With a supreme effort, you drag your mutinous body to the edge of the escape and peer down at the two-story abyss below. The chemicals coursing through your every cell tell you that you're looking at a beautiful swimming pool full of chicks with drinks and self-esteem problems, but you know the grim truth: all that's down there are the office dumpsters, and the chicks you're imagining are probably just homeless people in bikinis.
You make peace with the only God you've ever believed in - God - and list forward. But as you fall, your vision begins to change. Where once there was a pool, there's now a shimmering portal. Where once there were homeless chicks, there's now just more of the portal I mentioned.
As you fall towards the magic hole in reality, you realize there's something odd about the light pulsing from the other side. Something...jewy. Yeah, that's it; everything's getting real jewy in here all of a sudden. But hey, who are you to kvetch?
To kvetch, possibly about incipient anti-Semitism, scroll down and type words into the box.