Awesome Video Of The Day
Skaters Rule, Bikers Drool
If you’re like me, you don’t really like watching anything more than 10 seconds long. That can make things difficult sometimes, but as this video shows, a lot can happen in 10 seconds. Be sure to watch it with the sound on. That’s really important.
If you get into a fight at a skatepark and you whip the other kid with a branch, that’s pretty bad. But if you whip a kid with a branch, get hit with a skateboard and collapse to the ground crying, well, I don’t even know what that is to be honest. Viral video infamy, I guess.
The Worst Of “As Seen On TV”
The Product: Butter Dispener
The Ad Copy: “Is your butter so hard to spread it destroys your bread? Are you sick of messy trays with butter so bad you want to throw it away? Then you need the Butter Dispenser!”
Price: $14.95 plus $6.95 shipping & handling (includes Butter Dispenser & 4 “Shape Disks”)
Target Demographic: People who don’t understand that you can soften up your butter by taking it out of the fridge 15 minutes before you want to use it, people who want their butter to come out in different shapes, people who love to buy stupid shit they saw on TV
Why It Sucks: It doesn’t, actually. As an American citizen it is my God-given right to purchase ridiculous gadgets I don’t need and to consume all the delicious butter my cholesterol-choked heart desires, and if I can be totally frank with you guys, I have to say that butter in stick form just isn’t cutting it anymore. What a royal pain in the ass, right?! You have to open the box, take the stick out, peel the paper off… half the time you end up totally destroying the bread, and the other half of the time you end up hurting your arm by pressing too hard or cutting yourself on the knife or sustaining some other type of butter-related injury. Last I checked it was the 21st century - maybe it’s time we start acting like it. Maybe it’s time we got us some Butter Dispensers and start acting like civilized fucking human beings.
Stupid Factor (1 to 10): 0 (not stupid at all)
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December 6th, 2007 at 2:43 am
Hello
TEZT!
Bye
December 4th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
“The Butter Dispenser can turn one stick of butter into a ribbon that’s over ten feet long.”
Wow, how impressive is that?
“Kids will have fun making their own treats like peanut butter ribbons.”
Haha, that is fun and not disgusting at all.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
All of the butter dispenser nozzles are impractical. The big round one truly does look like a yellow turd. The only one that would make any sense is a grid like with a garlic press, and that’s not up there. In other words, this thing looks like crap that will be a bitch to clean and make your butter look like a sick yellow turd.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
“Is your butter so hard to spread it destroys your bread?”
Yes.
“Are you sick of messy trays with butter so bad you want to throw it away?”
Yes.
“Then you need the Butter Dispenser!”
Okay.
December 4th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I’m real glad my teen years were before the rise of the Internet. I have a number of embarrassing events that I’m happy didn’t get caught on a cellphone cam.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
If you follow the embedded Iraqi reporters you would know that Iraqi children follow American soldiers around no matter what, wherever, whenever they see one.
December 4th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I was gonna go look at shockabilly, but thanks to Ross I have no desire to go ever. Thank you for saving me the time, Ross. This is yet another reason I will continue to come to cracked.com over other crappy sites.
December 4th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Here’s the current main page of Shockabilly.com:
Looks pretty hilarious, Nathan.
December 4th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
I hope the person who designed the Play-Doh Fun Factory is getting a cut of that butter gizmo.
December 4th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I used to go to ebaums until it turned into a pile of shit and started putting up videos from Iraq of people being sniped or blown up, or the video of the army guys holding out a water bottle as little children chase after them in hopes of having some clean water.
The video entitled “if you’re having a bad day” or something like that was a series of people falling down mountains, being sweeped away in storms/hurricanes/tsunamis, and other such attrocities.
I want funny, and people dying and falling down mountains doesn’t qualify.
December 4th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
You’re lucky I frequent Shockabilly as much as I do (Shockabillaholic). Without me, the AVOTD would turn biweekly and erupt in a monumental coup lead by the five people who read your blog for the video because they haven’t found ebaum yet.
Yes, I am a glory hog. Look at me. I advocate awkward pre-teens embarassing themselves. Look at me.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Butter related injuries are nothing to laugh about….
December 4th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
I used to skate when I was in high school. If there’s one thing I remember, it’s that the kids who showed up at the skate park on mountain bikes were all huge sissies.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
I don’t know which kid should be pissed off, but I know I would be if my friend was holding the camera and didn’t feel in any way motivated to stop someone from a) hitting me with a stick, or b) throwing a skateboard at me, causing me to fall down and cry, thereby humiliating myself in front of the internet.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
i only take my butter in swastika form.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I’m disappointed in myself. I make a reference to it sounding like an ambulance and I didn’t make the immediote jump to someone calling the “whambulance.” Maybe next time.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Haha. Sounds more like he’s trying to imitate an ambulance than crying. I kinda feel sorry for the kid, but he shouldn’t have whipped the other one. At least we know the answer to the age-old question: what is mightier? The tree branch or the skateboard?
December 4th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I’m sorry…but that last bit of butter looks like turd. Thick, wet, turd.