Cracked Readers, I’m going to do you all a huge favor today. I’m going to save you some money. You’ve no need to thank me, though, if you must, I accept gift certificates to Chili’s, (Pepper in some fun!), donations to charity made in my name, and pornography, (Pepper in some tits!). Here you go, a one-step method to save your money: Don’t go to the movies this weekend. I know, the temptation is there- It’s summer, it’s a Friday night, a few new movies will be coming out- it all sounds irresistible. Well, folks, let me tell you, those movies are The Happening by M. Night Shamalan, the creepmaster extraordinaire whose name I refuse to look up for spelling purposes, and The Incredible Hulk. Do not waste your money on either of these movies. You’re welcome.
Now, you might be wondering what I’m basing my arguments on. Did I see these movies? Well, not in the technical sense. Cracked.com Headitor Jack O’Brien took all of the other Cracked Columnists to see both movies last night so they could write up reviews but, due to an acerbically-worded court document, I’m not allowed within 500 yds of Jackaroni and Cheese or his family.
His stupid, stupid family.
So instead, I watched the trailers of both movies a couple of times and, really, I feel like that’s gotta be enough to write a fair and unbiased review. If you feel my reviews are unfair, feel free to email me. If it turns out that I didn’t provide my email address, feel free to go ahead and suck it. Long and hard and all over town.
The Incredible Hulk
[Starring: CGI, Ed Norton, Liv Tyler's Breasts]
It’s been five years since Ang Lee’s The Hulk came out, (Starring: CGI, Eric Bana, and Jennifer Connolly’s Breasts), which is apparently more than enough time for this remake/sequel that is neither a remake nor a sequel. The understanding is that Ang Lee’s Hulk kind of blew, but this one’s gonna rock, and here’s my problem with this thinking: Hulk will always blow, and it has nothing to do with the writer or director of a movie. Hulk is just an frustratingly dull character by nature. Let me ask you something, did Ang Lee’s Hulk feature a big green stupid-fucking-monster destroying a bunch of shit? Did it feature a timid Dr. Banner who hates the monster inside of him but can’t control it? Yes and yes. Here’s the inside scoop, Sports Fans, that’s all Hulk fucking does. It’s not like Ang Lee disappointed a bunch of Hulk fans by leaving out Hulk’s lesser known, non-smash-related tendencies. There are no non-smash-related tendencies. Unless The Incredible Hulk makes some bold choices, (making their movie about Spider-Man instead, for example), it’s going to be just as bad. Decades of Hulk comics have taught us that all he does is get angry, (and, when that happens, rumor has it that your fondness for him will dramatically decrease), and he smashes things. (Oh, and occasionally gets sent into space, but that’s another story.) Hulk’s problem is that he isn’t an interesting or compelling character. It’s why you make a movie about Batman instead of the Batmobile.
So, since the plot of The Incredible Hulk promises to be just as bad as the first Hulk disaster, I’m going to go ahead and base my judgements of this movie on some of its other aspects. Namely, the quality of breast that will be carrying this movie.
It’s absolutely no contest. Jennifer Connolly’s Breasts win the day by a landslide.
The Happening
[Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zoey Deschanel, The Faint Sound of M. Night Shamalan Masturbating Out of Self-Satisfaction]
I don’t know why they keep letting Shamalan make movies. Honestly. Sixth Sense was okay, I suppose. Watch it again, now that you know the twist. It’s really slow and kind of boring, isn’t it? Then go ahead and watch the other pieces of shit he did. They’re also very slow-paced and uneventful. In any given M. Night movie, there are no more than two moments of actual action. (1. “I see dead people.” 2. “I’m Dead.” “I know, I can see you.”) Everything else is just atmosphere. M. Night spends so much time setting the mood and playing creepy music and having his actors stare at things looking confused and, meanwhile, nothing actually happens.
And The Happening looks no different. I’m gonna go ahead and guess that the first bit of action in this movie will be people killing themselves when they’re struck by this stupid disease or whatever, and the second bit of action will be the big, destined-to-be-disappointing reveal at the end, (”Turns out aliens were making us kill ourselves but they’re afraid of water. Goodnight folks!”).
Now, let’s look at this trailer a little harder. Without a doubt, the most hilarious moment to me comes at about 31 seconds in when Cameron from Ferris Buehler’s Day Off addresses the panicked crowd with “Ladies and Gentlemen, there appears to be an event happening.” Everyone’s nervous and scared, and they want answers. “There’s appears to be an event happening”? Why the hell was this guy elected to speak to the crowds?
“Hey, Mr. Mayor, what is this? Some kind of event?”
“You betcha. And it’s happening.”
“Well, that clears everything up.”
“M. Night Shamalan’s a fantastic writer.”
Bad dialogue, plot, and directing aside, I for one will be really impressed if Marky Mark manages to maintain that eyebrow-scrunching constipation-face throughout the entire two hour movie.
So there you have it, Folks. Skip these movies and use the money you’ll save on a more noble cause, (me.) Or better yet, hold on to the money so you can watch The Dark Knight over and over and over again.
I can’t friggin’ wait for that movie.
This entry was posted on Friday, June 13th, 2008 at 1:45 pm and is filed under Breasts, M. Night Shamalan, Movie Review, Uncategorized, hulk, the happening. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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June 21st, 2008 at 8:56 am
I don’t need money because am rich. I am a lonely big beauty and I just want to seek my Mr. right @ hot dating club ___ PlusMeet.c o m ___, where many big boobs girls, big butts women and big men meet and seek fun&love together. hope it will work for me!
June 18th, 2008 at 6:29 am
@RC: I think that Joni Mitchell’s song was actually arguing AGAINST the use of pesticides and the paving of paradise. Of course I could be wrong. *shrugs
June 18th, 2008 at 6:25 am
@ Andy pants: “Killer Trees”? really? WTF!
What’s with all the bee references then? Can you explain the connection? I mean, if trees are producing some kind of psychotic pollen that starts off killing the bees first, then wouldn’t that lead to their own extinction ? Stupid friggin’ trees. They should leave the business of mass extinction to the experts. Human beings.
In defense of Mark Wahlberg, I’d like to say that I thought he was good in “Three Kings” and “The Perfect Storm”, although you could argue that was the result of the “Clooney effect”. If want to see him in the lead of a good B movie, rent “The Big Hit” (1998). Mind you I said *good* not great. It was fun with lots of improbable action sequences and he’s doesn’t appear constipated for much of the movie.
(if you want to see him in a *horrible* B movie, rent “Planet of the Apes”)
June 16th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
There really isn’t a twist in The Happening. They speculated about the plant revenge thoery for half the movie and at the end they just sort of say that’s what they “think” happened. The movie sucked. Here are some gruesome suicides and now here are people running away, wondering what’s happening, then theorizing, then telling us that’s what happened. It bugs when people think his movies are so deep, they are terribly predictable and the “twists” aren’t twists they are just stupid.
So in the end I guess Joni Mitchell was right. Maybe we should pave paradise and put up a parking lot. Better than the fucking trees killing us. I always knew nature was evil
June 16th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I’m gonna see The Happening anyways, dude lays down in front of a fucking lawn mower in the preview. That has to be funny.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:50 am
Oh, hi, Consummate.
Anyway, I’d have considered The Incredible Hulk fairly mediocre had it not been for Ang Lee’s 2003 version; it takes a special kind of fuckup to take a movie about a giant, inarticulate green guy who punches holes in shit and make it BORING, but Lee pulled it off (he managed to do the same trick in a kung fu movie about gravity-defying swordsmen, too; there’s no genre so awesome that Ang Lee can’t turn it into a sleep aid). Compared to that, I sort of enjoyed this one.
June 15th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
killer trees? pft already saw that in Narnia and LotR.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I bet the trees were genetically altered by the aliens from Signs.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Has anyone seen the new trailers for The Happening with Shamalan giving ‘hints’? God, what a pretentious dick. He takes delight in fucking people over with cheap bait-and-switches.
June 15th, 2008 at 1:37 am
It’s a shame. I was really rooting for Shamalan to make a comeback. A the very least, I’ll see it on video out of curiosity.
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
June 14th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Jennifer Connolly gives me an erection. Or, at least, the image of her does. I haven’t gotten around to dating her yet.
Well, I guess there’s no need in me going to see “The Happening” at this point, eh?
June 14th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Ugh The Happening. It was a terrible terrible movie. Like I hate M. Night Shamalan and went to this movie expecting a bad movie, and still I was disappointed. Now the Hulk I liked alright mostly because I went to the movie expecting to see a big green dude beat some shit up, and I saw a movie about a big green dude beating some shit up. So that one didn’t disappoint at all.
June 14th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
I didn’t know that was her in Labyrinth, I thought see was pretty hot in The Rocketeer.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Also I have had a crush on Jennifer Conolly since Labyrinth. I still se labyrinth Jennifer Conolly in my (sexy) dreams sometimes.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Uh, yes.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Has anyone uttered the words ‘KILLER TREES’ yet?
Because that’s the twist in the happening.
No joke.
KILLER FUCKING TREES.
Is that not single-handedly the most retarded thing you’ve ever heard?
June 14th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Another money saving tip:
In the mood for some silly fun? Don’t bother going to see Get Smart. Just watch the many, many trailers. They’re putting every single funny scene, even the only mildly funny ones, in those.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I know what’s happening to the bee’s ; The damn communists are killing the bee’s. It is an unforeseen side effect of their weather control machines. Fucking communists.
I think I’ve been listening to Coast to Coast too much.
June 14th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Veering off the Hulk debate for a moment.
I loved the Sixth Sense so much that, with the exception of Lady in the Water, I’ve kept watching all the movies that came afterward. And yes, I actually liked Signs , although it was mostly because of Joaquin Phoenix’s subtle yet goofy take on the dim younger brother.
I was all set to see the Happening (yes: unintentionally stupidest title ever & yes: I’m old enough to hear that cheesy song in my head when the title flashes on the scene) if for no other reason than to find out why those people in the trailer are floating in the air.
Then Mr. Shamealot out douchebagged himself.
He’s putting his own spoilers out there. You know just in case anybody enjoys guessing what’s going on halfway through the movie. Or, maybe, in case people who don’t guess halfway through enjoy the surprise twist at the end.
1.The movie’s website shows a blackboard with the drawing of a bee
2. Mr. Shamealot has been telling the press to quote him as saying “It’s the greatest B movie ever” (B/Bee get it? uggh)
Gee , big fat hint at same thing happening to human race that’s mysteriously killing off all the honey bees? Let’s make it more exciting have a guy lie down in front of a ginormous lawnmower and give it an R rating. Uggh and uggh
June 14th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
To be fair to the Hulk in some comics it’s more of a split personality and psychological or so I heard.
June 14th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Terrific. Also, (and I know this might seem like a conflicting message to some), I just want to make it clear, I will be absolutely seeing the Incredible Hulk in theaters. Probably the Happening, too, if we’re being totally honest, because I just love movies so much.
Still, my status as a columnist grants me carte blanche when it comes to being a hypocritical dick.
June 14th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Oh yeah , I totally agree with you about M. Night Shamalamadingdong. He sucks.
June 14th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
” Beats all of the smartest minds on the planet because he’s just so damn big and angry and smash-loving. ” That has mostly been the savage Hulk.
Not necessarily, Bruce Banner, who’s as smart as any of the characters you mentioned and smarter than some, has mostly been at the core of the Hulk’ mind and the Hulk often defeats many enemies with an innate cunning and guile. Most of the time when the Hulk has been defeated he was often outsmarted.
Brains, I agree will save your ass more than brawn, but brawn don’t hurt either.
June 14th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
@glendoor42
You’ve touched on one of my problems with the Hulk, Sargeant, but it’s really more of a personal bias of mine. In the Marvel Universe, I respect that guys like Xavier are among the most powerful mutants, and I respect that all of Iron Man’s power can be attributed to how smart Stark is. I like how intelligence is such a big part of Reed Richards and Pym and Spider-Man. That, to me, is the inspiring message: That the heroes you’re rooting for got where they are because of their intelligence and guys like Rhino, no matter how big he is, don’t stand a chance. But then, at the end of the day, Hulk shows up and defeats everyone. Beats all of the smartest minds on the planet because he’s just so damn big and angry and smash-loving. And that’s the message now? No matter how smart you are or how hard you work, there will always be someone bigger than you who can beat the shit out of you.
I like brains more. This is because I’m a massive nerd at heart.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:43 am
I am a lonely big beauty. I don’t need money because am rich. I just want a nice guy and recently am trying online dating @ hot dating club ___ PlusMeet.c o m ___, where many big boob women, big booty women and big men meet and seek fun&love together. hope it will work for me!
June 14th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Also the Hulk movie gave a scary accurate portrayal of what PTSD is like. Just for clarification
PTSD does not just to have to do with combat. Anyone who has gone through a traumatic
event like Katrina, a robbery, a death of a loved one, car wreck and hell even a bad divorce can cause PTSD symptoms.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:11 am
And for being trapped you win the right to buy a puppy for 400.00.
also I would like to respectfully disagree with DOB and say that I thought the Hulk movie was pretty good, as good as Iron Man.
There was one aspect of the Hulk besides the Jekyll & Hyde + Frankenstein” formula that was not discussed here. That would be the nerd revenge factor. This was always this factor in the comic and the TV show.
It would never fail, some dumbass rednecks would comeup to Banner and try to start shit
and Banner would try to talk them out of it and fail and then said rednecks or hoods would
deservedly get the shit kicked out of them. This was always very self satifiying for a lot of readers.
The Hulk also serves the purpose of taking the rest of the Marvel Universe down a peg.
When the Hulk would go on rampages and everyone else would have to band together and try to start him, most of the heroes would talk some shit about how bad they are and the Hulk would smack them down, all comers, because the “HULK IS THE STRONGEST THERE IS”.
June 14th, 2008 at 7:33 am
dammit, I have been trapped
June 14th, 2008 at 7:32 am
your a jerk consummate
June 14th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Must…….resist……..making…….snarky……..remark……..falling……into………consummate’s……trap…….HELP!!!!
June 14th, 2008 at 6:21 am
Wait, even better: “Hulk vs. North Korea”. I can only imagine Hulk mauling the million troops they have and then squishing Kim Yong Il
June 14th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Now, if hulk movies dropped the banner part and only left the big guy smashing the USA army into bloody pulp, the movie would be awesome.
June 14th, 2008 at 3:29 am
It is I, the ill-famed Consummate, beware my witty traps and overly extravagant mastery of the English laguage. Todays trap will be, (sound of a roulette wheel in the background), this one is the jackpot of traps. Prepare to be shocked, for noone is safe from the trapping power of Consummate. Bwahahahahahaha!!! Yes, I laugh like Bowser from Mario, but that is because he is my sensei at trapping. I cannot wait till I get a promotion so I can get my free Goombas.
Note: The trap may or may not be that I am Consummate. Responce to this post will cause an automated “Like a bunch of internet lemming, you have fallen off the cliff of my trap.” and shame shall befall you all.
June 14th, 2008 at 1:55 am
Wait, O’Brian! Responded to me!!! .
June 14th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Wow, O’Brian, your Sherlock Holmes + Robocop movie is something I will gladly watch (surely a cyborg loaded with sensors can analyze stuff). And I do agree with you about some of the other stuff actually. I mentioned Planet Hulk because in those he actually seemed intelligent and not ‘ROAARRR!!!! HULK SMASH’ all the time. Well, almost.
Maybe because any Hulk movie is never going to be realistic. How do you realistically portray Hulk in real life? He’s as tall as a one-story house at least, unnaturally muscular, and green. Painting Lou Ferrigno green did not work and I realised it when I was 6. Either CG or animatronics, and neither will seem realistic, not with a humanoid creature. The same problems for the Gears of War movie (confirmed, I think).
Also, those description of the Hulk movies were not really mine. I just quoted some other critics that liked the movies and I agreed with.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Oh, and don’t worry about Big Mac A-Jack, he’ll come around. Oh yes, he’ll come around …. *sharpens knife menacingly while doing an evil laugh*
June 13th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
The funny thing is, this made me think of when I went to see Iron Man. It was an absolutely packed theater, completely sold out. The very first preview they showed was for The Dark Knight. The place erupted with applause. There was a palpable excitement in the theater. People went fucking nuts. Then the second preview started and everyone was still kinda jazzed from the dark knight trailer. We see the train with marky mark and zooey deschenel (w/e the spelling is) and it stops and there is the convo about losing everyone and we are intrigued. This seems interesting. Then they throw M. Night Shamylan’s name up on the screen and the entire theater let’s out a groan of disappointment. It was fantastic. I love it when an entire audience is on the same page and completely right to boot. When they displayed the name, “The Happening” everyone just laughed out loud because that’s such a stupid and ridiculous name for a movie.
Anyway, can we just rename Christian Bale to God and get it over with?
June 13th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
No, I haven’t checked behind the wainscoting, but my youngest daughter, who is 18 by the way, says that there is a leprechaun that lives in the walls of the house. So I was hesitant
to do a thorough search.
I’ll ask it next time I hear it moving or the toilet flushes by itself, if it has seen any puppies back there.
@ Dan, have you ever read any of the Hulk comics?, or do you just have a general dislike of the Hulk overall. Peter David’s run on the Hulk was particular good.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
That is indeed a cute puppy; fair enough. But do you know for a fact they’re the cutest puppies in the house? Have you checked behind the wainscoting? Nobody ever checks behind the wainscoting anymore; it’s a habit lost to the ravages of progress.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
@ Reginald the Barbarian & J-Pappi
Yes, I have traveled the world, search the internet and can state unequivocally that these
are the cutest puppies in the world that are in my house. Look at my avatar here on Cracked for a picture of what they look like.
June 13th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
I’m not sure–but I’m pretty bored with all these trap-free comments…what a dick face.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
The article title was misleading…there was really only one tip, where the title implied multiple tips. I really think we should talk about this.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
one last thing, Where in gods name is Consummate with his clever traps?
June 13th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
though i will still pay the sum you ask for
also i will pay a handsome sum for stuff and things
June 13th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
yes the puppies must be distinguished from their colleagues.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Some of the cutest puppies in the world, huh? Did you really look at ALL the cute puppies in the world before determining that? They would have to be mighty cute, you know, to warrant that distinction.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
300 you say, well i will give 350 per puppy. U can never overpay for puppies.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
MBS, I think he wasn’t so much criticizing Liv’s breasts as he was advocating Connolly’s. Of course, only he knows what he actually meant, but that’s what I got out of it anyway. That, and a hard on from looking at Connolly’s breasts. “Ass to ass,” baby! God, I love that girl. Not that I wouldn’t fuck Tyler, mind you…just not quite the same.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
How dare you criticze liv tyler’s breasts DOB? She’s freakin perfect. Plus I think she’s supposed to do a nude shoot for playboy once she gets back in shape from the baby. She actually anounced that.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Well Reginald if you like puppies this happens to be your lucky day. I happen to have six of the cutest puppies in the world for sale RIGHT NOW. 300.00 A PIECE.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
DOB, there has been a few things i have wanted to say to you since you started blogging here. First off, I like stuff. Secondly I also like things. Third but not least I like puppies. I hope you take this to heart before you start rattling off that tongue of yours.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
“What O’Brien wants is probably a Planet Hulk movie”?
Nah, MSJ, you’re misunderstanding. Only O’Brien knows what O’Brien wants, and what O’Brien wants is not a Hulk movie at all. I’m okay with the Hulk’s presence in a movie, (he’s rumored to be the villain in the 2011 Avengers movie), but not a Hulk movie. The first Hulk might be an “art house Greek tragedy/drama,” but it might also be, as some scholars have proposed, a “shitty movie with laughably retarded CGI and a bunch of fucking Hulk Dogs.”
And, yes, I’ve also seen the “Hulk = Jekyll & Hyde + Frankenstein” formula plastered on every single review and interview for The Incredible Hulk, and no matter how many people repeat it, I still hate it. I think it’s the most aggravating and roundabout way of saying he’s a “conflicted accidental monster” you could possibly come up with. Still, forced comparisons to literature won’t change my mind about the Hulk. You could call him Sherlock Holmes plus Robocop, and I wouldn’t care. You could say he’s a motherfucking Gatsby meets Yossarian dipped in Atticus Finch pastiche and I’ll still say we don’t need one Hulk movie, let alone two in five years.
June 13th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
R. Kelly was acquitted today on all charges…
That the event?
June 13th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I agree with rh, I watch bootleg copies of movies a lot and when you don’t pay a lot of movies are a lot better. That being said I liked the Hulk.
DOB your abs make a cameo in the first five minutes. I hope ypu know that they are working without you.
June 13th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
A few things:
The dialog in the trailer for The Happening already made me cringe. Ever since I heard of this movie, I cringed. At least Manoj [Night Shyamalan] did not gave himself a mastubatory role like in Lady In The Water.
The Hulk (both movies) are actually not bad, okay. I enjoyed the graphic novel stylings of the first, and I thought it has the sensibilities of Vertigo titles. You shouldn’t see it as a superhero movie, but as an ‘art house’ Greek tragedy/drama with action sequences. The second one is more for fans of the Bixby/Ferrigno TV show. The Hulk, as a character, does have potential in a story, he’s a Jekyll & Hyde and Frankenstein pastiche that is awesome in the hands of the right writer. What O’Brien wants is probably a Planet Hulk movie.
Also, both Marky Mark and Norton are good actors, it’s just in the movies mentioned they are badly directed.
June 13th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
It takes a lot of class to call “first” on the 18th post. Well done, sir.
June 13th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Will you take Canadian Money?
June 13th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
The thing about The Happening that is probably most ridiculous [which is saying a whole lot], and also a giant indict of the professional science industry, is that the “twist” is going to be figured out by some high school science teacher [i think that's what Marky Mark plays]. We’ve all been to high school, some of us even graduated from it [Michael Swaim] and others haven’t [Jack O'Brien], and we all know that there isn’t a high school science teacher that is, for lack of a better word, competent or knows science. at all. In fact, you’re really lucky to get a science teacher that isn’t serving as Ladies Volleyball Coach or Men’s Golf.
Also, FIRST!!!!
June 13th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I have one of those tear-off calendars in the shape of DOB’s glorious abs counting down the days until The Dark Knight comes out.
June 13th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Oh, are we doing this now? Did that Event just Happen? (Yes.) Is that what I think it is? AN event. And it’s happening.What happens in Vegas is an Event. Event Haprizon.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
These happens should not be eventing.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Another dumb premise for a superhero… Invulnerability (Superman). What a crappy superhero. The guy’s perfect so who cares? Did he save the day? With ease… BORING!
June 13th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I refuse to believe that Edward Norton is in any bad movie, ever. That’s why I’ve blocked out the entirety of Down In The Valley.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Plus, Liv Tyler’s bewbage is a little bigger since she recently had a baby
June 13th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
DOB, this is not the only movie where Marky Mark will have to look constipated for two hours, since he is also starring in the potentillay bad or potentially awesome video game movie Max Payne
June 13th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
When one of the main advertising points is that this is the directors first R rated movie, you know its gonna be bad.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Stupid movies…..you are much better off staying home and doing THIS for FREEEEE!!!!!!!
http://www.fakebuddy.com
June 13th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I can’t hear the name “The Happening” without thinking of the song by the Supremes (The Happening) for the 1960s comedy failure, The Happening. That one was about hippies who kidnap a mobster. Anyway, why are there 2 movies and a song called “The Happening” when it’s such a stupid name? Now my head hurts.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Attack of the Clones. I disliked it so much I didn’t bother learning the name. Ok, no more comments.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Actually, let me add, in defense of watching bootleg versions…. I have long been turned off by too much CG, especially entire CG characters. But, even still I like seeing comic book movies. So, watching them on a computer screen, not digital quality, actually makes the CG look better. I learned this back with Revenge of the Clones - watched it from a bootleg and kind of enjoyed it - tried watching it on real DVD and couldn’t make it ten minutes in. The same reason “big ants” didn’t bother me while watching Indy and checking MySpace and doing payroll.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I watched the Hulk this morning at work….. ahem…. watch-movies.net…. and, as much as I hate awful CG I actually enjoyed the film on par with Iron Man. And yes, I wanted to hate both (Batman all the way!). So, even if you wait for the dollar theater, you should see the Hulk. 70% on Rotten Tomatoes (20 or something for The Happening.)
June 13th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I knew the Hulk was going to be a terrible movie. In fact, I KNEW it.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I saw both of the movies last night, and while my opinion may be biased because I was sleepy at 2am, I didn’t think either were all that good.
The hulk was predictable, with a ridiculous fight scene at the end. It looked better than the original(graphic wise) but still sucked as badly.
The happening wasn’t predictable, but that’s only because of the “twist” at the end. I do want to buy it, but only because there was a scene where the main character talks to a plant for a while. I guess a couple of the suicides were interesting as well.
Either way, it’s not worth the 20-30 bucks you would spend for a couple of trips to the movie.
June 13th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I totaly agree about both of these movies. These events should not be happening. And the graphics for ‘The Hulk’ look terrible.
June 13th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
First
There was an event that i was at the other day. very eventful
they had activites and things to see.
and an event happened also