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Nigerians Knows A Good Business Model When They See One: The Friday Nooner (EST)!

Evil Altar Trailer (Nigerian Movie)

I think I understand how Nigerian email scams work: If you send out enough emails promising enormous fortunes to anyone with an American bank account, eventually someone is going to fall for it, you're going to make a little profit, and this in turn will allow you to invest even more money into annoying the living shit out of every single person who uses the internet. Seems simple enough, right?

Enter the the Nigerian film industry, which, thanks in part to cheap video technology, has grown in recent years to become the third largest in the world behind the USA and India, and is known primarily for putting out a prodigious amount of horrible, low-budget films. I'll admit that a lot of these movies don't look so hot, but Evil Altar might be a mind-blowingly amazing exception to the rule. (Not to mention King Of My Village and Baby Police 2.) Although a lot of the words in this trailer sound like gibberish to me, I did manage to take this much away:

"Every fourteen years, this shrine must receive human head. If not, the oracle go vex and men and women gon' die mysteriously."

That's great and everything, but I don't see what's so "mysterious" about the men and women dying. I haven't even seen this movie yet, but it's still pretty obvious that they're dying because the shrine hasn't received human head. Oh - and the oracle has gone vex. It's not exactly rocket science.

This movie looks totally sweet, but most of the others really do look like complete & utter garbage. Can somebody please explain to me how Nigeria has built a multi-billion dollar film industry with this crap? There can't possibly be that many people buying these movies, right? It just doesn't make sense!

Oh well - it's probably best not to ponder these unanswerable questions. As for me, I'm out - I'm gonna go order my copy of Evil Altar at izognmovies.com! They make ordering a breeze - all you need to do is fill in your name, address, social security number and all of your personal financial information.

This is gonna be awesome!

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Ross Wolinsky

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