In a move straight out of Science Fiction, environmentalist scientists in the Norwegian government have built an immense underground “Doomsday Vault” inside a frozen mountain on a remote island as a bulwark against the inevitable nuclear apocalypse.
But rather than hunkering down in said vault with porno mags, cans of beans, and the complete Lost on DVD, the Norwegians are doing something even crazier: filling it with seeds. And trust me, it’s way less arousing than it sounds.
Scientists have collected, frozen, and entombed more than 2 billion seeds from millions of plant species, hoping that in the case of a War Games scenario, the vault can be opened and provide humanity with instant food. Well, “instant” give or take a few seasons of cultivating fallow, irradiated soil with no tools while trying to fend off hordes of shambling mutants.
It’s kind of like the Veggie Tales version of Noah’s Ark, except with more seeds and without being a laughable superstition. No, you know what it’s like? It’s like Titan A.E. What? No one saw Titan A.E.? Okay, moving on.
This is a failure. Not in planning or engineering, but in imagination. You’ve got the world’s biggest time capsule, and you’re going to fill it with seeds? Seeds? Come off it Norway. I can think of ten things off the top of my head that would better occupy a Doomsday Vault. And here they are.
Who, you ask, is Umberto Billo? He’s an ex-porter at a Venetian hotel who was recently fired for being “too exhausted to carry customers’ luggage.” Why the exhaustion? Because he was busy bedding 8,000 women over the course of three years. If there was ever a man fit to repopulate the Earth, it’s this guy. Just throw him, Gene Simmons, and Wilt Chamberlain’s corpse in there and bring on the nukes.
I’m not saying it’d be particularly useful, but it sure is meta, and Jesus what a mind-fuck. I mean, what’s inside that vault? Another, even tinier vault? Dare we find out?
In the Fallout games there’s a thing called the Garden of Eden Creation Kit, which does exactly what the name promises. Don’t you think maybe instead of focusing our scientists’ efforts on harvesting seeds, we should be investing some time in perfecting this fairly straightforward instant Eden technology? I mean, the design’s already there, they just need to build the thing! Now I’m not an idiot; I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I’m just saying, let’s ask Batman about it. That guy has the hook up.
Sure it won’t save anyone, but at least in thousands of years when aliens find our planet charred and lifeless, our bleached skulls half-buried by dust and worn smooth by wind and time, they can look at all the shit in the vault and not feel so bad about it.
The Norwegians claim the seeds in the vault are primarily intended to help repopulate crop species that go extinct. Fuck. That. What about the animals, man? You ever think of them? What, there’s not enough room in your precious vault for some frozen Blue Whale sperm? Maybe some Koala eggs? My guess is the pasty-white Norwegians are just too pussified to harvest the stuff. Hey, Norway: I’m always available, and I’ve never been afraid of getting my hands dirty. Hands, mouth, upper thigh; it’s all cool.
In the post-apocalyptic wasteland to come, only the strong will survive, and it’s our duty to help push natural selection forward, providing only the most robust, aggressive humans the opportunity to perpetuate the species. Imagine the scene: the survivors have trudged for miles across the Ashen Sea, leaving their dead where they fall, wondering idly when they’ll be forced to turn to cannibalism. Suddenly, they come upon the open vault. The guy that gets to that cheeseburger? He’s our man.
Let’s face facts: if the nukes have gone off, or the tides risen and crops failed, or the supervolcano erupted, or the monkeys rebelled, there’s not a high probability anyone’s going to make it out alive. So we might as well guarantee the last few a good time, right? I mean hell, WWJD?
Because nothing eases the life of an apocalypse survivor like some post-apocalyptic existential fiction on the nature of human evil. Mmmm, them’s good reads.
Kind of a no-brainer, guys.
All I need’s my wireless internet, a few cases of Top Ramen, a handle of Vodka, and a toilet and/or coffee can and I’m good to go. So long cruel world, hello eternity of solemn contemplation, furious masturbation, and constant inebriation.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes doom-prophesying videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Environmentalists, News, Norway, The Apocalypse. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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July 28th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
ur story on del.icio.us today — liked it.. bookmarked it , will be back to check out some more later .. nice article ..
December 12th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Well, it was in the first episode of Red Dwarf.
They’re dead, Dave. Everybody’s dead. Everybody is dead, Dave.
July 11th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
RE: “The first part of your title to the article, “My God they’re dead. They’re all dead…Is that a quote from a movie and if so which one? If not please tell me it’s from a video game or something so I know I’m not crazy.”
The quote “They’re dead, they’re all dead” is from Mission Impossible. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in something else as well.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:12 am
We should always remember: we have only one earth mother. She will treat us in the way we treat her.
I and my online friends in big people meet club ___PlusMeet.c o m___ often discuss environmental issues and problems at the forum. Though P l u s M e e t . c o m is a hot dating site for big curvy women and their admirers. We will not forget our responsibilities as a human on earth.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:08 am
The first part of your title to the article, “My God they’re dead. They’re all dead…Is that a quote from a movie and if so which one? If not please tell me it’s from a video game or something so I know I’m not crazy.
My mental state is already seriously in question because not only did I see Titan A.E, but I have it on DVD.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
(about what I said earlier) think Ninja Warrior meets Resident Evil.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
It is kind of an interesting idea. I guess they’re fairly optimistic with their assumptions about human survival rate. They might have other apocalypse bunker plans in the future.
If I had the billions to have some kind of end of the world bunker, I’d at least set it up like some kind of intelligence and survival test, and if people aren’t smart enough to make it through they die in some horrible fashion, perhaps becoming food for the next contestants. Expect to see someone rip off my idea and make a straight to DVD movie about it.
If they were really worried about people dying out on earth, they should try moving to Mars.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Mike, you saw Titan AE too?!?!?
I thought i was the only one..
March 3rd, 2008 at 8:36 am
Blackdaisy, no one’s denying the importance of crop diversity. I think we’re all just a little more preoccupied with the fact that there will be no living creatures left to eat the crops. The only living things (radscorpions, mole rats of various sizes, and deathclaws) will be less interested in eating vegetation, and more preoccupied with feasting on the few irradiated, mutant survivors of the radioactivity.
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 am
I mispelled hear, godammit.
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:07 am
Tomatoes, I personally am not real crazy about tomatoes but do on occasion eat them on a cheeseburger. I like them to be sliced pretty thin and for them to be firm, not slimy and running. I do not mind them diced, like on a taco, and put on the cheeseburger like with shredded lettuce on diced onion. That’s usually pretty good.
@kingmonkey If that is a bug in Mrs. glendoor42’s lapel pin be prepared to here interesting
conversations like this
“what do you want for dinner? ”
“I don’t know, what do you want for dinner?”
” I don’t know”
TEN MINUTES LATER
” Well what do you want for dinner?”
” I don’t know, what do you want for dinner ?”
” I don’t really care”
FIVE MINUTES LATER
“How about Chinese?”
” I had Chinese for lunch”
” Well why did you say you didn’t care?”
“I don’t know anything but Chinese is fine with me”
” Well how barbecue?”
” No, I don’t want barbecue”
” I thought you said anything was fine with you except Chinese?”
” Well Chinese or barbecue”
“Well just goddamn!”
TWO MINUTES LATER
” Well what do YOU want for dinner? What about McDonalds?”
” I had McDonalds lunch”
” Well shit”
I assure you there is twenty more minutes of this bullshit every fucking day and after two days of listening to this if you haven’t poked your ears out with an ice pick just wait for the weekly budget conversations.
God I miss Iraq.
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Yeah, but it don’t have fuck all to do with that cheeseburger that Swaim’s offering.
What kind of pickles will it have on it? Dill, bread and butter (Gross) sweet pickles(Gross), relish, (these people should be shot).
Will it be on the the cheeseburger or on the side pickle spear type thing? Will it be a kosher
pickle, for any Jewish folks that would like to compete? Will it be one of those huge mutant
Chernobyl pickles that cover the whole cheeseburger. These things are awful, God did not intend pickles to be that big.
How will the pickle slices be cut, ripple cut or smooth. This does not affect the taste but if they are ripple cut you cannot have pickle races. ( this is where you take the smooth cut pickle off the cheeseburger and have at least two people flick it at a plate glass window and watch them slide down the window, last one left on the window wins)
Being that there is only one cheeseburger I guess pickle races are a moot point.
March 2nd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Do none of you know anything about crop diversity? Seeds are the literal basis for our entire civilization. Without the diversity of seeds which have developed over the centuries to survive in their particular regions of specific geological and climatic makeup, what would we be left with? Monoculture. We would have maybe 10 staple crops from around the world. Monoculture is prone to blights, which would wipe out the world’s food supply pretty quickly. Ever heard of the potato famine? It happened because the Irish all started planting the same potatoes, lost their crop diversity, and so all starved when the crops got diseased. I realize you’re trying to be funny, but that seed bank is just about the most worthwhile investment the global community has made in a long time
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 am
If it’s that damned canned cheeseburger from Germany, then you can forget having a knife fight over it. That thing’s hideous.
March 1st, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Ahh, minivans, social responsibility, enviromentalism. Fuck em, it’s great to be 20 years old and single
March 1st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Fuck the car. Get a cheeseburger, man! Get your priorities straight.
And remember to speak clearly… into Mrs.glendoor42’s brand-new lapel pin.
March 1st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I was about to write about pickles but Mrs. glendoor42 ( kingmonkey sent her back or at least a amazing simulation there of ) says we have to go shop for cars.
Oh the sheer exhilaration of emotions that are conjured up at the very thought of spending a beautiful afternoon with car salesmen. YYYEEEEAAAA !!!
Anybody have any suggestions on what I should get? I want a Stryker but they are a little out of my budget. I really want a used truck ( big surprise there).She want something small and used that gets good gas mileage and that I will have to drive not her and she will start driving my mini van.
March 1st, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Yup, it’s the other extreme end of the meat scale in terms of manlyness, with one end of the scale being raw and bloody meat and the other end being burnt to some sort of ashen residue.
And yes, you’re right, they said we’d never learn from the BSE and E-Coli outbreaks but we proved them wrong!
March 1st, 2008 at 4:42 pm
@ Cmdr.Ross A burnt hockey puck with garlic sauce and who say folks from the British Isles don’t know about cooking.
March 1st, 2008 at 11:23 am
I’m totally norwegian (Ok, Half norwegian/half swedish), and I don’t mind getting my hands dirty, Mr. Swaim! I haven’t washed them for a couple of days now. But seriously, I AM in the hospital, a norwegian one, and I almost tore my stitches in my abdomen from reading this post of yours, so, I had to ask for extra pain-killers. So there you go.
March 1st, 2008 at 10:31 am
Yes, yes I did mean condiments. I’m partial to garlic sauce myself.
Are we taking orders? If so, I like my meat well-done.
In other words, blacken it until I can use it to draw on the walls.
March 1st, 2008 at 1:30 am
That story was epic, and the lack of any indentation made it even moreso.
March 1st, 2008 at 1:10 am
Next pickles.
March 1st, 2008 at 1:07 am
Should read that’s how I became intimately
March 1st, 2008 at 1:00 am
OOPS!! Well anyway, if you’re not sure about the food in a place it is usually safe to order a
cheeseburger because they are hard to fuck up. WELL AT THIS PLACE THEY DID!
THEY fucked up a $25.00 dollar cheeseburger. They brought me a cheeseburger with provolone cheese on it and fucking red marinara sauce on it and I said “Hey, what the fuck is this? and the waiter said “that is your cheeseburger Sir” he responded with a real snotty emphasis on the cheeseburger and the Sir part. I then said that if that’s marinara sauce and provolone cheese on my cheeseburger then it not a cheeseburger but a fucking meatball sandwich with just one big fucking meatball. Then he said something to the effect that’s what you get for ordering a cheeseburger at Spagos I interrupted with “Even the Waffle House doesn’t fuck up a cheeseburger” and he said why don’t you go to the Waffle Hut then and I said ” It’s Waffle House you prissy fucking moron and he said “How dare you you ignorant redneck”. I do not consider myself to be a redneck or ignorant, I’ve have a masters degree in International Relations and come from very impeccable breeding and was quite offended by his remark. So I got up to beat his ass and they called the law and that’s how intimately familiar with the Beverly Hills jail.
March 1st, 2008 at 12:01 am
@ Commander Ross, By dressing I’m assuming that you mean condiments. To someone from the Southern United States dressing is similar, but not the same as, stuffing. It is a hundred times better than stuffing. It’s made with cornbread and some other stuff. I usually only get dressing around Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Swaim what kind condiments will be on this cheeseburger? Lets talk vegetables like for instance the lettuce. Will it be leaf lettuce or will it be shredded. What type of lettuce will it be Iceberg or Romaine? The onion will it be red onion, white onion, Vidalia, chives or leaks. Will they be chopped or in rounds. I have no preference either way there but the chopped are easier to eat sometimes because sometimes when they are sliced ,when I bite into it the whole damn thing comes out. Like I said no preference really the sliced onion thing is just sort of a minor annoyance. Leaks? Who in the hell puts leaks on a hamburger, that’s just fucked up. Why are you putting leaks on my cheeseburger Swaim, Goddammit.
Another thing there better not be any fucking mushrooms on that cheeseburger either. I don’t know who’s fucking bright idea it was to put mushrooms on a goddamn cheeseburger but they ought to have to work the drive thru window at McDonalds in Hell. Fuck, you put mushrooms on a cheeseburger that not a fucking cheeseburger, that’s a goddamn Salisbury steak on bun. One time I went to this place to eat and if your not sure about the food it’s usually safe to order a
February 29th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
I have their Place in the Sun album, but I don’t know where it is. I have the case, but the disc is missing. Did you steal my Lit CD?
Actually, if anyone’s even remotely interested, you can check out most of my music collection at http://rateyourmusic.com/~soupcannon
I just mention it because it’s late, I’m tired and my mind has ceased functioning. I’m going to play Fallout now. I have to see a man about a water chip.
February 29th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
@ Kingmonkey: LIT! I REMEMBER LIT!
You make me cum
You make me cum-pletely miserable
Masters of the language.
February 29th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Between the piles of dead cheeseburger warriors, the hookers, and the coffee can toilet; I think a few air freshner trees would be a wise choice. I like the new car scent
February 29th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Now I’m hungry for a gourmet burger of some sort and aching to play Fallout. Damn you, Cracked!
February 29th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Maybe with an olive stuck on the toothpick between the bun and the colored plastic frilly shit.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Oh, yeah, will the burger have toothpicks stuck in it, you know the kind with the colored plastic frilly shit on top. I think that would be a nice touch.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
@ Professor THE Guy , No offence but I would just as soon eat a cup of Crisco as I would Checkers fries, now McDonald’s fries, that’s an expensive hat.
Back to the burger, how big will it be, will it be like a regular McDonald’s cheeseburger or more quarter pounder size or will it be like one those ten pound burgers that if you eat the whole thing you don’t have to pay for it. Maybe somewhere in the middle, a little bigger than a Royale du Fromage and not as big as one that would clog up your colon for ten
years. will the meat be cooked to order, you know rare , medium rare and what not. I would prefer well done ( don’t want the Mad Cow disease). If it is that big will it be cut in half? I would prefer it not to be cut. I have seen a cheeseburger so big it had to be cut like a pizza to eat. That was in Meers Oklahoma, where in Meers they were serious about the steer, as opposed to Antler Oklahoma where they were just horny.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
The best part of Titan A.E. was the soundtrack!
February 29th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
One of the funniest articles of yours yet, Mr. Swain.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Titan A.E. is awesome movie. Especially the part where the only way to avoid the genocide of our species is to commit genocide on another.
Also include an expensive hat.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Swaim; you opened the vault door, I just stumbled out in a jager-hangover haze and began fondly reminiscing. Speaking of which, the vault needs jager. Lots and lots of jager.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Only poor glendoor42’s reverted. At least glendoor84 rhymed!
I feel your pain, MiSwa. I started palying Fallout last night because of this article. Well past my bedtime, too, I might add.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
They’re not fooling me… that’s no seed Ark. It’s the Klingon Prison Moon Rura Penthe
February 29th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Do you see what we’ve started, Commander Ross?
February 29th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
whoops , I mean ‘now’ instead of ‘know’
February 29th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
First of all, I wanted to upgraded too…so know I’m a pharoah. Why? Because I’m great, I originate from the Nubian Desert
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Egypt
and I love oppressing Jews…actually, scratch that last point
Anyway, glen’s cheeseburger is reaching Biblically amazing levels…might I suggest a THIRD patty? And you HAVE to have a Milkshake as well….ummm, delicious
February 29th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
See, for me, ketchup and mustard would make me not want the burger in the first place. I want to taste the meat and the cheese, not the condiments, but if the fries are from rally’s/checkers I’d totally be in on those.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Or about dressing.
I’m curious about dressing.
But enough about my personal fetishes
February 29th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Dammit Stiles, I’m supposed to be writing all day today and now thanks to your comment I have to play through Fallout again.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
He hasn’t even asked about lettuce, pickles, et al. yet
February 29th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Along with the G.E.C.K., make damned sure there’s a redundant system in place so that if a tiny little chip breaks, rendering your entire water filtration system useless, you don’t have to send some poor sap wandering through the wasteland fighting off huge fucking ants, rodents of unusual size, drugged up prostitutes, carnivorous plants, robots, talking two-headed cattle, aliens, ghouls and mutants all while encountering more inside jokes and cult movie/book references than a Cracked blog post just to find out that a neighboring vault had an entire room full of replacement parts.
Also, jalapeno poppers.
And at least one hooker.
On second thought, make that several hookers. Variety is the spice of life.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:50 am
I’m kind of just waiting to answer to see how long you’ll go.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am
To get to the crux of the matter what kind of cheese will be on the cheeseburger,will it be American, Swiss, Velveeta, Red Leicester, Tilsit, Caerphilly, Bel Paese, Red Windsor, Stilton, Emmental, Gruyere, Norwegian Jarlsburger, Liptauer Lancashire, White Stilton, Danish Blu, Double Gloucester, Cheshire, Dorset Blue Vinnny, Brie, Rocquefort, Pont-l’Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L’Est, Boursin, Bresse-Bleue, Perle de Champagne, Camembert, Gouda, Edam, Caithness, Smoked Austrian? Japanese Sage Derby Wensleydale, Greek Feta Gorgonzola, Parmesan,Mozzarella, Pippo Creme, Danish Fimboe, Czechoslovakian Sheep’s Milk Cheese, Venezuelan Beaver cheese, Cheddar Ilchester, Limberger?
How many piece of cheese will there be one, two, if it is a double cheese burger how will the cheese be placed, just one piece between the patties or my preferred method of bun, cheese, patty, cheese, patty, cheese, bun?
Will the cheese be put on in the last moments of cooking so it melt correctly and get some slight blackening around the edges or will it be put on at the time when the condiments are administered
If I don’t start getting some answers, Swaim I will refuse to be in your machete cheeseburger contest and it will be a great loss to humanity.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Sigh, I ‘purchased’ the original Fallout last night. I love that game. I hope it’ll tide me over until Bethesda gets there collective ass in gear. This is the kind of game that makes me ardently wish for a nuclear holocaust.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Will the cheeseburger come with fries? What kind of fries? How about a drink, like a nice iced tea? Could we exchange the burger for from fried chicken instead?
February 29th, 2008 at 3:46 am
Will the patty be square like Krystals, White Kastle and Wendys or round like your more
traditional burger fare. The ones I make at home are sometimes egg shaped.
February 29th, 2008 at 3:39 am
What kind of bun is on the cheeseburger, is it a sesame seed bun, sourdough, kaiser roll or plain. Will you make a smiley face with the condiments?My mom use to do that. What kind of meat will the cheeseburger have, angus , ground chuck, ground sirloin or just plain
ground beef. Now if it’s a tofu, garden burger or school lunch room type burger you can fucking forget it. Will the robots be allowed to compete? I think you should have the robot and humans compete separately and the winner of the human machete contest and the winner of the robot machete contest face off, I don’t know what a robot would want with a cheeseburger anyway unless it somehow powers the time machine.
If anything else comes to mind I’ll let you know.
PS will the bun be toasted or steamed like a Krystal burger or just not additionally cooked at all?
February 29th, 2008 at 3:01 am
God bless those frugal robots.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:24 am
Unless robots have taken over in which case they’d plant it there right before we need it to save on costs. Yes, I know how future robots think.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:16 am
Yeah, but if that were the case, it’d be there already. Check and mate, my friend.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:10 am
The time machine can always be planted there afterwards, should future mankind or robots decide that we could have used it in such an environment.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:48 am
how about:
cryptic clues to the location of another, better bunker containing a tiny amount of food and clues to the location of another bunker ad infinitum until the survivors realise there is in fact no bunker that will solve all their problems, and in the style of Cormac himself, the bunker in fact represents the tendency of humans to assign value to things that have little importance.
a roman emperor, a mini-colloseum, some lions and various weapons, on discovery of which they are forced to fight each other for the right to eat the lions and emperor
gadgets. endless piles of gadgets.
a perfectly reasonable explanation of lost
a giant projector that alternates between displaying goatse, tubgirl and clips from swap.avi with the giant caption “who are the lucky ones now, assholes?”
February 29th, 2008 at 12:23 am
it’d be messed up if some of the seeds are them pod people seeds from “Invasion o’ the Body Snatchers”
February 29th, 2008 at 12:19 am
tetris, that’s all we can ask for
February 28th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
why not put in an arcade. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/01/AR2008020103933.html
Throw in some “oregon trail” and I could survive just fine.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
“If there was ever a man fit to repopulate the Earth, it’s this guy. Just throw him, Gene Simmons, and Wilt Chamberlain’s corpse in there and bring on the nukes.”
Unless you (Michael Swaim) are a hermaphrodite there is a fatal flaw in this plan.
Oh, yeah, about the cheeseburger part is it a double cheese burger, what condiments are on it, does it have bacon on it, where is it from IE McDonald’s, Burger King, Sonic, Wendy’s,
Hardee’s, Jack in the Box, Big Kahuna Burger ( Now that’s a tasty burger), my grill or is it one of those convenient store burgers in the plastic wrap and box, how long has the burger been sitting there, will it be protected from all the blood that is going to be slung around (don’t want to catch the AIDS), how big are the machetes, will everyone’s be the same size (because I would hate to fight somebody with a claymore and all I got is a Ginsu knife),The world’s richest 1% now own over 40% of ALL WORLD WEALTH. This is EVEN AFTER you account for all of this ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS from celebrities and executives. ITS A SHAM, (where the fuck did that come from?) will I have time to sharpen the blade myself or will I just have to make do with whats given, can I bring my own machete, can I bring my light saber, will there be medical treatment available for the last man standing because I would hate to die after all that work and not get to eat the burger. Lastly, when will this contest be?
If I think about anything else I will ask. Thanks
February 28th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
When have enviromentalists ever gave a shit about anyone but themselves?
“Hey, people are melting, dying and eating each other outside BUT HEY CHECK OUT THIS LOVELY PATCH OF WATERCRESS WE’VE GOT OVER HERE!”
I’m going to burn a tree just to teach them a lesson.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
@kingmonkey: IS ANYONE–IS ANYONE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT?! DO I–DO I EVEN NEED TO ANSWER THAT?!@!EOIQHFSKIHG*&#REWF!!!!!JHQAIEDHGQHDSJGA!!!!!
@ Brendan: I was testing you. You passed. (Fixed.)
February 28th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Cormac McCarthy, chief.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Bryan, thank you for the nod to Silent Running. It’s good to know I’m among my own, sweaty, nerdy, basement-dwelling kind.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Oh man, you had to bring up Fallout. Now I’m gonna have an erection for the rest of the day. Thanks, MiSwa. Thanks for the embarrassing public erection.
On the other hand, anyone else looking forward to Fallout 3?
February 28th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Are they gonna get Bruce Dern and his robot friends to manage it?