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More Like Hannah Mon-Lesbo, Amiright?

So apparently everyone's saying these pics prove that Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana aka the underage girl that 500 Cracked reader trolls began masturbating to today, likes to have gay sex.

I have to admit it's pretty convincing evidence. She's on the floor; there's another chick there; they're sharing candy a la Lady and the Tramp. That's all the proof I need. I mean, if these photos didn't prove that Miley Cyrus likes to have hot gay sex in hotels with anonymous girls who are also underage, then why would I be masturbating?

I should point out (to the FBI) that "masturbating" is my word for blogging. (But in case you don't believe me, you should know that sometimes Michael Swaim comes to my house and downloads things to my computer I know nothing about.)

In truth, I agree with Miley who calls these pictures innocent. After all, if these pictures make you gay, the deep tissue massage I gave Lex Friedman to get the blogging job would make me super gay. And I'm not gay. I masturbate to barely illegal Hannah Montana pictures. (Masturbate = Blog). (Until I chafe).

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Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.

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