Saturday Night Bieber
This past Saturday, Dame Justin Bieber appeared on Saturday Night Live as the musical guest. It was hosted by Tina Fey and you can catch the "full" episode here. "Full" was in quotes because Hulu seems to have cut quite a bit from the episode. The Goodbyes at the end had Fey thanking Steve Martin, who was apparently in a sketch? You couldn't tell from the episode, because the Hulu version has Martin only appearing for the Goodbyes. Fey's monologue could also not be found, nor could either of Bieber's performances. It makes sense that there were no tweeny Bieber tunes (Twiebunes?), because I imagine 12-year-old girls probably don't watch much TV at midnight on a Saturday. I don't know for sure, though, because I'm not very familiar with 12-year-old girls (except for The Biebs herself). Also, Bwuners can be pretty disturbing:
Despite the absence of any Tweibers, she did appear in several live sketches. I did a little searching and managed to find everything from the episode that was cut for the Hulu version. The elusive Steve Martin sketch was apparently just one of many that featured surprise guests. Here were some of my favorites...
This would have been funnier if Myers didn't choose to just read Cat In The Hat out loud for five minutes. He didn't even use his Sprockets character's voice, it was bizarre. Admittedly, the sketch would have been way less funny if Bieber didn't get nervous and puke on stage. Glad she did that.
It wouldn't have been an episode of SNL without an appearance from Gilly (apparently). Bieber killed in this sketch, in that she literally shot someone to death on stage. A warrant for her arrest is pending, because LOOK AT THAT PUNUM! Seriously, Biebs is totes presh and spesh (totally precious and special).
This was definitely the best sketch I've seen all year. Bieber's raw physicality and stage presence was awe-inspiring. Seriously, she owned that stage. My only complaint would be the overuse of the character's catchphrase, "Why did I choose to live near the river on top of my van? I could easily live inside the van!"
Agent Mulder himself showed up for a reprise of his classic "Goat Files" sketch (based on a sneeze by Jim Breuer). Biebs did Goat Skully justice, but not a whole lot.
I think it's a testament to Bieber's skills as an actress that she appeared as herself in this sketch. Maybe I don't know what "testament" or "actress" or "skills" mean, but I stand by what I said.
She puked in this one, too.
This article is totes presh and spesh
ReplyYeah.
ReplyMaybe it's because I don't watch SNL (I'm British, get over it), maybe it's because I don't exactly know who this "Biebs" lass is (I lie, I read enough of your collumns to know who s/he is) or maybe it's because I straight up don't care about all this "tween sensation" crap that apprently floods the entertainment industry these days, but this was below average of what I'm used to for your articles.
ReplyFor your own sake (more my own sake really) I hope you shy away from all this tween s**t regardless of how easy it is to make fun of or whatever.
I WANNA UNDERSTAND THE FUNNY HERE! I DONT! CODY, WHAT ARE YOU ON? AHHHH!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
ReplyAlright Cody you got me with this one; I cracked up. This was pretty good.
ReplyI JUST DONT UNDERSTAND
ReplyJustin Bieber's head on Chris Farley's made this article for me!
ReplyWho the f**k is justin beiber? Where did he come from all of a sudden? Is he another Disney kid?
ReplyJustin Beiber is what happens when the human race stops giving a s**t about musical talent and allows a 12 year old to screech into a mic. He also says "I'm gonna git you" in one of his songs (and not in a cute way, it's closer to something you'd run away from yelling "RAPE").
Yes, he's another Disney Kid.
Unfortunately, the sound of castrati seems to be making an unexplained comeback.
ReplyHow unfortunate...
I love Justin Beiber for a 12 year old shes prity hot
ReplyI don't like Bieber too, but this is lame.
ReplyI love Justin Beiber, he's such a perfect target, like Sarah Palin.
ReplySlightly funny article but could've been better.
Hahha! I hate Justin Beiber with a every inch in my heart. He basically made me want hang myself with the barney theme on.
Replylame
ReplyYou know, if you guys hate Cody so much, why do you bother to comment on his articles, you should just not read anything by him
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe midget! Nice.
You know, if you hate the Cody haters so much, why do you bother commenting about their comments, you should just not read them
If you hate the people who hate the cody haters so much then why do you bother commenting on their comments instead of ignoring them.
Love you Cody. Come on if you're reading Cracked then you should definitely be appreciating these immature jokes at the expense of justin beibers gender. Good article, I liked it.
Replythis is not worthy of a comment...even thou i juss commented lol
ReplyBeiber does look like a 12-year-old girl.
ReplyBy the way, Steve Martin was in the opening monologue. Tina Fey sang a song, introducing all of the people that kept her life in check, and she mentioned her "tax lawyer, Steve Martin."
Also, I love how you put JB's face on Chris Farley's "Van Down By the River" skit. That was great.
Justin Bieber is a God among men.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesfalse.
totes false
So very false.
That's megafalse.
I think they should just feed Cody to DOB or Swaim. Why let this fool waste valuable article space when we could be making Swaim STRONGER?!
ReplyI don't think that Swaim writes here anymore. He isn't in the columnist bar anymore. I R SO SAD >: D.O.B. is still here, though. Or, imagine a super strong FORTEY!!!
Swaim only makes videos. Where have you been for the last 6 months?