Those zany British were in the news again this week, as it was revealed that an obscure law states that it is illegal to die in Parliament—which is like their version of Congress, except that the members call each other “right honourable gentlemen” instead of “treasonous pigfuckers” or whatever they’re saying in Washington nowadays. (Note: for approximately half its sessions, Parliament is known as “Funkadelic.”)
This fascinating legal tidbit emerged as part of a TV poll which compiled the most ridiculous laws on Her Majesty’s books, which also included such gems as “it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store” (hot), “a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet” (superhot), and “the head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen” (I am so goddamn hot right now).
However, the poll’s creators must have forgotten the following laws, which while perhaps not strictly verifiable, are nonetheless demonstrably followed to the letter, in a noble effort to prevent anarchy in the U.K.:
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March 16th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
i am the only british guy who understands baseball
July 11th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Methinks Ross is a fool. Britain is not a country, it’s an island. The island has 3 constituent countries. The United Kingdom is a country, which has 4 constituent countries, one of which, Northern Ireland, has 6 counties.
November 9th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
By the way, not to be a pedandic dick but Britain is four seperate countries with at least 10 or 20 counties each.
Britain isn’t just London.
Sorry to be pedantic, you know i love you guys (in a totally rugged manly way).
November 9th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
It’s legal to wee in a policeman’s hat if you’re a pregnant lady caught short.
November 8th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Man, monarchy is so anachronic… We suffer it in Spain too, and believe me: I’m tired of feeding, clothing and giving them fucking big houses. I think we need that thing called guillotine.
November 8th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
A few days ago was Hitler day on the Cracked Blog. Today it’s “not being allowed to make dick jokes” day.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Invites the locals round TO WATCH, I should say; he’s not a psychopath.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
The Spice Girl thing is like carousel from Logan’s Run; Cleese has this massive floaty machine in his garden and he invites the locals round each year. Well, invited until they got famous in the mid 90s and were granted endangered species status seeing as there were only 5 left anyway.
After that he had to content himself with picking off members of S Club 7 and Steps.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:43 am
It’s not that we don’t understand baseball. It’s that we don’t care about baseball. As far as I’m concerned it’s called rounders and no-one over 12 plays it.