode, refers to the album as The Wall for Generation X. Gladstone refrains from purchasing. Incorporates none of the songs into his acoustic set. Gets the phone numbers of no waitresses.
1998: Adore. Smashing Pumpkins take a bold step into a hackneyed form of Eno-influenced electronica, and it's somehow lamer than it sounds. Corgan shaves his head. Wears black leather or spandex or whatever you call that S&M gear worn by people who enjoy being urinated on. Gladstones girlfriend buys the CD and is mocked mercilessly by Gladstone.
2000: Deux ex Machina. Bassist Darcy is kicked out of the band and is replaced by Melissa Auf de Maur. Gladstone grows more suspicious of Corgan. For a guy whos all about musical integrity, how come he only hires bassists Gladstone wants to have sex with? As far as the album goes? Not sure. I saw the poster for it in a record store window. Shortly thereafter, Smashing Pumpkins breaks up. Glastones girlfriend leaves. Gladstone calls waitress from years earlier. Repeated messages go unreturned. Gladstone tries to imagine Darcy and Melissa Auf de Maur having sex with each other. Succeeds.
My point is simple. Pumpkins kind of went to pieces, and Billy Corgan breaks my heart. Hes a talented guy who was very good at making some interesting and attractive sounds. He was also talented enough to want to do something more. Something different and iconic, but he never succeeded in purveying that new sound successfully. Unlike the similarly situated Kurt Cobain, however, Billy chose not to kill himself. Instead, he moped about with his bald head and shiny clothes whining and whining and whining. Occasionally, he appeared for photos like this:
Thats what killed Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan. A talented, geeky, suburban kid who dreamed of greatness. Who achieved it. But who fell when he tried to become more than a talented musician. When he tried to be an icon. He wanted 14 year old girls to swoon. He wanted black and white graffiti of his visage on the Berlin Wall. He wanted the kind of rock star celebrity that is very rare and often created only by untimely death. Kurt Cobain is an icon. Jim Morrison is an icon. Jimi Hendrix is an icon. Billy Corgan is not. (Even though I think hes more talented than two of those three guys. Can you guess which?)
Billy, if youre reading this, which you arent, but hey, this is a literary device, let me make a request: just be content with what youve done. A lot of it's great. I wish that made you happy. I wish youd grow out your balding hair, sit down with your guitar, and record some tunes with no agenda.
And don't be sad. Im pretty sure I know the number of at least one waitress who would still totally sleep with you.
Check out some more Gladstone over HERE and find the still undetected blog reference HERE.
It's Machina: The Machines of God, not Deus Ex Machina. If you're gonna s**t all over the dude's music at least get the factual info right.
ReplyGish was ehhhh, Siamese Dream was great, Mellon Collie alternated between being amazing and dreadful, Adore was fascinating and had the best lyrics of all their albums, and I haven't listened to any of the albums after that.
ReplyHey, uh, how do you feel about Zeitgeist... and the fact that the Pumpkins reuinted, since, um, both of these things happened before you wrote the article, yet you leave off with the band broken up and Deus as their last album.
ReplyI can at least excuse that you didn't know about Teargarden back then, but it still destroys your point, since Billy Corgan is the only original member keeping the dream going, and since the Smashing Pumpkins are one of the two best bands still making music, the other being Radiohead.
Wow. That statement is so ignorant, that it knows nothing.
Great article. I actually just got into the Smashing Pumpkins when my cousin gave me the Mellon Collie set, which I'm kind of ashamed now to say I actually liked. A lot. But I do agree that Corgan did kill the band in a way. A lot of stars do that. They just want greatness and success so bad that they stop making and enjoying the music that would get them there (I think Lady Gaga is going to definitely have this problem). Billy Corgan's a weird guy. I love him one minute and hate his guts the next.
ReplyNo one gives a shit about your opinions.
ReplyButthurt much?
Wow....are Morrison's lyrics really THAT much better than Corgan's? Disarm is one of my favorite SP songs, but lyrically, it is hardly their best. In my opinion, Adore generally has better lyrics than Siamese Dream, for example its opening track, To Sheila:
ReplyTwilight fades
through blistered avalon
the sky's cruel torch
on aching autobahn
into the uncertain divine
we scream into the last divine
you make me real
you make me real
strong as i feel
you make me real
sheila rides on crashing nightingale
intake eyes leave passing vapor trails
with blushing brilliance alive
because it's time to arrive
you make me real
you make me real
strong as i feel
you make me real
lately I just can't seem to believe
discard my friends to change the scenery
it meant the wrold to hold a bruising faith
but now it's just a matter of grace
a summer storm graces all of me
highway warm sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
and take you home into the night
(You make me real) Lately, I just can't seem to believe
(You make me real) Discard my friends that change the scenery
(Strong as I feel) It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
(You make me real) But now it's just a matter of grace
I like Corgan better, but as a lyricist, you could do a lot worse than Morrison.
Gladstone: I pose to you a couple of questions.
ReplyFirst...how is a whining, angsty, voice of our generation's sorrows a microcosm of either genius or talent? Don't get me wrong, I like the Pumpkins, in fact, I stopped listening to them around the same time you did in that horrifying period where Michael Stipes stopped being a bald pot smoking anarchist and became politically inclined and Billy Corgan (unsuccessfully) became Michael Stipes.
Genius is not that which describes the mob, but that which is entirely its own.
And second.....please explain to me what you have against Jim Morrison. I've progressed from irritated to curious. Granted, and I warn you, informing me will only lead to me pointing out to you, complete with factual/textual evidence and gratutious sarcasm, why you are wrong/misinformed. Which amount to the same damned thing.
And to sum this up, let's compare lyrics, first from "Disarm" because you mentioned it, and second from "Wild Child", because it's one of the Doors' more popular songs that wasn't written or otherwise fucked by Robbie Krieger (eg: "Light My Fire", "Touch Me", "Tell all the People") and it mentions children, so it's sort of a tie in.
"Disarm":
"I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you"
"Wild Child":
"(An ancient lunatic reigns
in the trees of the night)
With hunger at her heels
And freedom in her eyes
She dances on her knees
Pirate prince at her side
Staring into the hollow idol's eye"
I mean really, the depth of Morrison's poems swallows that of Corgans so completely that in trying to find the scant meaning in Corgan's words so overshadowed by Morrison's you will search the depths of the abysmal universe and stumble across the blind idiot god Azazoth who enacts his chaos on the mortal plane. Once meeting him you will have the time to go insane, summon an Elder god, rummage in the ruins of an ancient city belonging to god knows what, find the goddamned beef, get laid, and read "Ulysses" cover to cover before you ever come remotely close to finding the thin facsimile of talent Corgan's writing has in comparison to Jim.
And yes, I don't have anything better to do at the moment. I may just try to validate that statement.
Gish and Siamese Dream are definately thier best albums. It sucks that loads of talented musicians turn out to be douches.
ReplyDisarm was a failed cover of "Sometimes" by My Bloody Valentine (hit up youtube, it was in Lost in Translation). Billy is very bad at figuring out how to play other people's songs. Landslide is way off, as is Sandoz.
ReplyThe Jimmy Chamberlin complex sounds more like Smashing Pumpkins than Adore did. He really is the star. Billy comes up with great riffs and melodies, and knows what producers to call up, and isn't a bad poet, just bad subject matter after he had a bankroll.
There are things i like about him. He's brighter than the average musician. And he's talented. And i think he's well-versed in music and has respect for the right things. He's just kind of insufferable I think though.
ReplyAnd am I the only one who thinks Gish is the best Pumpkins album?
While your caption for the future embrace is like totally ROTFLMAOLOL, let's not lose sight of the fact that siamese dream and melloncollie were 2 of the best albums of the 90s. Corgan is amazingly prolific and I think pretty much everything he touches is gold. Jimmy Chamberlin is the only drummer I even care about. The band is just great.
ReplyAnd am I really the only one who likes him as a person? During Reading last year he said "Didn't think I'd be back, but sometimes you just need the cash". Yes of course I only laughed cos I love the music, but screw you alright?
What an interesting comparison!
ReplyRoger Waters is one of my heroes. I used to be sure he was a huge prick in person. Now I'm not so sure. The older I get, the more I think Gilmour is probably a douche in his own way.
I like stuff on Mellon Collie, I just get mad when people take a great album and turn it into a mediocre double album.
Wow! How can you hate an album that you didn't even hear? And he shaved his head because he started going bald and didn't want that guly comb-over (which your hairstyle kinds looks like). Yeah his freaky black pleather jacket was a bit too much, but his solo album is pretty happy and when he did that brief stent with Zwan the music was so happy that a lot of his fans hated him for it. And have you even listened to Zeitgeist? And did you know that Darcy quit the band on her own to start a family and that they are all friends still? Smashing Pumpkins is one of my favorite bands, as you can probably guess. Yeah he's annoying sometimes, but that is part of his charm. And as far as compairing him to Kurt, Kurt took the cowards way out - also he was a major drug addict and Billy isn't, he actually kicked the drummer out for a while and told him to come back when he got clean, which he did just so he could play with Billy again. You only wish you could play even a fraction as good as Billy so that girls won't notice how small your dick is!
ReplyPhew, I'm glad that awkwardness is over.
ReplyDear Billy Corgan,
I am sorry that you have a discoloured hand. Please do not let it get you down. Many freakish mutants still enjoy productive and fulfilling lives doing many important things. Perhaps, if you work hard enough, you too can enjoy some level of success in a field that is not hindered by your hideous, hideous deformity.
Love,
kingmonkey, and kingmonkey's typist/hairstylist
No, it's cool. Life's too short to insult someone who makes you laugh your ass off.
ReplyI'm really glad I told you blow me respectfully!
ReplyThanks Crippy Boy. And btw, it's totally ok to call me a douche if circumstances dictate. Now would be a good time I think.
Uhh...I was inferring that maybe you didn't have it in you to be a self-obsessed douche at his level. Yes, many people do write blogs, but not many write to chronicle their rise to fame and eventual decline to douchebaggery like he did. I phrased everything in that comment as a question just to avoid that sort of response. I think you're a really funny guy and I meant no disrespect. I meant plenty of disrespect towards him, none towards you. Anyway, keep up the good work.
ReplyAre you sure of that, Gladstone? Do you think you'd have it in you to write a "memoir" about your extremely important life on the Internet?
ReplyI was really close to dropping a pisces iscariot reference in the post. Indeed, i could have gone on for another page about the douche chills Corgan gives me.
ReplySpoiler Alert: Everything I dislike about myself I see in him. It is my worst fear that if I were a rockstar i'd be EXACTLY like him.
Hey, can we talk about Zwan for a second or what? Am I the only one who thinks we should talk about Zwan? Zwan, you guys, I mean it.
Reply