Awesome Video Of The Day
Slide Owns Kid… Twice
I’ll admit it: yesterday was a little rough. Racism, stereotypes, puppets… it wasn’t for everyone, and several commenters made it abundantly clear that they didn’t think Chuck Knipp’s portrayal of southern black women was very funny. Today, I’d like to make up for it with a video of something I’m pretty sure we can all get behind: parents laughing at their injured, sobbing children.
I’m not a parent, but I’m pretty sure that openly laughing at your child after they do something stupid is a good rule of thumb. It sends a very clear message: “You have room for improvement.” Sure, you could rush to his side and tell him that he did a great job of climbing that slide, but you’d both know that wasn’t true. That would be a lie, and while it might temporarily boost his self-esteem, recent studies have shown that it would probably actually harm him in the long run.
Moral of the story? Laugh at your children when they hurt themselves and they will be very successful. Like they’ll grow up and become lawyers and politicians. That IS what you want, ISN’T IT?
The Worst Of “As Seen On TV”
The Product: Jerome Russell Spray On Hair Color Thickener
The Ad Copy: “Don’t be self-conscious about your thinning hair anymore! Spray On Hair Thickener will effectively cover up light to medium bald spots. Thinning areas will appear fuller and thicker!”
Price: $9.95 plus $6.95 shipping & handling
Target Demographic: People so self-conscious about their male pattern baldness that they prefer to walk around with their heads covered in spray paint
Why It Sucks: Is there really anyone out there who actually uses this product? Are there guys who consider spray painting their scalps just another part of their personal hygiene regimen, like flossing or using deodorant? Do they use it every day, or is it only for special occasions? If I were balding and I bought a bottle of this stuff, I’d try to only put it on when I went out to the club or whatever. You know - to give me that extra edge. I’d be all, “Hey - I have real human hair growing out of my scalp.” Then they’d ask if they could touch it, but by then I’d already be having sex with them. That’s how clubs work when you’re the kind of guy who spray paints your own bald spot.
Stupid Factor (1 to 10): 10
This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Advertising, Inventions, Kids, Nooners, TV, Video. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
8 Things 'The Lost Boys' Could Teach 'Twilight' Vampires
The 5 Lamest Forwarded Emails (And Why Your Mom Loves Them)
The 5 Biggest News Stories You Missed During Election Season
"I Have Brain Cancer": 6 Amazing Non-Sex Scenes from Porn
BJ The Messenger Attackheads Some Crackheads, Invents A Word In The Process: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
5 Lessons American TV Should Learn From Japanese Game Shows
10 Female 80s Cartoons That Ushered Us Into Manhood
An Open Letter To Michael Cera
The Six Flags Mascot: Like Being Kicked in the Eyes By AIDS
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Alena…
Many blogs have stopped using trackbacks because dealing with spam became too burdensome. Six Apart started a working group in February…
December 8th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Not to mention her husband crashed his BMW or Porsche 911 because of handling issues, only stopping to rearrange his red braces.
Oh, and something about Boy George.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
Hey, it was the eighties alright? And according to I Love the 80’s, the parent was clearly too busy amusing herself with a rubik’s cube, a Huey Lewis record, or crack cocaine to tend to the child properly.
Cut ‘er some slack.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
damn ross. What did it say? Why tease us with that—why not repost it with a point-by-point assessment of what made it so offensive? I’m guessing it uncovered a conspiracy— Cracked is actually run by giant falcons. It explains alot.
prove me wrong.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I would like to state for the record that I just deleted a comment for the first time.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Yeah. Playgrounds have been pussified. No more monkeybars over cement or “burn your ass” hot metal slides during the summer. It’s all plastic now. No more wood and bolts construction and the stuff doesn’t get over 5 feet high anymore. They have that foam-rubber you could drop an egg on and it wouldn’t break.
They used to build the things to reinforce the “you better not give up or you’re going home with a skinned knee and splinters in your ass” attitude. The equipment itself taught the growth mind-set. Just look at the slides in the video. That’s cement at the bottom and the kid went down out of the orange one face first. That’s awesome.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
And your a bad riter.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I love watching kids fall on their faces. Does that make me a bad person?
And Ian, your a douche.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
I should point out that this video was dated in 1987, which says two things:
1.) People coddle their kids a lot more these days
2.) It is probably one of the Cracked staffers as a child (I’m going to guess Lex Friedman).
December 6th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
At first I thought the crap on the kid’s face was blood, so I was like “Geez lady, stop laughing at your kid ’cause he’s fucking bleeding.” But now that I see it’t just mud, I say laugh away, lady.
laugh away.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I wasn’t gonna saying anything about that because I thought maybe we could keep the racism out of it for a day. I guess I set my expectations to high. Thanks, Ian.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I am offended by the fact that at the end of that video, the kid had what appears to be a Hitler moustache made of mud. Shame on you, Cracked.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only person who see parents that way too over protective as a bad way to raise a kid.
I definitely think it’s better to let the kids get hurt every now and again. The kid had guts… he smacked his face and went right up and tried to climb the slide a harder way. Clean him up and let him do it again. Way to foster the growth mind-set. That kid is gonna climb Everest one day.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
I love how the spot where he sprayed the paint still shines. It looks like one of those rubber Elvis “wigs”.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
PS - The above was a reference to Britney Spears, not my own personal parenting techniques. Just to clear that up.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Good parents laugh at their kids.
Bad parents think the apocalypse starts when Baby-High-Waters falls on his bum.
Really bad parents turn their kids into sexual ingenues and let them dress in naughty school girl outfits.
Wait…what were we talking about?
December 6th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I’m a parent, and I can’t help but laugh a bit…is that wrong??