So this week’s episode is about A&E’s Psychic Kids. A show that proves the once classy network has no (Sixth) sense of shame.
But rather than rehashing the vid, I’d like to use this column to talk to you about my neighbors, The Archers. When they moved in with their two kids last year, I was a little concerned. Mostly because it was clear they were hippies. I feared Mrs Archer coming over at all hours asking to borrow a cup of patchouli. Or Mr. Archer asking me if I wanted to “partake of the sacrement” with his bloodshot eyes and slow grin. But none of that ever happened. They work. They shower. They don’t throw naked unshaved clothing optional parties. And they have the two most awesome kids, Raine and Stella Moon. Yep, that’s right. I’m talking about “Johnny” from the F*cking Science episode of HBN. Well he has an adorable little sister with an even hippier name.
You would think that after the Science episode the Archers would have the good sense not to let Raine come over ol’ G-Stone’s house anymore. But hey, they’re hippies. It takes a village and all that. So not only did I get to use Raine again, but the Archers even honored my request to use little Stella Moon. Bless those freaky bastards.
This entry was posted on Monday, September 8th, 2008 at 8:30 am and is filed under Hate By Numbers, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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June 26th, 2009 at 7:56 am
I use to be skeptical about psychic readings until I went to a psychic myself. For all those who are still skeptical, I would recommend to give it a try once.
May 20th, 2009 at 7:21 am
I just wanted to say WOW! your site is really good and i’m proud to be one of your surfers
September 18th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Gladstone keeps IM’ing my sister. Please stop.
September 12th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Whoa..geez..what the hell is goin’ on? G Stone..I came on to ask you what you’re highest digg count was..and read a little bit. Bad plan. Okay..knock it off, Clint..I can fight my own spats..(and extremely sorry peeps)..it was a misunderstanding.
Even more importantly, G Stone has a doppelganger? (I googled it to make sure I was spelling it right and the definition is : a ghostly double of a living person - especially one that haunts its fleshy components.)
Yikes. And I thought I had problems.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
If you couldn’t guess. A Gladstone imposter wrote the comment above. and most likely many to follow.
September 11th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
DOB is all class. ALL class!
September 11th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Clint… Wow. You speak like you’re from England, you claim to be from Texas and josie’s from Hawaii.
Let the shunning commence.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Is it just me, or is DOB seriously classy!
September 11th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Dear DOB, I just posted my response. Cheers Mate!
September 11th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I love private messages. Speaking of private messages, and relating (somewhat) to the topic of the original article; in the next Japanese-translated ghost movie, the killer ghost should send PMs! Yeah, it sends PMs that are like chain e-mails, and if you don’t send them to 20 people you know in ten minutes, you will die a horrible death.
If all your friends with cell phones are dying when they get text messages, it’s time to decide how badly you want to keep in constant contact with your friends, and how badly you want to live long enough to graduate and no longer be a sexy teenage target for ghosts!
September 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Hi Clint. We haven’t met. I just sent you a Private Message, (it’s what you do when you have something to say that doesn’t necessarily need to be read by the rest of the internet). Please read it and get back to me. Thanks.
September 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Getta loada this guy! =O
September 11th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Sorry. We’re closed. Come again.
September 11th, 2008 at 7:54 am
That’s right, MJ-89. You don’t want none of this. I roll around on the ground like a dog at the pound. Don’t mess with TEXAS! WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! Anyway, Josie’s my girlfriend, so I get offended when people talk about her. Watch what you say.
September 11th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Don’t worry DP, I’m done with Josie. (If nothing else Mr Allen’s threat sounds awful nasty!)
I do heart Mr G-Stone too though, tis a shame he’s abandoned us for next Monday though *Sob*
September 11th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Oh, for crying out loud, has another comments section devolved into this. I don’t want to make rules for comment sections. I mean they’re just comment sections. But if there were rules, I’m pretty sure there’d be some violations.
OK two rules:
1. If your post looks more like an email to one person don’t post it.
2. Only comments that say Ross Wolinsky sucks won’t be deleted.
September 11th, 2008 at 6:44 am
HEY MJ-89: LEAVE JOSIE THE FUCK ALONE! She’s my girlfriend, and I don’t like people talking to her like that. I will open up a can of ClintAllen on your ass and I don’t think you’ll like it. (mainly because the can is expired and the recommended method of application involves a lot of poking).
September 11th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Maybe if you want to continue this, you should take a note from Wolinsky and move over to private messages.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:17 am
MJ, josie, be nice for Gladstone…
September 11th, 2008 at 4:12 am
Oh for fucks sake, Josie. I appologised for confusing you with somebody else’s comment as soon as I realised so don’t act all high and mighty at me.
Don’t call me babe and don’t go on about talking young when you write like you failed grade 6 English.
Believe it or not I don’t want to be mean to you but, honestly, what do you expect when you speak to people the way that you do?
I gave you another chance because I felt bad for confusing your name with somebody else’s, not because I thought you were any less of a twat. I realise my mistake now.
September 11th, 2008 at 3:36 am
Yeah yeah..edit
September 11th, 2008 at 3:34 am
Mj..Babe..if you can’t hang with the big girls..I suggest you may want to not speak..You TALK young..You had you’re chance your chance to apologize..And you admit you are a Sudoku person..did I stutter?..You want to be mean to me? Bring it..
September 11th, 2008 at 2:30 am
No, no, Sudoku is teh bomb!
I used to do it heaps on the train but now that I drive I don’t get as much time. Sometimes I’ll do some puzzles during the ads breaks of my beloved crime shows, however.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:16 am
unless your comment was facetious…in which case I have published my nerdy current love of a fad that was around 2 years ago.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:15 am
Oh MJ I love you. Sudoku is my favourite thing to do on the morning bus to work!!!
September 11th, 2008 at 1:35 am
@ Josie
My apologies for mistaking the gram comment, I’d just woken up so must misread or typed the wrong thing name or something.
That said, I think your wheelbarrow comment was a retarded thing to say and that is the thing that truly annoyed me… By the way I do Sudoku.
@ J-Pappi
I noticed you were there, you just made the huge mistake of having your name start with the same letter as somebody else, lol. Don’t worry, now that I’ve realised it was you rather than Josie making dumb comments I’ve completely redirected my “damn noob didn’t get the point” feelings towards you.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
@ ‘Tsup J- ..
Funny. So you realize, right? Oh, I didn’t ignore you (you know I could never)..I simply made her re-read.She’s mad at me ’cause of you (among other things..)
@Metal: don’t fall asleep yet..I just answered you on the Facebook thing..
September 10th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Wow, nobody even noticed I was there, and attributed my comments to other people just for the hell of it. Cool. Fuck y’all.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
as a note friends, do not take a sleep aid before posting on cracked.
goodnight.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
See MJ I know a thing or two about metric, so if I asked for your WEIGHT you better answer in imperial, because I sure as hell did not ask you for your total MASS. A gram is a gram, even in space, where a pound is different depending on gravity. So if I wanted to know how heavy you were if I say needed to lift you, I need to know weight, depending on gravity, not silly measurements of mass.
But in truth I agree with you, metric is a much better system for most things. I still prefer farenhight to celcius tho.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
MJ..If you’d allow me one more..A. If I could put a smiley face after things, I would. (But I don’t yet know how).. & 2. I’m merely trying to pay you a compliment. And it wasn’t me talking about your weight in grams..that was someone else. Sorry to Lounsy for not guessing the gender correctly.. I’m not looking to annoy you MJ..but as you wish.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
@ Josie
You made a comment about how ridiculous it would be to give ones weight in grams and that is the comment I was responding to.
Lounsey is female and the tone of her comment was very different to yours.
Is it cumbersome not being able to tell the difference between a possessive pronoun and an abbreviation?
Congratulations on irritating yet another person on this website with your “wit”. I’ll be ignoring your posts from now on.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
@ MJ : Exhale..Oh, no..I get everything you’re saying. And you are indeed right..precisely, in fact. It was your precision and natural ability for mental numerical gymnastics I was commenting on, not the veritability? of the two systems. Lounsey thought your knack too was worth mentioning. After reading your reply to him..(and having witnessed briefly you’re writing) you can seemingly do both.
Is it cumbersome carrying around your brain in a wheelbarrow?
September 10th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
@ Lounsey
I do the grammar thing too. Remember what I said? “Best friends”
I think you need to join this Facebook group http://www.new.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2209553478 (It’s where all the cool kids hang out)
@Josie
Wow, you really missed the ENTIRE point of my post on metric vs imperial… Nobody gives body weight in grams and I never suggested that they did. I suggested that because the metric system allows the use of a decimal point we need to compare pounds to grams and not kilos (because when I say 57.8kg the .8 is actually 800grams and therefore the more accurate measurement of the two). I did say that this can be done with ounces as well but is ridiculously more complex.
If you don’t get it this time then the entire idea is wasted on you and I give up.
Who wants to go out for milkshakes?
September 10th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
@ Lounsey & MJ : I was just on my crossword puzzle forum and the on-going discussion there reminded me of the two of you..in short, crossworders vs. sudoku people. I’ll bet, if you do those kinds of puzzles, it would be Lounsey vs. MJ, respectively, or Verbal vs. Math..
September 10th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Thank you?
September 10th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
*giggle* DP-13: yeah..I followed you the whole way..funny you should explain it..but you may have put your foot in your mouth a bit..nice recovery..
September 10th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
@ greengoddess
I’m not saying hat my weight indicates my health. I am healthy, though very unfit.
All I was saying was that my wicked metabolism allows me to eat shit without putting on weight.
And while this may cause controversy, weight may not be an indication of health, but being overweight is not attractive to most, and I was just expressing my joy at being able to eat what I want without going that way.
@MJ
That was a long and very gracefully made point! Everybody is pedantic about certain things, and I think systems of measurement are a very geeky (and totally awesome) thing to be pedantic about. For me, it’s grammar… your/you’re etc.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Josie, I was kind of running off of how I called sprinkles jimmies in my first post, then J-Pappi informed me that jimmies were dicks.
In reality I have no idea what a “jimmy” tastes like, and have no ambition to find out.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Why does it matter what people weigh? It’s not a number that indicates health or even someone’s actual size.
I got crazy fat when I had a baby and discovered that fat greengoddess is just as awesome and delicious as thin greengoddess.
I didn’t diet either. I just ate less food and excercised more.
Now I just punch Oasis in the face.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Oops, I meant MJ, not Lounsey.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:16 am
MJ-89, that’s all wonderful, but how much do you weigh? I’m sorry, but if I ask some chick and she says 1354 grams I’m not the slightest fucking bit closer to knowing than I was before. All I would know then is that she weighs as much as a shitload of cocaine.
So, Lounsey’s 5′9 and a felony’s worth of blow. Is that skinny or fat?
September 10th, 2008 at 9:57 am
No, it’s illogical either way. It’s just familiar if you grew up using it. There’s a big difference. But whatever, goodnight.
September 10th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Alrighty then, MJ. You’re passion for numerical systems duly noted. The imperial is only illogical if you didn’t grow up knowing it. And we use a little metrics..but mostly volume-related (engines, soda, IV drips.)
September 10th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Actually Metal, because kilos is metric you can give measurements in it using decimal points or even just convert it to grams extremely easily. Like you said, it takes an actual calculation to convert pounds to ounces whereas with kilos/grams it just doesn’t (You just have to see the number and know to add three zeros). 1.25 kilos is 1250 grams, couldn’t get much easier than that. As for pounds being more accurate that’s only applicable when comparing them to kilos but really you should be comparing them to grams because once you add decimal places that’s what you’re really measuring in. 1 pound is equal to 454 grams (or 0.454 kilos). If I gave you my weight in kilos to just one decimal place it’s already more accurate than giving my weight in pounds and the only way to fix this is to bother to convert to ounces which is complex.
In short it’s not only a lot more confusing to convert between different measurements in the same damn system (seriously, 1 to 14 to 16, what were they thinking???) but it’s LESS accurate.
There’s a very good reason that basically the whole world uses the metric system, don’t be fooled!
The only good reason I can think of that we still use feet to measure height (in most cases) is that metres aren’t accurate enough for human height but centimetres are too accurate. Feet are just the right size to give a general idea of somebody’s height. We don’t really use imperial for anything other than height here… Except when comparing penis size.
And yeah… I know that I’m ranting again but hey, you asked
September 10th, 2008 at 8:40 am
whats wround with the foot/pound system? Sure it gets confusing as hell when trying to convert between measurements (pounds-ounces ect) but with pounds being smaller than kilos it seems like it would be easier to give a more exact weight.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:10 am
gives = guys in the first sentence of my last post. EDIT FUNCTION PLZ.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Josie,
I know America doesn’t use the metric system. I’ve given up hope you gives will ever get with the times and ditch the illogical crap that is the imperial system. That question was aimed at Lounsey who is from Ireland.
Gladstone,
I highly respect your lack of “diet” as such. I myself have always considered them to be a complete waste of time and have always gone with the eat healthy approach, myself. I’d put on 8 kilos in the first year after leaving highschool (making me 63kg, gross) and I have lost 6 of those kilos since Feb doing nothing but NOT eating fastfood for lunch. Although I still can’t get a flat tummy… I think my body just doesn’t want me to be happy. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked: Good on you for getting healthy rather than giving into the demons that are dieting!
September 10th, 2008 at 7:09 am
@Metal,
Rear end weight merely approximated.
@MJ,
I didn’t really ever go on a diet. I just stopped eating like crap and started exercising. And yes, still doing that.
Weighed myself again this morning. Now down 13 pounds from that vid. About 9 pounds away from the promised land. My posterior looks sensational.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:59 am
I apologize for the triple post, but DP..how would you know what they taste like?
September 10th, 2008 at 5:58 am
DP13..well, if you’re going to put it THAT way..perhaps I’d reconsider (Sorry..didn’t mean to offend your delicate palate by calling your “treat” gross) Whateva blows your skirt up, sweetie..
September 10th, 2008 at 5:53 am
MJ: We do have Mars bars here..apparently just not everywhere. And we do NOT use the metric system..and we do not have a local Fish and Chip shop that sells deep fried candy bars. Wow, you’re lucky.
In my part of the world, one can go to any local Korean mart and get spam musubi (spam, rolled in white, sticky rice and wrapped in seaweed.) Hugely popular.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:53 am
“Buteer” should be butter. I’m an idiot.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:52 am
Hey, josie, don’t say marshmallows and peanut buteer covered in penises is disgusting until you’ve tasted it’s glory.
I don’t call them Jimmies. My parents do, but every time they say it, I inform them that they’re called sprinkles here in America.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:36 am
So if Mars Bars are called Milky Ways in America then what the hell do you call Milky Ways?! Jesus Christ, you people confuse me!
Lounsey, I also have a really fast metabolism so I hear you on that one and how awesome it is. (I’m 5′9″ and weigh about 57kg and eat like a pig)
That said I’m not really into deep fried stuff all that much, I just eat often… some would say constantly. Probably why I have such a fast metabolism, in retrospect. I’m considering buying a deep fried Mars Bar this weekend. Oh that’s a definite ‘buy’; I’m too lazy to try and cook one myself when I can just run down to the Fish and Chip shop
My real concern is why you gave your weight in pounds (which I’ve discovered is like 40kg zomg you’re tiny?! I’m guessing your shorter than me…) but surely you guys use the metric system there? And yes I know I gave my height in imperial but that’s totally normal, nobody measures height in metres, it’s dumb!
Gladstone, are you still dieting? I thought you stopped but earlier you were talking about how much more you had to go. I’m confused. Please don’t confuse me, Gladstone. I thought we were friends!
September 10th, 2008 at 3:49 am
So “rollin’ in jimmies” threw me a bit. Thanks fer edumacating me. I’m guessing we hang with different crowds. Jimmy Hat would be a great name for a band, or maybe brie baked in croissant dough.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:52 am
It’s a dick, Josie; and that’s not just down south. “Jimmy hat” is a rubber. Is there anyone from outside the northeast that can second me on all this? In fact, I’ve seen a couple of cop movies where it meant that even in the northeast. The world is not all ice cream and sprinkles.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Why thank you, DP13! I certainly like to think so!
September 10th, 2008 at 12:29 am
Jimmies is so Northeast. And bubbler (water fountain) and packy (liquor store.)
Thanks chef..for going through all that. It beats the Cheez Whiz recipes and that gross marshmallow/peanut butter concoction. (Bunch ‘o stoners..)
What’s a jimmy down South? I’m having trouble conjuring the possibilities.
G stone..bit of writer’s butt, eh?
September 9th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Yo, my man, where I’m from a Jimmy is way different from a sprinkle. You might wanna check that out again. Rollin’ in Jimmies is what DOB’s sister probably does, being from Jersey and all. No offense, DOB; I’m just sayin’…
September 9th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
I find that it is easier for breadcrumbs to stay on deep-fried anything if you put your bree, or fish, or mars bar through flour first, then eggs, then breadcrumbs. The egg sticks much better, and consequently the breadcrumbs do as well.
And croûte is just a fancy word for a crust. You can do it with any bread dough, but it tastes unbelievable with croissant dough. Just stretch the dough, put the brie in the middle, pinch it on the top with a little egg dab of egg yolk. I recommend turning the brie over so the pinch is on the bottom and doesn’t open up, and brushing the topside of your crust with a little egg yolk to get a nice golden brown. 400°F for 15 minutes.
God I miss my old job sometimes. Cooking at home is just not the same.
September 9th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
did you weigh your ass on its own? How does one weigh ass weight? I must know.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Let me just stress again that i’m 12 pounds lighter now and that weight was a short-lived time in my troubled life. Also 7 of those pounds came from ass.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
J-Pappi, I’ve lived in 2 out of 3 of those, so good work.
On the topic you mentioned about mixing foods together, try this: Marshmallows, dipped in peanut butter, and then rolled in sprinkles (or jimmies, depending on where you’re from.)
September 9th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I went to the YouTube and Fat Blog links. I didn’t have a Mars bar, but I had a 3 Musketeers, so I ate that (unfried) while watching and reading. If that’s what y’all call fat, you have never been to a family reunion in the American South.
Plus, Gladstone’s hotness has nothing to do with his weight.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Sometime in the future, Raine is going to realize you made him say you’re fucking his mom. And he’s going to hate you.
And that’ll be awesome.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Where am I? Um..awesome job Gladstone. You don’t look fat.
A question for the chef (pingollum): what do you do with the brie? Cro^ute? (I can’t the little thing on top.)
September 9th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Damn, now I’m in the mood for cheez whiz and I haven’t had it in about 10 years. Lounsey, it’s one of those cool things that when you’re high you just grab all different kinds of foods and spray some on just to see how it combines.
DP: New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, same difference. Just don’t go revealing my identity; I’ll get some of my homies from the Nuestra su Familia on the case.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
The synthetic cheese doesn’t seem that appealing so I think I’m safe on that front.
…and trust me, when I deep fry it is crisp and beautiful… dip the pieces of brie in a beaten egg and roll it in breadcrumbs and then in the egg again and the breadcrumbs again. If you don’t have a deep fat fryer, frying them in butter on a pan works well, but butter burns fast on a pan so take care.
My mum constantly tells me that my diet will catch up with me eventually… I’ll worry about it when it happens, in the mean time I will deep fry my chocolate cake and cover it in Cheese Whiz should my little heart desire it.
September 9th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I admit deep-frying is great when done correctly… it’s just that I’ve just tasted two many awful, soggy, oil-dripping foods to concur in a general sort of way. But anything involving brie is great, I am now very curious as to what a brie tempura might taste like.
However, I must warn you, keep your mince 90 lb derrière far away from that synthetic cheese.
September 9th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
That sounds horrible… So is it some sort of cheese that comes out of a can like whipped cream in a can?
I’m gonna go google it now (goes to google….). Oh, it just looks like Nacho Cheese stuff… I can’t imagine getting excited about that unless I was drunk.
@glendoor42: your huge excitement over synthetic cheeses is troubling…what other strange fetishes you must posess I don’t want to think on too long… but I will…
September 9th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Wow, it’s a good thing I’m neither from Casnada nor New Jersey, J-Pappi, or I’d have to worry.
September 9th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Bacon flavor cheez whiz? What the hell, man?
September 9th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Cheese Whiz is a “sort of” cheese that you spray out of a can and IT KICKS ASS, PATICULARLY THE BACON FLAVOR!!!! Sorry didn’t mean to yell, I just get really excited about CHEESE WHIZ !!!
September 9th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Well thanks metal.
I did wear a deliberately dorky sweatshirt.
September 9th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I think instead of mars bars you guys call them milky ways!
Brie is a type of cheese, it is delicious!
Thanks Kingmonkey for clearing that up, I now feel absolutely no guilt and will spend the evening finding things to deep fry in batter/ breadcrumbs from around my house (I’ll start with the edible stuff and see where it goes from there).
Gladstone does look great now, but I don’t think he looks bad in the Travel Pillow video, just a little more cuddly.
I don’t know what Cheeze Whiz is?
Also, we don’t have twinkies in Ireland, and I don’t think they’d stand up well to postage.
September 9th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Gladstone, I just thought it was interesting how different you looked with a few extra pounds. Instead of looking like a smooth, sexy reporter, you looked like an awkward and kinda dorky college student. I guess the sweat shirt and glasses didn’t help. You deffinately look fantastic now tho.
I have no idea what bree/brie is. And cheez whiz is satan.
What is the american equivalant of a mars bar? Do we have them here?
September 9th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Personally, I’ll just stick to my grilled cheese sandwiches using Canadian applewood smoked cheddar, and rye bread.
On a related note of horror, can you believe people eat Cheez Whiz?
And Lounsey, you’re wrong about the cholesterol. Only fat people are unhealthy.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Deep fried brie is fantastic. And luckily I don’t suffer what mere mortals refer to as “guilt” over food.
I weigh like 90 pounds and have a wicked metabolism (yes I realise that I am eqivocating and yes I know skinny people can have high cholesterol)
But I will try your fancy other brie idea…if it involves brie then I’m in… anybody else who wants to throw a brie related recipe into the mix should do so now.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:03 am
DEEP-FRY bree?!? Lounsey, you’ve made me crap my chef pants in gastronomical terror.
It’s best to croûte bree with a bit of leftover croissant dough and stick in a 400°F oven for 15 minutes. A lot healthier and much more delicious (no bitter aftertaste of guilt, that’s why), Gladstone, take my culinary word on this.
On the other hand, if you must deep-fry anything, Lounsey is right: the deep fat fryer is a must; lest using a pot and inadequate utensils turn you into the epicurean equivalent of Harvey Dent/Two Face.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:11 am
And you have yet to try said recepie Gladstone. Like a coward. For a brave internet comedian you sure are one cowardly goon.
I would post one to you, but it’s the soft gooey warmness that’s the best part (I could just send it to Wayne Gladstone, That Massive Internet Celebrity, Maine, USA).
MJ, if you would like the recepie I shall send it to you on facebook. And if you don’t have a deep fat fryer:
a) you should totally get one (cause you can deep frie Brie and also make parsnip potato chips…mmmm), and
b) you can just use a pot filled with oil, but that is more dangerous and the temperature is harder to gauge.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Aw thanks Lounsey. And btw, MJ it was right around the time I started running and eating better than Lounsey sent me a mars bar recipe. For a lovely girl she sure is one evil crazy mofo.
And metal, this is the post I was referring to. http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/03/03/youtube-contest-brings-crushing-reality-to-delusional-blogger/
September 9th, 2008 at 6:06 am
You know, I’ve never actually had a deep fried Mars Bar before. People tend to think that’s sacrilegious… Are they really that good?
September 9th, 2008 at 5:52 am
“I’m a big Internet celebrity” and hitting Johnny with the rock were both brilliant. Best HBN ever.
(And I thought of Rove McManus when you said “say ‘hi’ to your mum for me” too, though I realised it probably wasn’t a reference as you almost certainly don’t watch Australian television)
September 9th, 2008 at 5:14 am
I think you’re lovely no matter what you weigh gladstone… here, have a deep fried mars bar (on an unrelated to hbn note: my Dad bought me a deep fat fryer at the weekend)
September 9th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Spooky McSpacerocks!
September 8th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Hey Metal,
Yes that clip is me at my absolutel fattest. I blogged about how fat i was in that vid and then went on a health kick and gave weight updates on the blog. I’m 12 pounds lighter than that now. I have about ten to go. fifteent to go back to work as a calvin klein underwear model.
i was never really that fat. i was that weight for like six weeks before i saw myself on camera and freaked out.
September 8th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
For everyone else: by here I mean Australia
September 8th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Hey Gladstone - Rove McManus is a comedian here with his own tv show. At the end of every episode he says ‘I’m Rove McManus, say hi to your Mum for me’
Its funny how on both of your HBN posts for this week, the first comments were about Rove.
September 8th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Kingmonkey and DP13, fuck both of you; we’ll see come Oct. 13 when I get my day in court. I WILL PROVE one day whether Mexicans taste better grilled with dry rub or vinegar-based sauce. Don’t stand in my way; I’ll test the maple syrup theory on Casnadiens and the marinara sauce theory on New Jerseyites.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Oh and please do not introduce these kids to Eve 6.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I’m sure children all over your neighborhood can’t wait to play with “Uncle Gladstone.” Or their moms.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Congratulations, Neil. You’re a total dick.
September 8th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I want to find one of those psychic kids and and say, “ok if you’re so psychic, what am i thinking right now?” And then as soon as they start to say something and go “BAM!” and punch them in the face and say, “bet you didn’t see that coming … bitch.”
September 8th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
G-Stone, that was fuckin’ awesome
September 8th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
YES! I’m not the only one that hatez this show~!
September 8th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
gladstone that was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. thank you for making me laugh out loud.
unrelatedly I was watching some vids of you from a while back, and you were a tubby little fellow. You look superb now however.
fat Gladstone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlWPQTd50Wk
September 8th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
That kid was askin’ for it.
September 8th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Best… HBN… ever. (I’m even willing to overlook hitting the kid with a rock, this episode was so good).
September 8th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Spooky McSpace Rocks with the Pink Shoes! Classic. I’m totally stealing it and naming a webcomic character that. Also, those neighbor kids should get their own spinoff. I don’t know what they would do but it would be cute as hell.
September 8th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
That gay psychic with the funny name can never hold a candle to John Waters who is a genius and a Baltimorean like myself!
September 8th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Yet every time I do I’m ‘disturbed.’
September 8th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Every time Gladstone harms a child, an angel gets its wings.
September 8th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
*aran-esque (damn typos)
September 8th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Really rockin the aran-esqu scarf. Keep up that style and I’ll be posting you a jumper!
September 8th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Oh God no…Gladstone, that was you?! I had always supposed, after the lingering of booze-scent in the air and the internet-celebrity-inspired megalomaniacal outbursts, that it had DOB or Swaime. I expected better from the likes of you.
Although, I suppose they can argue that you shouldn’t even be allowed near children after the Baby Grace incident.
September 8th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Although the guy is wearing a scarf I think I like him better then that main guy on paranormal state
September 8th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I’m sorry I said you weren’t funny, Gladstone. Hitting Johnny with a rock, and the part with the village people actually made me laugh.
September 8th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
hey gladstone, I cant get the vid to play. Is it by chance on youtube?
September 8th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I like to use random words and phrases I see around the place as nicknames for my friend Jeff. He’s had many names and he never knows where I get them from. I think it’s time to stop calling him Jeffrey Noodle and time to start calling him Spooky McSpacerocks.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Number 4 was my favorite. This whole HBN was so much fun. Or maybe it’s because I watched this right after partaking of the sacrament. Gladstone, I am developing deep and special feelings for you.
Kingmonkey, you’re killin’ me!
And way to rock the scarf, G-stone.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Havent been able to watch the video yet since I am in school and the computers are without sound. And Kingmonkey, If G-Stone is willing to travel all the way to Casnadia to psychically sex up your mother, then he probably deserves it.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
The neighbours ones, that is. Not the psychic ones, who should be put into foster care with Derren Brown.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
The children are naturals.
September 8th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I cannot fault the network that gave us Intervention, Gladstone Knight & the Pips. Because I once saw a lady drink entire bottles of Listerine until she stumbled over onto the floor. And, if only for a moment, my faith in humanity was restored.
September 8th, 2008 at 10:56 am
You’re scarf looks like it was knitted out of those childrens broken hopes and dreams
September 8th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Gladstone, your constant brutalising and maltreatment of children never ceases to amuse me.
I too discovered I had super powers- er, psychic powers when I was a teenager. I could sense when people were uncomfortable around me, wanted to get away, or had no idea what I was on about. It was a potent gift. I could hear faint laughter when I would pass a group of people, but when I turned to glare reproachfully at them, no one was laughing! I would often hear Gladstone’s voice, in my mom’s bedroom while my dad was away on business trips, but in the morning, she would deny he was ever there, and chastise me for using a name I wouldn’t even learn for another ten or so years! I wish I had a sexually ambiguous, scarfed mentor to guide me through those years with tender concern, and exploitative love.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Frankly I don’t know what the hell this article is about because I was foolish enough to be born British and bred to hate precocious American kids (I hope you’re ready to apologise for Haley Joel Osment).
But I admire your crafty word skills. I too had strange adolescent feelings I couldn’t understand, but it turns out it was the sheer power of Gillian Anderson on my fragile teenage mind.
Oh yes, I too join the leagues of women who totally would in a “day-AM yes” kind of way.
Which nicely ties in with the paranormal. Or it could just be a cheap attempt to divert your attention while I steal your car.
Yes.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I don’t know who Rove McManus is?
Australian, English, Irish? I’m guessing one of the above as MJ and Lounsey know him.
Away to Google!
September 8th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Ah, A&E…how lowly you’ve sunk…
It’s no wonder Mrs. Gladstone hasn’t had any kids yet, as she probably fears their inevitable exploitation.
September 8th, 2008 at 9:08 am
spooky mcspace rocks was hilarious. great hbn, you should clip kids with rocks more often in this thing. but…my grandmother really wants her scarf back, she’s old and you know how cold the elderly get.
September 8th, 2008 at 8:47 am
I agree with you MJ, I really like the name Raine. I think it may be in the running to replace Jonah as one of “crazy-sarah’s-names-for-children-she-hasn’t-conceived-yet”
September 8th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Oh and I’ve decided to let hippies name my children now. Raine and Stella Moon are possibly the coolest names going around.
September 8th, 2008 at 8:41 am
“I’m a big internet celebrity” I think I scared my mum I laughed so loudly at that. Awesome HBN this week, G-Stone, awesome.
Those kids are adorable. Can I keep them?
However you did remind me of Rove McManus with the “say hi to your mum for me” bit at the end.