Sure, there’s a lot to hate about my co-bloggers: Michael Swaim’s virulent racism; Chris Buckholz’s obsession with child pornography (That’s what Heroes is about, right? I’ve never seen it), and Ian Cooper’s inability to tell black hats from white ones.
But if I had to focus my hatred squarely on one of my peers, I’d to have to go for Ross Wolinsky. “What? The wacky clip guy?” you say. “Surely, he never hurt anyone.”
Well, of course, Ross seems harmless. That’s his trick. If the devil blogged about murdered children that would be too obvious! But Ross with his invisible tacos and handicable breakdancers has moved in under the radar — purveying his evil directly to the masses.
Specifically, I’m referring to his Halloween post where he brought us this clip:
(BTW, you’ll notice that I reproduced the clip in full size. Was that so hard, Wolinsky? Why so stingy? No wonder Swaim calls you a cheap Jew bastard behind your back.) Anyway, seems like just a harmless little bit of horrible music brought to you by Mr. Wolinsky, right? Maybe to you. Maybe to me. But what about the children? Ross has completely ignored the damage that could ensue by putting forth such video. I offer, as proof, my son who had been enjoying The Beatles, David Bowie, and The Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack before Ross came into our lives. Now he spends his days alone in our basement doing this all day long:
Damn, you Wolinsky. Damn you straight to Hell.
This entry was posted on Monday, December 10th, 2007 at 4:00 pm and is filed under David Bowie, Internet, Satan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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July 31st, 2009 at 12:25 am
For me one of the best painters who every lived, such a sad story for such a talented person.
December 14th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Hmm, i’m rather split with my loyalties.
On the one hand Gladstone comes across as a dapper gent, and I usually work in Gladstone Street in my home city, so it reminds me of earning money.
Yet Ross shares my first name. And you can’t beat that.
YET, Michael Swaim gave me some excellent advise on dealing with T-Rex’s.
Oh and Ian Cooper and Chris Bucholz are cool. I suppose.
Ah to hell with it, I love you all.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:01 am
i read the blog on the site called sugarmommymeet.com. it is a service for well off women seeking handsome and charming men. there are blogs regarding various topics.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Hah!
December 12th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Thanks GMan!
December 12th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
lol
December 12th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Andy, if I “post after” you instead of “postafter” you as you suggest, then i just suck dick soft core, right? That’s a relief.
And GMan, I want you to be honest with me. If you think I’m the best Cracked blogger and the rest all suck, just give me a sign. Just say “lol” and nothing more.
December 11th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Last what?
December 11th, 2007 at 8:48 am
What was that?
Apparently Captain there has been another post from the future.
When will these people they are endangering their existence as well as ours?
I have no idea Captain but as I was saying our presence here has thwarted Mr. Andy Pants
attempt to change the sexual persuasion of the blog writer Gladstone.
Well at least our being here has done some good ,I guess. Mr. Data I want you to see if you
can modify our forward deflector to emit a tachyon pulse, possibly to send these “writers” a
message informing them of the destruction they are causing.
Yes Captain.
And Mr. Data please expedite your efforts to get us out of of this horrid place as soon as possible.
Yes Captain, I understand completely, I will endeavor to do my best sir.
Make it so.
December 11th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Mr. Data please apprise me of the situation.
Captain, it seems that the rift in the space time continuum is growing. There have been three more posts from the future.
Cause?
It appears that two blog writers, blog writing was a semi national past time late 20th and early 21 first centuries…….
Unfortunately, I’m aware of what blog writings were. Please continue.
Yes Captain, It appears that two 21 first blog writers are ripping holes in the space time continuum to bolster their fragile egos.
Are they not aware of the danger this poses to us all?
No Captain, apperantely they are not.
Anything else?
Yes Captain, one of the commenter’s here, a Mr. Andy Pants, seems to want to turn one of the bloggers into a homosexual.
Well that makes no sense.
You have something to add Commander Riker?
Well Captain I thought that all blog writers were homosexuals.
No Commander Riker that was a common misconception, due to the high levels of sexual frustration among them. Please continue Mr. Data
Our presence here has thwarted Mr. Andy Pants attempt at changing the sexual persuasion
December 10th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Hey, Gladstone, if you want to admit to the world that you really suck dick, hardcore, just postafter me.
December 10th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
What was that?
December 10th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
lolz
December 10th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
its just not right the way you people after me toy with the system.
December 10th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Cheaters!!!!!
December 10th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Wait a minute dammit , now he’s laughing at me !!! Well I’ll show his ass I’ll just wait until 12/12/07 at 6:49PM then I’ll laugh at him. Well Goddammit wait, If I submit this comment then he will just be laughing at me again.I just won’t look until then . HAH!
December 10th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Well now he is laughing at the visible taco.
December 10th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
I’ve tried asking politely what the visible taco is for, I’ve tried asking if I could just see the visible taco up close, and I’ve tried PURCHASING the visible taco (in other words, I’ve tried bribing a cashier). Each of these three attempts were met with almost Lynchian blank stares.
I think the visible taco is destined to remain a mystery for the immediate future… although a friend of mine spotted a visible sandwich at a truck stop in Colorado, which gives me hope for some reason.
December 10th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
I’m still waiting on the explanation of the visible taco.
Come on, Ross. It’s not like you aren’t at the Taco Bell half the day anyway. Be a responsible blogger.
December 10th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
And he’s laughing at us FROM THE FUTURE!!! ……………………… SEE!
December 10th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
right. dude. for some reason the time stamps got all effed. He commented last night but in the future.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
ohhhh. Its because its listing them in chronological order, and Gmans will be the last, timewise until the 12th.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
how could you know when Gman’s post was if his post was after yours? weird.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
The article also disappeared after I read it last night. Then to magically reappear today. If I had any sanity left I would be seriously questioning it, but I don’t, so i’m not that worried.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
You have a fine eye for detail “a parent” Actually, all the blogs were messed up today and this post was NOT supposed to appear at all last night, but did. I can’t explain it. something technical. But I dare all you readers to type LOL to see which one of you can beat that uppity GMan to the coveted “Last” spot.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I hit jmcfarl3 link the other day and have been to traumatized to comment on it.
This article was very funny. The most amazing thing about though, is the time travelling ability it seems to have. Please note the dates of the first four comments 12/09/07. Now notice that GMan’s comment comes to us from two days in the future. Now if he is the GMan from the Half Life series of video games that is not beyond the realm of possibility. But I saw this article last night about 9:20 or so PM, and besides having no life, I have no special time traveling power that I know of, and get this ,the article was originally dated as posted on 12/12/07. Strange very strange.
Wolinsky may be the Antichrist(If he caused your child to sing this song incessantly, he is)
but you Mr. Gladstone apparently have some kind of superduper time/space/continuum displacement blogging power.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
You fucked up bad, Wolinsky. I’m gonna continue to read everything you post, but now it will be to make sure you can’t continue to corrupt our children.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Apparently the world isn’t ready for the awesome power of my black hat/white hat joke. Like the work of Van Gogh, it will no doubt receive its due appreciation only long after my death.
December 9th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
I have only two things to say in response to this:
#1 - You should not let your children read the Cracked Blog.
#2 - I suspect this post is meant to prove that Cracked Bloggers are capable of procreating.
December 9th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
I don’t have anything to say about the video, but I’ll NEVER click on the links to another person’s website again, thanks to jmcfarl3
December 9th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Ross Wolinsky should be skinned alive, just like the neighbors’ cat.
Which I skinned. Alive.
Also, lol.
December 9th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
lolz!!!!
FTFY