More Like Hannah Mon-Lesbo, Amiright?
So apparently everyone's saying these pics prove that Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana aka the underage girl that 500 Cracked reader trolls began masturbating to today, likes to have gay sex.
I have to admit it's pretty convincing evidence. She's on the floor; there's another chick there; they're sharing candy a la Lady and the Tramp. That's all the proof I need. I mean, if these photos didn't prove that Miley Cyrus likes to have hot gay sex in hotels with anonymous girls who are also underage, then why would I be masturbating?
I should point out (to the FBI) that "masturbating" is my word for blogging. (But in case you don't believe me, you should know that sometimes Michael Swaim comes to my house and downloads things to my computer I know nothing about.)
In truth, I agree with Miley who calls these pictures innocent. After all, if these pictures make you gay, the deep tissue massage I gave Lex Friedman to get the blogging job would make me super gay. And I'm not gay. I masturbate to barely illegal Hannah Montana pictures. (Masturbate = Blog). (Until I chafe).
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Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
Oh yeah, looking at your old posts makes me want to blog.
ReplyI spent 4 hours reading your site. Thanks for the good information. I'll be back!
ReplyLove your blog, i am seeing here different commands also thanks for sharing. What you wrote is great advice any way that you look at it.
Reply[...] and then there’s something else. I was actually the FIRST writer on Cracked to write about Miley Cyrus. Hard to believe, but true. DOB’s always copying me. First, by growing those sideburns. Then [...]
ReplyRoll Fucking Tide.
ReplyAnd, Hannah Montana is on Disney, not Nickelodeon.
ReplyThe one with the head band.
ReplyWhich one is Billy Ray's kid? I don't have Nickelodeon.
ReplyI can't be bothered to read posts other than my own, but my servants tell me there's some kind of libel against me in these comments. I challenge you to a duel, Gladstone. Pistols at dawn!
ReplyThank God, Morte. I was feeling like I was the only one. We know there is no bamar fans around here because they can't read. We got 6 and here's to 7. WDE!!!!!
Reply@ glendoor42
ReplyThere's another Auburn fan on this site? Well fuck yes! War Damn Eagle!
And this my friends is why disney needs to be stopped at all costs my friends. Hanna montana is the lesbian crotch stain on America's panty hose. Also her music sucks, i mean its like hearing sheet metal get ripped apart by a disemboweled cat.
Reply"I'm really upset about it, 'cause it was, like, not even a big deal."
ReplyOh, fuck off, Miley Cyrus.
Look, if mastur...ahem, I mean blogging, to pictures of underage Disney stars is wrong, who wants to be right? I mean, how old was Hillary Duff the first time you mast..ahem, I mean blogged, to pictures of her?
ReplyNew Year was yesterday here in Australia, but it's also 1972 so the time zones are a bit screwy.
ReplyHAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! AND WAR... DAMN....EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replydisgusting...........
Replyu know? some of my friends said they have seen these photos on a site namely sugarmommymeet.
and are they insane??
omg.......
Oh by the way, Just gone midnight here, happy new year to ya'll.
ReplyYou guys are technically a year behind now.
to go blind ,not to blind. Ya'll need an edit function so I don't look like a bigger idiot than I am.
ReplyBy the way, I think I nominate the title of this blog as the year's funniest.
Reply