If you're like me, you don't really like watching anything more than 10 seconds long. That can make things difficult sometimes, but as this video shows, a lot can happen in 10 seconds. Be sure to watch it with the sound on. That's really important.
If you get into a fight at a skatepark and you whip the other kid with a branch, that's pretty bad. But if you whip a kid with a branch, get hit with a skateboard and collapse to the ground crying, well, I don't even know what that is to be honest. Viral video infamy, I guess.
The Worst Of "As Seen On TV"The Product:Butter DispenerThe Ad Copy: "Is your butter so hard to spread it destroys your bread? Are you sick of messy trays with butter so bad you want to throw it away? Then you need the Butter Dispenser!"
Price: $14.95 plus $6.95 shipping & handling (includes Butter Dispenser & 4 "Shape Disks")
Target Demographic: People who don't understand that you can soften up your butter by taking it out of the fridge 15 minutes before you want to use it, people who want their butter to come out in different shapes, people who love to buy stupid shit they saw on TV
Why It Sucks: It doesn't, actually. As an American citizen it is my God-given right to purchase ridiculous gadgets I don't need and to consume all the delicious butter my cholesterol-choked heart desires, and if I can be totally frank with you guys, I have to say that butter in stick form just isn't cutting it anymore. What a royal pain in the ass, right?! You have to open the box, take the stick out, peel the paper off... half the time you end up totally destroying the bread, and the other half of the time you end up hurting your arm by pressing too hard or cutting yourself on the knife or sustaining some other type of butter-related injury. Last I checked it was the 21st century - maybe it's time we start acting like it. Maybe it's time we got us some Butter Dispensers and start acting like civilized fucking human beings.
Stupid Factor (1 to 10): 0 (not stupid at all)