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Old Robots Vs. New Robots and Energy Air in a Can: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The DayElektro: The Smoking Robot

Robots are everywhere these days: assembling our cars, detonating our landmines, and freaking out our cats. They're simplifying our lives in new ways all the time, taking over tasks that we'd rather not do ourselves, and while that's great news for those of us that are too lazy to freak out our own cats, let's face it: despite their functionality, today's robots are a total snoozefest.

It was a different story back in 1939, when Westinghouse premiered Elektro at the New York World's Fair. Weighing in at 265 pounds, Elektro "spoke" off of pre-recorded 78 rpm records, had "eyes" that could distinguish between red and green light, and could walk on command. He also smoked cigarettes and knew a handful of terrible pick-up lines.

Today's robot manufacturers could learn a few things from Elektro. Why can't they make a Roomba that'll hit on my girlfriend, or smoke cigarettes, or do anything cooler than SWEEP MY FLOOR? You'd think between the advances in technology and decline in morality that we would've come up with a really awesome robot by now, one that can kick ass, talk trash, cook food and literally shit out awesome new next-gen video game consoles. Instead we've got Roomba, the magical plastic disc that can sweep your floor. If Isaac Asimov were alive today, I'm not sure if he'd be bummed out or relieved. Although I've never actually read any of his books, so I guess that makes sense.


Unlock The Awesome Power Of Oxygen

I'm not a professional athlete, but if I was, you'd better believe I'd have a case of Bix Ox Canned Oxygen within arm's reach at all times. I'm currently getting more than enough oxygen to sustain my completely sedentary lifestyle, but it's good to know that there's a product available to give me a boost if I need one. Which I don't.

According to their website:

"Today's on-the-go people enhance their diets with vitamins and all-natural food supplements. They drink pure water and energy drinks to improve their vitality. So why not enhance the fuel our bodies need most frequently?"

Good point, Big Ox, but I think you're needlessly limiting your demographic by only marketing it toward people with healthy, active lifestyles. While I'm sure people who want to be at their "peak performance" in a "high-energy environment" are ready to open their wallets up for a chance to breathe 89% pure oxygen, I can think of another group of people who would probably be equally interested:

Teenage stoners. They'll inhale pretty much anything.

(both of today's links were shamelessly filched from metafilter)

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Ross Wolinsky

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