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Paris Hilton Banned From Oktoberfest for “Cheapening” Two Week-Long Kegger

paris The board of directors of the Munich Oktoberfest have decided to ban everyone’s favorite lazy-eyed mogul from attending this year, because apparently during her visit last year she “displayed behavior unbefitting a drunk, selfish, promiscuous, functionally retarded socialite.” Okay, that may not be a direct translation, but German’s a tricky language.

The point is, what do you have to do to get kicked out of a beer festival? That’s like the asshole at a frat party who just finished his eleventh game of beer pong, hurled all over a girl, then proceeded to make out with her, is asking you to leave because you’re bothering everyone

So what did Paris do? Did she strip naked and befoul all the bratwurst? Did she make an unflattering comment about this year’s Miss Beer Gut? Did she read this poem about her aloud? No. She dressed up in lederhosen and tried to shill her own brand of canned wine. At a beer festival. In Germany. Celebrating fine beers. Paris Hilton brand canned wine.

I know they’ve got a shady record, but honestly, haven’t the Germans suffered enough?

Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 10:49 pm and is filed under Celebrity News, Paris Hilton. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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9 Responses to “Paris Hilton Banned From Oktoberfest for “Cheapening” Two Week-Long Kegger”

  1. Max Says:

    Man, even the Germans think Paris is a whore.

    That says a fucking lot.

  2. Swaimfan Says:

    Day 1: Still going well so far. Suggestions that I abandon the “Day X” format are growing more persistent among the camp. I think their point is valid, but I can’t have the men think that they are in charge of this expedition. No, I must hold fast and remind everyone who’s the captain.

  3. Darkmage Says:

    It’s amusing that Ross Vaughn down there can draw parallels between mass genocide and a long running beer festival not wanting some tramp selling wine. Cos I certainly cant.
    I cant see the relevance to the subject matter but what I can see is that he obviously has a small penis. You see the way he said “gee” at the beginning and the unnecessary CAPS at the end? Definitely has a small penis.
    Vaughn, just cos you have a small penis is no reason to spew your ass-gravy all over the comments.

    Also, that poem linked above is scary! He has night vision goggles for sure!!

  4. Jeneviefe Says:

    Elle lis,cette est un milacle

  5. Gladstone Says:

    50,000?

    Six Million.

  6. ROSS VAUGHN Says:

    Gee, isn’t it amazing that the counrty that killed 50,000 Jews and brought us celebrities like Adolph Hitler would think that Paris Hilton is unfit for Oktoberfest? YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!!!

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  8. Ross Says:

    Very fitting, after all, Germany invaded Paris in 1940.

    Hmm….Paris Hilton in Germany…Germany invading Paris…

    Soo…much…smutty….joke….material….can’t….COMPUTE!

  9. FollicleMan Says:

    I dunno. Paris invading Germany? Seems like a pretty fitting comeuppance.

Cracked stuff on