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Microsoft Thinks Windows Vista Sucks. Get in Line.

Microsofts lumbering hulk of a failure, Windows Vista, is no longer your only option when purchasing a new PC. Microsoft, finally smelling the technological wet one theyve dealt, agreed to let PC manufacturers offer XP as a downgraded OS to buyers.

Personally, Ive had nothing but IT problems since I switched my home candle-making business to Vista machines, so this news comes as a real relief. No longer must I fear accidental wick reorders or tallow shortages when my vast network of computers, all dedicated to the making and documenting of candles, goes tits up.

The bad news is that this may be a limited-time-only deal. Still trying to push their aborted fetus of an OS as hard as they can, and citing a Windows Life-Cycle Policy, Microsoft have said theyre going to force manufacturers to stop offering the XP option after January 31st.

The worse news? It turns out if you paid for the Microsoft software bundle designed to downgrade your machine to XP, you totally got ripped off, since all Windows Vista user agreements entitle the buyer to a free downgrade anyway. Its actually a brilliant marketing strategy: sell us solid waste, then after weve eaten it offer to turn it back into a sandwich for forty bucks.

Its kind of like the whole New Coke fiasco, except that New Coke actually beat Coke Classic in blind taste tests, whereas if Windows Vista were a food, it would probably have a good amount of pig scrotum in it.

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Michael Swaim

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