Rorschach's Fight Club Journal
Dear Diary,
The city is dying. Always must fight. Stranger doffed his cap to me today. Punched him. Got arrested.
Jail's great.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
Different stranger bailed me out. Didnt know him. Can still say he didnt seem to be himself. Told me about a club. Seemed nice. Might check it out.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary
Must stop everyone from everything. Scum is everywhere and its eating away on the city.
Talked to Betsy today. Made her smile. Not going to assume anything just yet.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
Went to that club. Liked it.
Liked it a lot.
Will definitely go again. Very strict club. Wont talk more about it.
Talked to Betsy again. She is garbage.
The city needs me.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
Am loving this club. Want to tell someone. Cant. Everyone there is awesome. Some are tough. Wont say more.
Cant.
Cant even tell Betsy. Nervous about asking Betsy out. Might not.
Want to kill the city.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
The city reaches out to me. Its arm is infected and oozing. City must die so I can save it. Betsy must die.
Met new girl today. Hangs out with the leader of my new club. Really want to talk to you about it. Cant, because the first two rules are the same.
Might talk to new girl. Wont.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
New girl ignoring me. Always hanging out with guy from club. Want to kill her. Want to watch her get killed.
Makes me think of Betsy.
Clubs still awesome.
Love it.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
Have to stop club. Cant let Betsy die. Need Betsy. Club means the end. End means end of Betsy.
Cant let it happen. Like Betsy. Hell, like like Betsy.
Cant give that up.
Cant give up on the city.
Want to.
Hate city.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dearest Diary,
Betsy proposed. Said yes. Ceremony tomorrow, but already having cold feet. Cant help but think that feet are a dish best served cold. Want to eat feet. Must stop something
City is
Danger...
Do you ever get the feeling that you forgot something? I know. Of course not. Because youre a diary. I just feel like I forgot something. If only I could read, then I could read you and recall this important important thing I was supposed to do. Sadly, you are the only thing I know that knows how to read. Like that book, Fight Club. Can't believe they wrote me out of the whole goddamn thing.
Betsy says hi.
Yours,
Rorschach
Dear Diary,
Will be my last entry. Previous entry too meta. Mailing this to someone who cares. My mum.
Feeling much better about the scum of the city. Will get better.
Everything good.
I think of death. I smile.
In a good way.
City will be fine. Especially with that nice Adrian Veidt boy around.
Such a nice boy.
Yours,
Rorschach
Thank you Mr. Durden. Good night. Broken knuckles. Bloody nose.
ReplyPunctured lung. Night air burns deep. Didn't say I couldn't
wear a mask. Didn't say what it was you saw. What you saw in my face. Didn't say because you couldn't breath. Good bye Mr. Durden. Rule 9. Nobody wins.
Yours,
Rorschach
#1 - The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
Reply#2 - The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
#3 - If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
#4 - Two guys to a fight.
#5 - One fight at a time.
#6 - No shirts, no shoes.
#7 - Fights will go on as long as they have to.
#8 - If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.
Thank you Mr. Durden. Good night. Broken knuckles. Bloody nose.
Punctured lung. Night air burns deep. Didn't say I couldn't
wear a mask. Didn't say what it was you saw. What you saw in my face. Didn't say because you're not breathing. Good bye, Mr. Durden. Rule 9: nobody wins.
Yours,
Rorschach
Truth be told, Cody is an aquired taste, much like bumsex...and much like bumsex, he is going to get a load of s**t for it. But i've liked some of his stuff and i've cringed at the wankness of others. What REALLY annoys me, is the army of commenters who insist on leaving unneccesarily long comments, which they think are witty, in an effort to prove how much funnier they are than what they're commenting on...like anybody f**king cares. HAH! You'll never catch ME doing that!
ReplyI DO like bumsex, but I really disliked this article. Repetitive and mocking, respect Rorschach and Fight Club. Looks like Cody got bored, stopped trying.
Awesome, keep it up Cody. Cracked would not be the same without you, it would just be jokes about how large various peoples balls are.
Reply"feet are a dish best served cold"
ReplyI really lol'd at that part
TL;DR
ReplyTL;DR
Why do people complain that Cody doesn't appeal to the majority when he doesn't WRITE for the majority?
ReplyxD
ReplyThe first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesWow, you read the book or watched the film? Just... wow...
The second rule of Fight Club is you don't f**king talk about it. Why do you spill such unformation here?
What's the third rule? Bring biscuits on thursdays?
Damn this boy must give some great b*****bs, cause it sure aint his articles that are providing job security.
ReplyEither Cody is the most boring comedy writer out there, our the smartest troll ever. Seriously I think he purposefully makes these things unfunny to the popular viewers and enjoys the replies. He just sits back, does his thing, smoke a cuban, and gets amusement from the comments.
Replyi don't think you see the irony in the fact that what you are doing right now is trolling...
I don't get the hatred. I loved the Watchmen film and to be honest wasn't expecting to. Think this adds a good laugh to a dark character. Reckon you'd have to be in a good mood to read it maybe...or maybe Cody has just pissed a lot of people off in a previous article or something!
ReplyIf Cody makes even half as much as the DOB then I am going to punch the Jack O'Brien in the dick until Cody's lipstick fades.
ReplyI mean.. What ??
This was... meh. I'm not going to go as far as to say all of Cody's stuff sucks (because there are a few articles of his that I like), but this one was really boring.
Replythis is just awful
ReplyI thought it was pretty awesome. I've only read two articles from Cody and so far so good.
ReplyWow....he must be one charming motherf**ker and everyone at cracked must really love him coz that´s the only way I can see he keeps his job as a comedy writer. He has never been funny, ever. Sorry mate yet another epic fail.
Replyread the title, not the author. got tricked but figured since firefox already loaded it, I might as well read it. On the plus, it was a short stream of diarrhea (or hershey squirts for those that like living perpetually in the fifth grade). on the minus, well it was still a stream of diarrhea, like maybe the one you got on the field trip when you sat next to the cute girl in your class on the bus and your friend dared you to eat the entire tube of cafeteria bean paste before hand
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYour entire comment is incredibly ironic
That's not irony, that's mental retardation.
That's not mental retardation, that's your classic case of "I SHOULD WRITE f**kING ARTICLES!!! LOOK HOW FUNNY I AM!!! LOOK DAMMIT!!!"
Dear Annoying Cracked Complainers,
ReplySeriously, no one cares. Tell your blog.
I thought the article was nice. Not laugh out loud but things rarely are for me on the Internet. It was at least enjoyable to read though. :)
I actually loved this. It plays on Rorschach's character so well. I never really picked up on the fact that his hate of the city is a huge contradiction to the fact he chose to die for its cause until just now. Bravo. Why does everyone hate Cody? Combining Watchmen with Fight Club is pure win.
Reply