Awesome Video Of The Day

Rambo IV Trailer

What happened to Sylvester Stallone? In 2003 his career was basically over. A few years go by, and then all of a sudden he pulls a Rocky followup out of his ass. Now it’s a new Rambo movie? What gives? Maybe he fell down in the bathtub and thought to himself, “I could’ve broken my neck… and left the fans guessing what might have happened to Rocky Balboa and John Rambo. Better get to work.”

I don’t know what’s fueling his creative fire, but I hope he’s got a lot of it; there are a lot of Stallone movies that still need the loose ends tied up. What about Cliffhanger and Demolition Man? Where’s the Over The Top sequel? I need closure!

Here’s a basic plot: Lincoln Hawk’s son is all grown up now, a world-class arm wrestler with a chip on his shoulder. He thinks his dad (Stallone) died in the World Trade Center on 9/11, and he’s been out for revenge ever since, arm wrestling his way through Afghanistan. What he DOESN’T know is that his father is alive and well, working deep undercover within an Al-Qaeda Splinter Cell. Doesn’t know, that is, until they end up competing AGAINST EACH OTHER in the Middle Eastern Arm Wrestling Championship. Also, there’s a beautiful woman with a briefcase full of cash and some sort of interesting proposition.

You can have that one for free, Sly. Now get to work.

With Halloween just around the corner, you’ve probably already picked out your costume, asked your date to come with you to the big party and taken November 1st off of work to deal with your hangover. You love Halloween, don’t you? You should be so excited…

But you’re not. Instead, you feel empty. Uninspired. Why is that? Could it be that - gasp - you’re BORED with Halloween? Maybe it’s time to consider some of the alternatives. This week on the Cracked Blog: Halloween alternatives from around the world. How do they stack up? Let’s find out.

Global Holiday Smackdown: HALLOWEEN

Global Contender #5: China’s Hungry Ghost Festival

Celebrated in China “on the 14th night of the seventh lunar month,” The Hungry Ghost Festival marks the return of ghosts and spirits from the underworld. Always fond of paying homage to dead ancestors (who isn’t?), the Chinese offer food to the returning spirits, burn “hell money” and make little trinkets out of paper for the visiting ghosts. A feast is held for the spirits, and then 15 days later the spirits return to the underworld. What they do for those two weeks is anyone’s guess.

Cool Factor (out of 10): 2

Ghosts are usually pretty cool, but the Chinese really blew it with this one.

Winner: Halloween

I don’t care if the Hungry Ghost Festival dates back thousands of years - I’ll take a crappy store-bought Superman costume and a handful of candy corn over a dinner table full of my dead relatives any day of the week… and I HATE candy corn.

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