Slides, Crying and A Baldness Cure in Flat Black: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The DaySlide Owns Kid... Twice
I'll admit it: yesterday was a little rough. Racism, stereotypes, puppets... it wasn't for everyone, and several commenters made it abundantly clear that they didn't think Chuck Knipp's portrayal of southern black women was very funny. Today, I'd like to make up for it with a video of something I'm pretty sure we can all get behind: parents laughing at their injured, sobbing children.
I'm not a parent, but I'm pretty sure that openly laughing at your child after they do something stupid is a good rule of thumb. It sends a very clear message: "You have room for improvement." Sure, you could rush to his side and tell him that he did a great job of climbing that slide, but you'd both know that wasn't true. That would be a lie, and while it might temporarily boost his self-esteem, recent studies have shown that it would probably actually harm him in the long run.
Moral of the story? Laugh at your children when they hurt themselves and they will be very successful. Like they'll grow up and become lawyers and politicians. That IS what you want, ISN'T IT?
The Worst Of "As Seen On TV"The Product:Jerome Russell Spray On Hair Color ThickenerThe Ad Copy: "Don't be self-conscious about your thinning hair anymore! Spray On Hair Thickener will effectively cover up light to medium bald spots. Thinning areas will appear fuller and thicker!"
Price: $9.95 plus $6.95 shipping & handling
Target Demographic: People so self-conscious about their male pattern baldness that they prefer to walk around with their heads covered in spray paint
Why It Sucks: Is there really anyone out there who actually uses this product? Are there guys who consider spray painting their scalps just another part of their personal hygiene regimen, like flossing or using deodorant? Do they use it every day, or is it only for special occasions? If I were balding and I bought a bottle of this stuff, I'd try to only put it on when I went out to the club or whatever. You know - to give me that extra edge. I'd be all, "Hey - I have real human hair growing out of my scalp." Then they'd ask if they could touch it, but by then I'd already be having sex with them. That's how clubs work when you're the kind of guy who spray paints your own bald spot.
Stupid Factor (1 to 10): 10
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ReplyAlena...
ReplyMany blogs have stopped using trackbacks because dealing with spam became too burdensome. Six Apart started a working group in February...
Not to mention her husband crashed his BMW or Porsche 911 because of handling issues, only stopping to rearrange his red braces.
ReplyOh, and something about Boy George.
Hey, it was the eighties alright? And according to I Love the 80's, the parent was clearly too busy amusing herself with a rubik's cube, a Huey Lewis record, or crack cocaine to tend to the child properly.
ReplyCut 'er some slack.
I would like to state for the record that I just deleted a comment for the first time.
ReplyYeah. Playgrounds have been pussified. No more monkeybars over cement or "burn your ass" hot metal slides during the summer. It's all plastic now. No more wood and bolts construction and the stuff doesn't get over 5 feet high anymore. They have that foam-rubber you could drop an egg on and it wouldn't break.
ReplyThey used to build the things to reinforce the "you better not give up or you're going home with a skinned knee and splinters in your ass" attitude. The equipment itself taught the growth mind-set. Just look at the slides in the video. That's cement at the bottom and the kid went down out of the orange one face first. That's awesome.
And your a bad riter.
ReplyI love watching kids fall on their faces. Does that make me a bad person?
ReplyAnd Ian, your a douche.
I should point out that this video was dated in 1987, which says two things:
Reply1.) People coddle their kids a lot more these days
2.) It is probably one of the Cracked staffers as a child (I'm going to guess Lex Friedman).
At first I thought the crap on the kid's face was blood, so I was like "Geez lady, stop laughing at your kid 'cause he's fucking bleeding." But now that I see it't just mud, I say laugh away, lady.
Replylaugh away.
I wasn't gonna saying anything about that because I thought maybe we could keep the racism out of it for a day. I guess I set my expectations to high. Thanks, Ian.
ReplyI am offended by the fact that at the end of that video, the kid had what appears to be a Hitler moustache made of mud. Shame on you, Cracked.
ReplyI'm glad I'm not the only person who see parents that way too over protective as a bad way to raise a kid.
ReplyI definitely think it's better to let the kids get hurt every now and again. The kid had guts... he smacked his face and went right up and tried to climb the slide a harder way. Clean him up and let him do it again. Way to foster the growth mind-set. That kid is gonna climb Everest one day.
I love how the spot where he sprayed the paint still shines. It looks like one of those rubber Elvis "wigs".
ReplyPS - The above was a reference to Britney Spears, not my own personal parenting techniques. Just to clear that up.
ReplyGood parents laugh at their kids.
ReplyBad parents think the apocalypse starts when Baby-High-Waters falls on his bum.
Really bad parents turn their kids into sexual ingenues and let them dress in naughty school girl outfits.
Wait...what were we talking about?
I'm a parent, and I can't help but laugh a bit...is that wrong??
Reply