Cracked Columnists

Plungers, Germans and The Simpsons Already Did It: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The DayGuy Hurls Plungers At Peoples' Backs

I'd like to start off the week by saying that I really like the name of this YouTube video. It takes a sort of no-frills approach to telling you exactly what it is: a video of a guy hurling plungers at peoples' backs. I also like the ridiculous number of plungers spread out across the stage, the fact that half the plungers don't even stick to the guys' backs, and the backflip and splits the guy does at the end.

Come to think of it, the actual hurling of plungers might be the least noteworthy thing about this video. What about how all of these shirtless guys are wearing helmets? Or the fact that this guy is clearly on some sort of televised talent show, and his special talent is HURLING PLUNGERS?! How do you come to realize that's something you're good at in the first place? How do you practice when you DO figure it out? Is it a blessing or a burden? Does it translate into any sort of vaguely marketable skill, and if not, do you tell the people at your crappy day job about your hobby?

I remember reading somewhere that defeat in World War II messed up Germany's national psyche pretty bad (hence all the scat videos and weird Halloween costumes), and I'm wondering if this is somehow related. But I have basically no reference point here - I live in America, and everybody who ends up on television here is incredibly talented.


Wildcard!Art Imitates Life

Everyone knows that The Simpsons have been on TV for like a bazillion years and have produced approximately sixty gazillion episodes. It's also a well-known fact that the Simpsons have done pretty much everything there is to do (as parodied in the "Simpsons Already Did It" episode of South Park), but that was always just sort of a joke, something that people said to emphasize how long the show has been on. Try telling that to Ricky Labit and Michael Borrelli, who were recently banned from a local buffet for eating too much.

I have no problem with Simpsons plots actually occurring in real life, personally. It will make the world a funnier place to live, right? It will also make for new and wonderful quotes to marvel at:

Labit and Borrelli said they felt discriminated against because of their size. "I was stunned, that somebody would say something like that. I ain't that fat, I only weigh 277," Borrelli said, adding that a waitress told him he looked like he a had a "baby in the belly."

Yeesh.

The article goes on to explain that the two men were banned because they "made a habit of dining exclusively on the more expensive seafood dishes, including crab legs and frog legs." Now I feel conflicted: I can't tell if this is hilarious or the saddest thing of all time. It'd be like if the real-life NASA sent an idiot into outer space1 and his gross negligence caused the shuttle to explode, or if a real-life city built a monorail.

1 I would just like to point out how amazing it is that The Simpsons sent a main character into outer space during their fifth season in 1994 and continued not only to be on the air, but somehow managed to stay funny and relevant for a while, too. Usually outer space means the end of a franchise (although I would argue that Leprechaun 4: In Space was every bit as thought-provoking as the first three).

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Ross Wolinsky

  • Rss

More by Ross Wolinsky:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

7 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!