Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer
You can pre-order Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead on Amazon, or find him on Twitter, Facebook and his own site, I Fight Robots, or you can pick up key. Get key. Grab key. Hold key. FUCKING PICK UP KEY
One of the most hilarious things I've read on Cracked. The spam and the friend running to Mexico tipped it from 'yeah, pretty funny' to 'oh god I can't breathe'.
Replythat was so wonderful
ReplyBest... Thing... Ever...
ReplyI made an account for this. I love you. But now I have to remove chopsticks out of my throat. I still love you.
ReplyBetter than getting eaten by a Grue.
ReplyThis just got better and better.
ReplyKill s**t out of deer.
Frolic.
Oh man. Reminds me of Legend of the Red Dragon. s**t was so cash.
Replyyeah... as soon as I saw swaim's screen name I couldn't help but hear his IMs in his voice... I read your skyrim article just before this and... dammit, you're a genius, Brockway. nailed them both. and some tiny bitches
ReplyJust start nailin' tiny bitches.
ReplyThat s**t was cash!
ReplyThis was just completely 100% full-on raging boner styled fantastic. And i completely believe those messages from Swaim were real. Educational articles are all well and good, but sometimes you just need a day in the life kind of piece.
Replyawesome. this was awesome.
ReplyWhile reading this article i was highly amused and a little aroused..
ReplyThe mere mention of gnome rape does that to people.
I laughed for at least 5 minutes straight at "What's slappin', irkins?"
ReplyThis is about the fifth time I've read this. It gets better each time, especially if you imagine the computer as having Samuel L. Jackson's voice.
ReplyI found Morgan Freemans voice adds some hilarity as well.
I f*****g hate people who insist on mindless violence because they think it makes them 'mature' and this was an awesomely hilarious skewering of them. :)
ReplyLoving the Zelda font.
ReplyThis is still awesome. "Murder the s**t out of dear" get's me everytime
Replymind-blowingly hilarious, love you Brockway
ReplyI must be missing out on something because I didn't find this remotely funny.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesSame here.
Brains, probably.
TinCanHitman nails it. In the tin can. Man.
You've played a text adventure game before.