CNN Waaaay Too Excited About a Teen ‘Sex in the City’ (or Speaking of Teens That Will Land Me In Jail)
So in today's episode, I count off CNN's truly disturbing attempts to cast a teen version of Sex and the City with a bunch of jailbait celebrities.
Speaking of jailbait, today's shoutout goes to two teenage girls who have absolutely nothing in common except for their alleged (and highly dubious) desire to marry me. If you read the comments (like I do while wearing a velvet robe and sitting in a chair of fine mahogany and leather) you might realize I'm talking about our own Nerdlette and Direwookie. But which to marry?
One lives in Canada (somewhere); the other lives in Texas.
One is a future Greenpeace activist; the other shoots guns and likes Sarah Palin's style
One looks like Tina Fey's punk rock niece; the other, the love child of Jamie Lee Curtis and Nicole Kidman.
I can't decide. I have so many questions: Will their boyfriends mind? How about my wife? And just how illegal would it be for me to even exchange an erotic email with them? (Answer: very, very illegal).
Ultimately, I think this should be decided by cage match, but that's my answer for everything.
I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.
ReplyNo video again. I'm becoming disillusioned...
ReplyI love you, Gladstone. A freaky sensitive exploited child told me that we are meant to be together. I went to Gladstone Elementary school and Gladstone is my favorite British PM! Don't that beat all?
ReplyHaha that was great! Laugh out loud funny actually. I think Dakota Fanning is an excellent actress, especially in Taken, and if she did a sex and the city crappy movie it would be a big shame.
ReplyGreat HBN! I love the zinger, you really need to include that more often
Replybear+rifle=dead bear
ReplyDONE
(this is the only type of math we can do in texas.)
>and nerdlette’s CANADIAN.
Reply>c’mon!
>she’s afraid of a cage match; she knows i’d flatten her in seconds.
I wouldn't discount the fact that Nerdlette's Canadian. Canada also has bears.
You do the math. I'm going to bed.
I'm actually glad I didn't know about the law in Victoria that time I was in Melbourne.
ReplyThat'd just be way too much pressure.
Oh, and MJ -89, technically you need parental permission if you're under 16 and not married. Also, it's illegal to get married if you're under 16 but if you got married somewhere where it was legal and then moved to Victoria then you can still legally have sex.
Reply(They gave us a booklet about this stuff in highschool - it was a few years ago now, but I doubt it's changed much)
Pluck pluck pluck pluck pluck.
ReplyBrilliant. Best HBN ever? Possibly.
Also, Adam44, I really like the word "Swaimliness". It should be used at every opportunity henceforth.
@ Res_Ipsa
ReplyYou think 14 is bad?
I guess in Victoria, Australia most people would say it's 16 (unless the other person in a carer in which case it's 18) however between the ages of 10 and 15 you can legally have sex with anybody so long as they're not more than 2 years older than you.
Why is this newsworthy? Ugh, CNN has serious problems. Next thing you know that "What the Buck" buy will be an anchor there.
ReplyThat "ZINGER" was awesome.
HBN has steadily gotten better since you got back from the computer failure-indued hiatus. Nice.
ReplyStill not DOB-level, but approaching Swaimliness.
my vote goes to direwookiee
ReplyFor one, nerdlette is all scene, and I hate scene chicks. 2: green peace=fucking crazy
Gun shooting is preaty bad ass.
Also direwookiee is ... er... um .. cute? Can I say that? Not like a pedo or anything, she just looks more attractive.
you da man, gladstone
Replyand nerdlette's CANADIAN.
Replyc'mon!
she's afraid of a cage match; she knows i'd flatten her in seconds.
That has got to be the creepiest CNN segment ever. I never really understood the popularity of Sex and the City or the young actresses they mentioned. But aside from all that, this episode of HBN was very funny.
ReplyNo campaigning Nerdlette. This can only be solved by cage match.
ReplyDirewookiee likes Sarah Palin.
ReplyC'mon.
You mean he's not already a cult leader? I was thinking that he's well on his way . . .
Reply