Cracked Columnists

Really Fast Clapping, Sorta Fast Clapping and More Men's Winter Fashions: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The DayKent "Toast" French: The World's Fastest Clapper

They say everyone is good at SOMETHING, but how did this guy figure out that his special skill was clapping really fast? Was he just clapping all the time when he was younger and eventually some of his friends noticed and were like, "That is some FAST clapping, bro!" I don't know about you, but if my friend was always sitting there doing his fast clapping routine, I don't think I'd be friends with that dude for very long.

I guess it's easy to make fun of this guy for spending so much time trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, but you know what's even sadder? Being a WANNABE World's Fastest Clapper. Besides: Have YOU ever met Richard Simmons? I didn't think so.

With Winter just around the corner, it's time to make preparations for the cold months ahead. You're going to want to load up on batteries and canned food and have an emergency plan for your family and all that, but more importantly, you'd better figure out what you're going to wear. Navigating the gauntlet that is Men's Fashion can be scary, but don't worry: I've done all the homework for you, and this week on the Cracked Blog I'll be bringing you my five top picks for the season.The Cracked Guide To Men's Winter FashionLabel: Alexander McQueenMaterials: Wool, Fur, Drapes

Message It Sends To The World: "Mom says I can come play in Milan if I bundle up."

Features

  • Ear flaps & hood to protect you against the elements & muffle the taunts from your peers
  • Accentuated furry shoulder pads to add to your already unbelievably menacing appearance
  • Built-in boxing gloves to defend yourself against the bullies that will inevitably target you when you wear this out of your house
  • Heavy-duty boots (in case you have to do some construction work between photo shoots & runway shows for some reason)
  • Belt made from 100% Italian calfskin leather to hang yourself with for actually buying this
    • Price: $85,000 (skinny tie included)