Have you ever been to Disney's California Adventure? According to Disney's numbers, chances are you haven't.
I have, twice, and I can tell you it's fabulous if you're into walking around and paying sixty bucks for the privilege. Also, two dollars for a pickle. Also, you take their damn "which Disney character are you?" quiz and you get Mrs. Potts every time no matter what the fuck you put in.
Well, they're hoping 1.1 billion dollars will change all that. To attract more young visitors, Disney is adding such technological innovations as a 3-D interactive Toy Story cart ride, a robotic Mr. Potato Head voiced by Don Rickles, and an in-park counselor for when your child is permanently scarred by the virulent insult comedy of the robotic Mr. Potato Head.
All that and the which Disney character are you? quiz tells you that youre Mrs. Potts with a high-definition hologram.
So youve got Toy Story going for you, and the imminent release of Toy Story 3 in 2010. Plus youre adding in robots and video games, which we all know are a hit with the kids. But, to be honest, Disney, youre going to have to do better than that to beat Dubai Land.
If you really want to spin your properties for the Internet generation, may I suggest:
(Thanks ginenbijnoam for the following entries in this list)
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes imagineering videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!