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Sex And The City: Give The People What They Want!

  • By: Gladstone
  • November 9th, 2007
  • 3,166 views

Since my Spice Girls post was a such a huge hit, I’ve been searching the web for another story about a group of ladies I no longer think about sexually. And like manna from heaven drop some pics from the forthcoming Sex And The City movie. From what I gather, the plot centers around how unsightly the women have become:

Here’s a shot of Kim Catrall right after one of her nauseated male suitors vomits blood from the sight of her.

Undeterred, Kim starts hitting on blind men. Unfortunately, this dude’s guide dog has to look away.

In a show of solidarity, Sarah Jessica Parker slips in the the fugliest, anorexia-accentuating, erection-obliterating outfit in creation. Apparently, Pippi Longstocking is all grown up, and not even crystal meth gets her blood to circulate.

At about the movie’s halfway mark, the producers trick the audience’s male genitalia out of hiding with younger stand-ins.

And then the ladies return to remind us true beauty knows not the ravages of time. Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! I want to make sweet love. (To that airbrush.)

…oh, and if your penis isn’t dead yet, you can check out the new Spice Girls Video here.

Last 5 posts by Gladstone

This entry was posted on Friday, November 9th, 2007 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Sex and the City. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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19 Responses to “Sex And The City: Give The People What They Want!”

  1. older.men.attraction Says:

    Hi good post. I conceive these points might be useful as well. Now the pleasant pick up notes are the ones that lighter the woman. Straight Off one of the lines might just be in all pleasant fun to help break the ice. That is good and it can at last lead to fetching up in sleep together with her at the end of the night. Heck what man doesn’t want that, but knowing what to read and how to pull it off can require a bit of practise. A serious pick up line will take you in the door but from there you have to be self-assured decent to hold the conversation active.

  2. Zee Says:

    Broken as of 11/2

  3. alex Says:

    I dont know guys, the brunette girl is pretty hot….ive been wanting to bang her out since junior high…

  4. tank Says:

    A Cheffie : my thoughts exactly

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD aaarrrggh!

  5. A Cheffie Says:

    Also, in that final photo their heights are all screwy, leading me to suspect that they have, amusingly, been Photoshopped to give the illusion that they could stand to be in the same room as each other.

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  9. Justin Says:

    Yeah, I was joking

  10. Ross Says:

    Megan Fox can ride my giant mechanised highly-advanced piece of AI that can transform into a form of motor transport.

    Oh yeah, anytime.

  11. Nick Says:

    Why are people worried about these old ladies? Seriously guys… if you’re gonna watch a movie for babes, you might as well watch a movie that’s not a chick flick and has hotter chicks. Plus, you probably already own it.

    Transformers: nostalgia… check…. giant fighting robots… check…. Megan Fox…. double check…. I’d triple check, but I’m already done. She’s just that hot.

  12. Eek Says:

    In the picture with Kim Catrall chatting up the blind man, it looks as though the pet ferret belonging to her vagina is attempting to break its leash.

  13. CSS Says:

    The studio keeps these ladies locked in a darkened room, away from age-inducing sunlight, and feeds them only enough thin gruel to keep them alive. But they still need copious amounts of Photoshop In A Can before they can go out in public.

  14. Gladstone Says:

    Ross, I think Justin may have been joking. Justin? No?

  15. Ross Says:

    Especially if those four years turn out to be 2 decades.

  16. Justin Says:

    I don’t know, Kim Catrall looked pretty good in “Mannequin”. That was only like four years ago or something, I think, but four years can be a lot for a woman’s looks.

  17. Ross Wolinsky Says:

    I’m into anything that brings my Oedipus complex into sharp focus.

  18. Ian Cooper Says:

    That featureless beige void which they’ve been photoshopped in front of for the last picture is a perfect representation of my level of attraction for them.

  19. B8ovin Says:

    I hope that at some point in the movie it is explained why that horse has argyle socks on and is walking on two hooves. Also, I don’t know what Sex and the City is, but in looking at the picture of the figure in the bloodied fur coat, are they making another installment of the Mummy series? In any event, thanks. It’ll be a looong time before I “peel my banana”.

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