The 5 Most Incredibly Detailed Replicas Ever Made by Fans The 4 Most Underrated Feelings in the World 5 Reasons Why Donald Trump Is the Biggest Troll Alive
Cracked Columnists

Nothing Says David Bowie Like Discount Prices

So Target has released a new clothing line for young men inspired by David Bowie. Why? Because Wal-Mart was so successful selling Rod Stewart-influenced kitchen utensils, I guess. Actually, I'm not sure. Most young men today think of David Bowie merely as the dude whose name Avril Lavigne couldn't pronounce.

Nevertheless, as an ardent Bowie fan, I thought I'd take a look to see how Target did:

This first ensemble is clearly inspired by Bowie's mid 70's fixation with German fascism. I think that's a great place to start. I mean, all the kids want to dress like war criminals today, and now Target has made it affordable. Congratulations Target. You nailed The Thin White Duke:

Okay. On to number two. The same black pants, but now featuring a gray velour V-necked shirt. That's tricky. Yes, the look is vaguely gay, but I was hoping to define the Bowie period a little more specifically. I'm going to have to go with 1972? But c'mon Target. If you want to sell this as Bowie, you really can't skimp on the Bedazzler. And would it kill you to incorporate some red pleather boots?

 

 

 

Now, this last one had me stumped:

As hard as I tried, I just couldn't remember a period in David Bowie's career that fit this look: folkie, glam rock, plastic soul, electronic minimalism, pure pop? When exactly did David Bowie look like a high school mall rat? Oh right! I forgot about Bowie's brief stint as a GAP commercial model:

Well, done Target. Well done.

  • Random

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Gladstone

  • Rss

More by Gladstone:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

32 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!