Premature Ejaculation Daredevil: Why Super Senses Would Suck
Daredevil got his start as a superhero the way many children do: He was hit by a radioactive truck. It replaced his eyesight with radar and gave him the ability to smell, hear and feel harder than any man alive. These things all helped him grow up to become a ninja and start a law firm. He's a complicated character, perfect for readers looking for more maturity in their graphic literature. And since I've always considered myself to be a writer of graphic maturity, I thought I'd see what I could bring to the Daredevil universe. I give you... Premature Ejaculation Daredevil.
Ooooookaaayyyy.... Was this supposed to be funny?
Replydespite this being some of seanbaby's worst work, it is still worth reading, and just as funny as anything else on cracked (besides seanbaby's greatest)
Got to get to a handrail!
Reply"You look like my fifth wife during an ice-cream cake" may have been the best line your god-like fingers have ever typed out, SB.
ReplyOkay, totally not fair. I'm stuck at home (third day) with a godawful flu that struck down my entire office, hacking up my lungs and trying not to throw up, and DareDevil vs. Stilt Man just about killed me.
ReplyDo you know how hard it is to laugh without ejecting a lung onto my keyboard, here??
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ReplyUh, critters that do have "Super-senses" aren't overwhelmed by them.
ReplyLike my CAT who can ignore it like it's nothing when I play loud music -BUT- still during that have her ears twitch and she hears a tiny insect scuttling across the floor and kills it...
Yep, because a creature that was overwhelmed by their senses to a deleterious effect would have trouble reproducing and have been selected against after generations of evolution. But a mutation that just appeared - like Daredevil's - hasn't gone through this process. It's not that reasonable to assume that his brain mutated perfectly at the same time as all his senses.
Brain patterns are known to change in response to changes in an organism - for instance, if part of a brain is malfunctioning the other parts can change functions to make up for it - but handling this much of a change seems unlikely.
Also, Seanbaby said that Daredevil would be constantly ejaculating, and I believe Seanbaby. Have you seen that face? Trustworthy.
tl;dr
ReplySeanbaby, you truly are the funniest man on Cracked.
ReplyI must tick 'yes' every time.
ReplyOnly article I've ever read more than once. Really good.
Reply"Approachers! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
ReplyI thought I was going to die laughing.
Of all the juvinile, mindless, one note jokes you have ever used, SeanBaby, this is the worst offender of all.
ReplyI almost threw up from laughing so hard.
Never gets old.
ReplyI rofled so much
ReplyI just happened to be reading this while listening to Jizz in my Pants by The Lonely Island. lol
ReplyThis was amazing.
ReplySometimes the phobia of Premature Ejaculation causes it.So its better to be your own without thinking too much on performance.
ReplyRead up on the issue, haven't you?
i don't believe you
OMFG "With my enhanced senses, I can hear two cops down there arguing whether or not there's a police code for a man in tights smashing his dick against a robot." made me lmfao!
ReplyGod, I love Popsicle Pete. :D
ReplyRLLY RLLY FUNNY i was laughion my ass off i even waked my parents and they told me to STFU LOL
Reply