Cracked Columnists

Script Contest Winner! Thanks For Doing Our Job (Suckers)

ASTOUNDING BONUS ANNOUNCEMENT (for regular announcement, see following paragraphs)!!!

We thought so many of your awesome scripts were awesome, we've had a last-minute hoarding instinct surge and decided to shoot not one, but TWO of the submitted sketches. Colin Elzie, as our runner-up, you can look forward to seeing your sketch too featured on the Cracked front page, and a relatively modest hundred dollars for your efforts. Sweetness!

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ANNOUNCEMENT

Hey, rubes, how's it going? Nice job with the sketches.

For those of you who missed it, a few weeks back, we announced that we'd be willing to let one lucky reader do our job for us. The winner would get to see their script turned into a video on the front page of Cracked.com and $300. Meanwhile, we'd spend the extra time basking in tropical sun on a little island nation called SuperTahiti.

Heard of it? Didn't think so. It's above Tahiti. WAY above.

So while the Cracked staffers were seeing who could fit the most paid models onto the prow of their yacht without capsizing, you folks were apparently hard at work. So hard at work, in fact, that sifting through your many, many excellent submissions and selecting the one that is unequivocally, without question the best took us much longer than expected. Why, it took all the way until...NOW!

So without further ado, we're pleased to announce that for once, we will not be exploiting the fact that nobody called "No Takebacks" when we made an announcement. The winner of CRACKED's first thing like this is...

C. J. TUOR!

His entry "Timed Presentation" so dominated everyone else's that we're positive all the entrants will join us in our chorus of contest-rules-mandated praise. CONGRATULATIONS, CONTESTANT!

You can look forward to seeing your sketch brought to vivid life by the CRACKED team and featured on the very front page, as well as 300 bucks, AKA what we found in the cracks of Soren's waveless waterbed after "Make It Rain" night.

Enjoy our orgy-stink all up in your Paypal, C.J.

And to all those who entered, a hearty thanks from the CRACKED team. There were so many good sketches submitted, we plan to do this again soon, and may in fact never have to do our jobs again. Keep living our dreams, kids.

Keep living our dreams.

If you missed this contest, or were one of the many fantastic entries who didn't get selected (as opposed to the entries that were just racism in rhyming couplets) it's NOT too late. You can post your videos in the forum any time. If we like them, you'll be on the front page of the site and marginally wealthier in no time.

If you don't make movies, but have an idea in mind that would make a great article, sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infograpic or just write a script for one and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!