Science Is Bullshit; This Kid Is Magic: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
12-Year-Old Kid Breaks Computers, Destroys My Entire Belief System
I've always considered myself a fairly rational person. I was brought up in an atheist household, never received any formal religious training, and have always generally believed that unusual occurrences can be explained by science. Or I did, anyway, until I watched this video. Now I know that science can't explain everything... and I'm completely fucking terrified.
Why does this kid break every computer that he touches despite appearing completely normal otherwise? They called in a guy with all kinds of testing equipment to check it out, a bunch of reporters from a local news outlet investigated it, and there's still no answer?! How is this possible?! I need an explanation here. If we can have 12-year-old kids running around calling themselves "Magneto Man" and baffling the experts (of Richland, New York no less!), then it's only a matter of time before I believe in ghosts, leprechauns and Jesus.
So that's great. Thanks a lot, internet - now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to church. Yeah - that's something I do now. Or wait... what do they call the Jewish version of church again? Whatever it is, that's where I'm going. Either there or to the forest where all the leprechauns and ghosts hang out. I'm pretty sure they drink together there at night. I should go, get loaded and think about Jewish Jesus. Between the ghosts, leprechauns, Jewish Jesus and getting loaded, that would be... FOUR BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!
That has to be some sort of record, doesn't it?
Nice looking blog. Which template are you using?
ReplyNo electric people? What about the guy who can pretty much shoot electricity from his fingers and set shit on fire?
Reply...! Oh no, friend Computer! This boy is a Commie mutant traitor!
ReplyBah, i mess up computers and technology even over a distance.
ReplyThough i thing my mobile phone is vampire, feeding of my bioenergy.
I work with a guy that kills wrist watches in a simila fashion. Even wind ups stop working after a week or so, but battery watches. . . dead almost on contact.
ReplyIf a crack team of local news reporters can't crack this case, by God, nobody can.
ReplyI hope this has happened to him just recently...otherwise...who the hell doesn't work with computers until they're 12?
ReplyWow, crackedsucks has made a negative comment. Go figure.
ReplyMy sister and dad do the exact same thing. My sister was banned from her high-school's computer lab after she managed to bring down every computer in it by walking around.
ReplySo...He's figured out how to activate sticky keys? As far as I could tell, the computer was just acting as though he was holding down the shift key when he wasn't.
ReplySeems like the sort of thing I would have pulled at his age.
We aren't really an 'American' culture here at Cracked. We've spawned from across the globe, and the regular readers do influence what the writers post (as they like to try to keep us happy... at least to some extent- except Gladstone who tailors his posts to upset as many of us as he can).
ReplyAlso, 'SMART cultures' makes me think of some kind of yogurt ad.
where are these so-called SMART cultures? we must learn from them.
Replyin some cultures, this blog would be considered humorous.
Replyin SMART cultures [I.E. not america] this is considered unfunny pointless, and forgettable.
So basically we're all saying that this kid's power is the ability to harness shuffling socked feet over a rug. Pah! My power is fifty times better than that: I have the power of spontaneous musicals! Ooh, you can shoot wimpy lightning bolts out of your fingers after walking around your mom's living room for six hours? I can make you belt out your most inane thoughts and emotions with the magnitude of Yma Sumac getting hit in the crotch with a mac truck....until you die! Or to save time, I could just sneak up behind you while you're doing the dance number and stab you in the chest mid-pliae. How can you thunder me with a hole in your chest?
ReplyKnow who else breaks every computer they touch? Hannah Montana
ReplyWell, someone had to say it.
Thetans? You mean like, he's a Scientologist?
ReplyThat's much worse than being a mutant...send Anonymous after him ASAP
I actually have a similar power. Every mouse I use, be it trackball or optical, always ends up going weird, firing off in random directions with no warning. It makes playing Ghost Recon into a real challenge for my teammates when I start having spasms and shooting off at random...
ReplyThat also sounds like my love life. Thankfully, Mrs.glendoor42 is real understanding.
That kid is adorable.
ReplyI'd cry if he came near my computer, but he is adorable otherwise.
If you guys are so deadset on killing him I guess I'm going to have to join the Brotherhood of Evil Mutant Dudes, under Magento Man's leadership. :|
I think he has thetans... just positing a theory.
ReplyI have a similar power over lawn mowers. I can just look at one and they fucking die.
Reply