Some would call my suddenly blogging about Emo kids a transparent attempt to plug the newest Those Aren’t Muskets! sketch. Those people would do well to chill the fuck out and enjoy some embedded video. I’ll meet you on the other side with some exciting news about Mexico.
Well, here we are on the other side. Hopefully you’re not all laughed out, because I have some tragically hilarious news to share with you. Specifically, that Mexicans have once again done the dirty work we couldn’t do ourselves by beating the living crap out of a bunch of eye shadow-wearing, spiked hair-having, My Chemical Romance-listening Emo kids.
You read that correctly (unless you didn’t); there are currently riots raging in Mexico during which people rove the streets, muttering to one another about “these goddamned kids with their striped shirts and black nail polish” (in Spanish mind you), looking for gaggles of hipsters sitting on a parking lot divider to hit with a two by four.
They follow the sounds of Dashboard Confessional like a homing beacon, and then release their collective fury on behalf of all of us who have ever heard a Death Cab for Cutie album and thought “Jesus, does this asshole seriously want me to feel sorry for him because he feels bad about cheating on his girlfriend? I’d like to punch him in the mouth.”
Things have gotten so bad for the Emos that police have had to come in and protect them, a civic duty somewhat akin to guarding a child molester while he moves from one cell block to another.
Thousands of presumably weeping Emos have started gathering in protest, foolishly making it all the easier for beefy Mexicans to round them up and smack the white lipstick off of their pimply faces. Put that in your livejournal, bitches.
Fights have even broken out between the various subsets of self-involved Mexican teens. Marauding bands of Rockabilly kids clash with the Metalheads and Emos like it’s all some ridiculous re-enactment of The Warriors.
Which, if it is, they should have better group names, like “the dEMOlitionists” or “RockaKILLy.” “Rockabilly” just doesn’t have the panache of “The Orphans.” Speaking of which, something I always wondered about that movie: if they’re penniless orphans, how did they all afford to get matching sets of rags made that say “The Orphans” on the back?
But I digress. Hey, take a look at this Mexican anti-Emo hate site!
Most of it is just bleeps and blips to me (I only read the Queen’s English), but I notice something about Emo being “gay” there on the right, and the linking article tells me they call themselves an “Anti-Emo Death Squad.”
You know, I’m beginning to think this could be just the kind of important cause Mexico can finally gather behind. I predict we’ll be hearing a lot more from these brave citizens.
I’d watch out if I were you, Scenesters (Jesus, just look at them. I can hardly stand it).
I know you say you “hate Emo kids” too, but somehow I doubt Construction Worker Pedro’s going to appreciate the finer nuances of whiny junior high fashion trends.
One day you’ll be “jiving squares” at the mall, rabidly discussing how superior you are to that bitch Kimberly and her imitation checkered converse, and BAM! Right to the back of your black bouffant hairdo.
And you know what you naïve, cruel little shits? I’ll be at the Orange Julius next door in a plain white t-shirt, slippers and Pink Floyd pajama bottoms, and I’ll laugh until frothy cream shoots out my nose.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael plugs the hell out of Those Aren’t Muskets!
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
- If You Wanna Make An Omelette, You Gotta Let Some Kids Get Molested - November 13th, 2008
- CNN Ushers In Era Of Incisive Reportage With New Holograms - November 12th, 2008
- The 7 Deadly Sins of Online Gaming - November 7th, 2008
- If McCain's Concession Speech Was As Bitter As His Campaign - November 6th, 2008
- Class War! A Handy Guide - October 30th, 2008
November 4th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Oh, and Kim, you sound like an Emo sympathizer to me. I think you’d better keep an eye on her, Cracked. She’s going the right way for a good ol’ fashioned loyalty review. In fact, I say we blacklist her right now, that kind of talk could be considered an act of Emo subversion.
November 4th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I always just figured The Orphans’ poverty was the reason that they only had green t-shirts while other non-orphan gangs like the Hi-Hats were able to get their parents to buy them hugely ornate mime outfits.
On a lighter note, how many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The answer is it doesn’t matter because they are all cut up in barrels in my basement.
October 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am
This is utterly insane. I’m not an emo, and yeah, fine, they’re a little weird. I personally don’t like the trend but people are insane if they think that’s an excuse to beat them up. Jesus Christ, they’re not hurting anyone! I know it’s apparently got links to anti-homosexuality, but that’s no damn excuse either. What the hell is wrong with this world that people would gather en mass to beat up teenagers because of what clothes they were and what music they listen to?
This is disgusting.
August 1st, 2008 at 2:14 am
Uh, what? Death Cab, emo? I know it’s a stupid name and all (which is on par with emo bands) but the music is much more Decemberists than Dashboard. In fact it’s not Dashboard at all? It’s mostly Decemberists. Only kind of harder, at points. Transatlanticism is brilliant.
The point is, put aside the stupid emo-esque name and look up “Passenger Seat” on youtube or something. They’re not emo.
July 26th, 2008 at 6:10 am
personally, i think “emo” has gone way out of control since beatings are occurring and i generally don’t like “emos” but i’m siding with them. i see it more as a phase, like in a couple years “emos” are going to grow up and be like “hey, remember how i used to dress and do my hair?” because who wants to see a forty year old guy with fringe down to his nose?
I have to say that these beatings are wrong, i mean, yeah “emos” are weird, but who isn’t? there are tons of “emos” in my school and they don’t come off as unhappy as you’d expect, some are content with their lives. not all of them are gay too, they are probably just experimenting because of how young they are. but i do think that their whole scene comes off pretty gay because its gotten to the point where i’m at the mall and am like “what a cute boy. wait! that’s not a boy! it’s a girl!”
“emos” do sometimes have a disturbing air about them that makes me dislike them sometimes. they seem too caught up in their culture and sometimes come off like they know who’s cool and who’s not, and i think that is what a lot of other people think. it’s just a bunch of teens fighting for what’s cool, basically. before the rampage was with he gangsters, but no one messed with them because they came from the streets. with the “emos”, who stem from the music, they are easier to pick on so those metalheads target them.
in the end, “emos” are kids trying to prove that they’re unique. they dress like that to be different, but don’t realize that nearly every teen is thinking the same thing. as for the rockabillies or whatever, they should leave them alone because they’re coming off as complete assholes who don’t know how to accept people. everyone should act like themselves and grow up! be yourself and stop letting other damn people’s looks get in the way! life is not about fitting in groups or standing out, like high school, it’s about relating to people despite how different they are. the best and long-lasting way to be different is based on your mind, so work on that instead of how you look because looks and trends always end up fading.
look up “OFFICIAL Scene Kid Documentary - “Scene Doc.”" on youtube
June 25th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
What’s more annoying than Emo or Scene kids?
Scene-mo.
It’s a ungodly hybrid of the two, forged in the depths of the most sickening pits of hell and brought to your local coffeeshop and/or independently owned record store. (Trust me, they were [and still are] everywhere north of North Avenue in Chicago.) What’s eve more annoying is how they manage to combine whining and sarcasm all into one irksome package. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends that consider themselves “emo” and act accordingly (i even helped them dye their hair pitch black out of friendship and complete boredom). But not a day goes by where I want to break a My Chemical Romance CD in half and cut their stupid emo selves up with the shattered disc. But sadly….they would like it if someone cut them.
April 9th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Hey, I resemble the Orgcore Punker from that yourscenesucks website too! That website is awesome, thanks for the link total immortal. I laughed my ass off.
April 8th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Jonny Ryall:
That’s good to know. I was outraged at first, but now I feel okay.
April 8th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I despise emo kids as much as the next guy, and am relatively homophobic(maybe less so than your average trailer trash, I originally wasn’t but having a gay brother I have had an opportunity to meet more queers than I would have liked). Just so you people know mexican emo kids being beaten has more to do with homophobia than it does with music. Essentially it has less to do with the music(how do people listen to that shit anyway?) and more to do with the perception in mexico that emo kids are homosexuals.
April 7th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
don’t mean that toward you, swaim; enjoyed the video. yeah, a bit more than the blog. “cut myself ’cause that’s how i roll,” nice.
shayn n.
April 7th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
i say we all rally together and strangle these acting-like-they’re-14-years-old 14-year-olds with their stupid argyle socks. cut their wrists for them with those box-frame glasses. toss their jonathan safran foer books into a flaming pile, then drive their pink mopeds at 15 mph into the heap. gauge their eyes out with their eye-liner; how’s that for EYE-rony? death cab for cutie? death cab for YOUtie. and who foots the hospital bill? their PARENTS! HA!
was that a good impression? i think i got it down.
April 7th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
If you guys would like a conclusive list of scene kids, theres a list here: http://yourscenesucks.com. Unfortunately I found that I resemble the orgcore punker.
I’m going to go find a razor (for shaving).
April 7th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Chilean pokemones aren’t emo. Chile has emo, too, and they’re just as silly in Stgo. as they are everywhere else. And treated about the same…
April 7th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
[...] then I realized something. Who needs to link to a real story? That’s for amateurs. Children. I’m the oldest Cracked blogger, and I’d better start acting like it. (I [...]
April 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I keep trying to think of my favorite part of the video is - every time another sort of emo cliche comes up like the look on your face when you pull the hoodie over your head or the jumping or whatnot, but I think my favorite part is when you put the knife next to your wrist and the look on your face when the chick is cooking your spaghetti.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:44 am
” I’ll be at the Orange Julius next door in a plain white t-shirt, slippers and Pink Floyd pajama bottoms, and I’ll laugh until frothy cream shoots out my nose.”
Finally my dream of prog-rock fans being easier to identify for victimisation has come true. I used to have to stick to sniping the occasional dork in a dream theater shirt but now your day will come you bastards.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I’ve got to tell you kingmonkey +1, if I met a man dressed like that, I would shake his hand… Then I’d probably run in the opposite direction and never look back. But the handshake would be there initially. Whereas emos get beat up in Mexico, so… I dunno, maybe Mexicans are tougher than me. Also, I’m pretty sure that Corey kid got beat up a few times, so at least he got some form of comuppance.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Ah, that fucking Autralian kid with the arrogance… I saw him on a couple clips and he seemed the type to let the negative attention fuel his massive ego. And now you say that a bunch of Australian kids are dressing as and trying to emulate him? I think we know where I’m going for vacation this year: not Australia. And also not Mexico, for that matter.
Everyone is entitle to like the music that they like, right? Even if it means dressing like a weiner, kids can listen to and enjoy emo music (is enjoy the right word?). Personally, I like nothing more than to dress like my favourite musicians, too. Trouble is, I’m a big fan of Queen, and it is hard getting sequins to stay on my fur-lined cape, the crown is a bit top-heavy, and walking around in only hot pants during the Casnadian winters can be counter-reproductive.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:32 am
I’m Australian and pretty much all I know about America is what I’ve learned on TV (Miami Vice is best new show!) and the internet. Having said that, I don’t know how bad the emo infestation is elsewhere. But in Australia, I think it’s starting to die down a little. Now we are getting what I refer to as the ‘homeboy redux’. There’s this kid called Corey who got on the news and shit around here for throwing a massive party, and he coincidently had the worst fashion sense ever. Here’s an example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2EDtxEumFI
Anyway, now the kids started dressing like that. I… I kind of miss the emos.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Apparently, Mexico is going batshit crazy and rejecting its emo popluation like a bad kidney transplant.
April 6th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Well, hopefully I’ll get you next time. Thanks for watching, anyway. At least you’re not Miko, who physically threatens people for working hours on end to provide him free content.
April 6th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
I’m a big fan of your work, Swaim, but this one kind of sucks, the video and the blog. The comment thread has quickly turned into what I imagine frat boys talk about when they’re not planning their next date rape (later that night, usually).
I don’t even like the assholes and I feel like I have to defend them.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I have watched that video like 20 times and i still crack up. Best video since the parent-teacher valentine’s video.
April 6th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Mr. Swaim, long time reader, first time poster. I read ur blogs with much vigour. you sir are a voice of the plebes. Good on you for exposing these frauds for what they are (misguided monkey peoples…yeh).
it seems u’ve captured my thoughts and exposed them humoursly and cleverly. keep up the great work.
Maury from Sydney City - reprezzentin’
April 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
That sounds like a personal prroblem dude.
April 6th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
A) that video was significantly less entertaining than having a tooth drilled
B) I would much rather see roving packs of belligerent drunk idiots beating up you than emo kids; emo kids have never so much as annoyed me, but all those times I click on what appears to be an article on cracked.com and find out it’s yet another goddamn shitty video have annoyed me and I’d like them to stop occurring
April 6th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
As evidenced by that music video, I have at least been to a field, a mall, and some train tracks. None of which are a computer, IF YOU’LL NOTICE. Also fuck you. And I say that with a smile on my face.
April 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
You’re on the computer too.
You’re basically ranting at people whilest doing essentially the same thing as them and somehow trying to make yourself seem better.
Also, are you saying no one’s allowed to be bitter?
April 6th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Don’t worry, we well turn out okay!
April 6th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
First of all. The word EMO was at one time just a tag to describe emotionally charged hardcore punk. It was amazing, and there are still bands playing a style truly considered emo. And it still kicks ass!! None of this major label bullshit that gets passed off has anything to do with what it truly is. Nowadays, with all the add agencies and suits leeching onto whatever bandwagon they can to further drain the soul from any once great music. Secondly, I fucking hate you assholes for using the word hipster!! Just fucking stop it!! The only reason you are offended by it was because you were not one of the “in” crowd when you were younger, and you are still probably just some sorry sad nerds, living in your parents basement(or above garage apartment, if you live on the west coast). People are people, fashion aside. It doesnt even exist, except in your minds. I have been involved in the music scene for about 18 years now, I have seen many trends come and go. Some good, some downright awful. But, the total truth, the one thing I have found out from all of my experiences is: All people want is to see a smile on your face. The reason cool kids ignore you is only because you are always scowling at them and their ability to socially connect better than you ever could. Just get off the fucking computer, stop playing World of Whorecraft, live a little.
April 6th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
can’t believe noone’s posted this but http://xkcd.com/114/
April 6th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Personally, I think anyone that actually feels the need to go beat up someone based upon the way they look and the music they listen to is fucking lame. Live and let live.. Thought the second world war would have at least shown human beings the right direction to travel in (the oppresion of a race) overly dramatic comparison it may be, its still the same concept, people choose to express themselves in different ways, I don’t see how a genre or music, and a fashion sense is in any way worthy of someone being physically hurt. The true “emo” as you would so unconceivably call it is in all reality the weak human beings that have to resort to violence because they simply can’t accept the way a person is.
Just shows how shallow and pathetic humans can be in this age.
April 6th, 2008 at 10:40 am
@Dramblius
So because some kids are beating up are beating up some other kids in Mexico
everyone in the West is a retard? Please…… and it’s really nobodies here’s fault that things are bad in Lithuania. I would blame the Communists.
April 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Nory! Puerto Rico here too aww
Anyhoo… that Helena song isn’t that bad…
April 6th, 2008 at 6:15 am
Man, do not get me started on Emo. I am what is referred to as a musical elitest. I know what I like and if any commercial radio dares to come near it I will call in a bomb threat. Anyway, the thing that shits me about all this is that Emo started out in the 90s, and it was a branch off from hardcore punk. Basically, they wanted music that was emotive but not really really loud. And it was pretty fucking kick ass. The sad thing is, you are 100% right Mr Swaim. What we get these is a very very watered down version that, 9 times out of 10, sucks ass. I’ll admit, I love Death Cab for Cutie a lot, but they can be pretty whiney. I like quite a few bands that are considered ‘emo’. What I really hate with a passion though is ‘emos’. The people who base their existence on it. Fucking scene kids. Fucking unisex haircuts. Fucking fuck fuckers. Mexico, you have my respect. Scalp a ridiculously fringed head for me.
April 6th, 2008 at 4:40 am
reply to glendoor42
I am from Lithuania, a state form Euro union, near Baltic sea. We also have emo, but in my land it is only style, only clothing, nothing more, only about 1% of those “emo” are true, only a fashion, before them was a fashion of punks and goths, imagine a nation where almost 25% or even more of all kids between 12-17 are emos, punks and goths… but this is not my point, we are facing a difficult problem such as moral degradation and alcoholism (we are second in the EU of consuming alcohol, or even in the world per person), and it sounds childish when someone is beaten up just becouse he tends to be sensitive, ar looks a bit gayish, when there are many more bigger problems. I know that an emo will do no harm to me (exept in one social website they keep shittin on me), and I do not care about them, they will grow up some day (I hope so), there are other very offensive subcultures and even nations, that we should take care (or beat up).
Or maybe you westenr people do not have any other problems, then i am wrong.
p.s. enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAiYtM3y91k “true emo in lt”
April 6th, 2008 at 4:30 am
Granted, they are quite whiny, and technically emo-ish, while nevertheless extremely talented. All I ask of if that you never associate them with these kinds of people, EVER.
But you know, any other emo jokes, top tear humour my man. Please do go on.
April 6th, 2008 at 4:16 am
@ Warsun: They may be talented, and their songs may have wonderful, literary lyrics, and I may thoroughly enjoy them and have all their albums on my iPod, but I find it in no way hypocritical to call them emo. The guy writes 90 percent of his material about friends dying, women who he has grown bored of, feeling guilty for being unfaithful, and women who (gasp) somehow get sick of his gentle sobbing and leave him.
E.M.O.
April 6th, 2008 at 3:32 am
The two worst words of all time EMO REFUGEES and that is what well have if the beatings don’t stop Emo refugees from south of the boarder! Ron Paul warned us about this!
April 6th, 2008 at 3:14 am
Are you calling Death Cab emo? I can’t tell and cannot be bothered working out for sure. If so, I’d like to punch you in the mouth, sir. Hard.
April 6th, 2008 at 2:59 am
Stop calling it “emo”? plz?
April 6th, 2008 at 2:12 am
I fear this is just the beggining
Emos
PokEMOn
Scene Kids
This ppl exist due to capitalism
They buy and sell and that’s it
Companies and bands are aware of this
So the sell themself
Is a vicius circle !!!
Can’t we all just go back to the 90 ?
BTW
I do speak Spanish
And even if Im really tired of emos and such
Im greatfull to have been born in a more blended place if you may say
(Puerto Rico)
April 5th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Im kind of glad this is happening. I’m a huge rock fan, but Im ashamed to see that the new MAJOR rock style is some wussy/whiny (and borderline fruity) bulllshit. Whatever happened to the kick ass party rock from the 70’s,80’s, and 90’s where the overall message was to party hard and get laid?!?!
April 5th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
So, I was paying attention (as best I could, since I don’t speak spanish and instead of making an effort to understand, I took up drawing comical speech bubbles on my computer screen) and then Hare Krishna shows up, out of nowhere. Because of an allergic reaction, I had to shoot pure epinepherine into my chest just to stay alive.
I digress, now as to the emos, I’ve personally always thought they’d make great pets. Had one once….but I guess the freshwater tank I kept it in wasn’t doing the trick, it’s almost like it drown in there. Meh, shit happens.
So here’s the plan…the emo pet emporium. I have access to several large vans. We move across the border, catch them, and sell them off with their own squeaky toys. We can double the return on our small investment with a training program, in which we make even more money by charging admission for enraged Mexicans to beat them into submission. Everyone wins. Well, mostly us, and I don’t count…them…but still, everyone wins.
You guys game?
April 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Good one Ross. Also I notice that Dramblius doesn’t say where he is from.
April 5th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I want to comment on the hilariousness of this article and the various things it contains, but just looking at those fucking emo kids makes me so angry that the only response I can muster is I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO I HATE EMO. Godammit! I have to go cleanse my mind of this shit now and I’m going to go listen to the Traveling Wilburys to go calm down.
April 5th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
The Arctic Circle.
And die.
April 5th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Yes, before this I thought, that western people are retards, now I know, that they are retards. Beating up just becouse of the style… Don’t you have anything better to do???? Idiots form the west, fundamentalists from the south, and chinese fromt the east, where to go?
April 5th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO
Damn, i knew cracked and Mexico were cool, but to this extent… Damn. I hope they cull the whining shit out of those emo bastards. When they were popping everywhere here, i just continued my routine of “i don’t touch the world, it doesn’t touch me either”.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
“Actually, I just got an e-mail that declare the 6th of each month “dia de golpea a un emo” (”punch an emo” day). ”
Yet another good reason to let illegals into the country.
April 5th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Here’s more drama for ya mamma!!!!
http://www.fakebuddy.com
April 5th, 2008 at 9:16 am
I live in Mexico and have been invited to several of this Emo punchings, they usually gather around in the same places so they’re easy to find (and with their unnaturally tight pants they’re easy to catch) so It’s not like I run into a riot on my way to school (I feel mildly offended for Billie’s “that’s the price they pay for living in Mexico” this is not the sort of no man’s land you see in the movies). Actually, I just got an e-mail that declare the 6th of each month “dia de golpea a un emo” (”punch an emo” day). On one side, I don´t aprove punching someone just for being an idiot, on the other, they’re fucking everywhere, in the streets, at the mall, in the subway, and it was about time somebody did something about it.
¿ever heard mom’s classic line “keep crying and I’ll give you a reason to cry”? well, that’s pretty much what’s happening around here
PS. Mexico Rules!!!
April 5th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Those girls, if you read the article, don’t like JayJays clothes. They are WEARING JayJays clothes. What kind of stupid girls are they? I dislike their sort more than I do emos. At least emos don’t go outside.
April 5th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Did anyone understand the video in spanish? They ask a “punk” why they’re going to beat up the emo kids, and he answers, “‘Cause they’re copying our style!”
Does that mean, he’s gonna go around beating every single person who bought the same black shirt he did in Walmart?
Makes me wonder, who then, is whinier?
April 5th, 2008 at 3:23 am
Wow. I have relatives that live where this anti-emo cleansing is taking place. I’d worry, but its the price they pay for living in Mexico.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
This might be easier to enjoy if it weren’t for the fact that they’re (the anti-emos) are essentially homophobic. Actually I take that back; these people are retarded if they think it’s cool to act violent towards a bunch of whiny teenagers beacuse they’re a bunch of whiny teenagers.
Really, they’re annoying, but violence should be saved for when the radioactive spiders threaten our existence.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Now to be an Emo, scenester, hipster, etc., do you have to both dress/look like one and think like the stereotype or could it be mutually exclusive. If only cognitive processes can constitute a persona, then I am in deep shit.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Eeeeemmoooosss! Come out and plaaaaaayyy…..!
April 4th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Well they learned that from their mother.
April 4th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Kids say the darndest, most hurtful things, don’t they?
April 4th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
The title of that photo is ” Yea… Daddy’s home from Iraq…..when does he go back?
April 4th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Thank God you claimed them glendoor42; I was worried they might be my kids.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Did she break her hair straighteners?
I still don’t why anyone would get up and think “hmm, you know, I could really fix my hair. Ah screw it, guys like lions. And bed-head.”
April 4th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I see what you did Swaim , you saved all your funny shit and your comic brilliance for this post and just phoned in the Woody Allen one,. yeah O.K. I get it.
More importantly, about the photo subtitled ” No. No to all this.” Where in the fuck did you get the picture of my daughters and their friend from a couple of years ago. Mine are the two on either end. The one in the bigger tiara is the one that wrecks cars.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I heartily endorse Jeff’s idea.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
As much as I hate those stupid cross-dressing, make-up wearing freaks, I love fucking those chicks. I just sit at a Round Table Pizza or a Taco Bell for an hour or so and eventually a group of them will come by. All you gotta do is look sad and self-absorbed and they can’t resist! Fuckin’ sluts. Then I pull out and cream on their 2lbs of make-up before I break their Used cd over their 100lb boyfriend’s head.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
holy shit, people are stupid.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
You know that Quadrophenia riot actually happened. Brighton Beach 1969. My dad was a Mod, he had a parka and a scooter, he didn’t go down to Brighton to kick the shit out of any rockers unfortunately.
He probably would have. Something I love hearing about.
April 4th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I sorta hope this trend catches on, and that soon fans of any shitty band gets persecuted aggressively. Can you imagine? Thousands of Filipinos beating the living shit out of Kenny G fans, people getting shot before they can purchase any CD fronted by a celebrity. Oh happy, happy days.
April 4th, 2008 at 11:20 am
To be fair, poison, Panic have lost their exclamation point. They are now just Panic at the Disco. They don’t sound much better, but at least they’ve lost the high school emo/goth, highliner look.
See, emo kids? Even Panic are growing up!
They still suck, mind you.
April 4th, 2008 at 10:48 am
It’s like the Mexican “Quadrophenia,” except the soundtrack is much, much worse. This is is the kind of shit we get when white musicians stop ripping off black music…
Actually, it seems the emos are being attacked for their androgyny more than anything else, so it seems the beatings are less anti-emo than they are misdirected anti-homosexuality.
April 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
but they’re so cute! with their fake tiara, black eye-liner and “pain”. awww, being a teenager is painful and you feel like everyone is against you and you can’t get your angst out? you want a cookie? or I could tie a panic! at the disco cd to a piece a string for you to play with. nawwww
April 4th, 2008 at 10:19 am
So what DO you do when god starts listening to your prayers?
April 4th, 2008 at 9:54 am
firstly great Vid Swaim, TAM are consistently bringing the funny.
Secondly check out the dude in the Youtube vid from 0:58 to 1:02, he looks like a 50’s style greaser/Fonzy wannabe
April 4th, 2008 at 9:44 am
“Get me some nachos.” I almost lost it there. Bravo!
April 4th, 2008 at 9:29 am
The emo bashing I understand.. but why the fuck are the Hare Krishna there?
April 4th, 2008 at 9:02 am
This is just the beginning. Flames are being lit even as we speak on various snowy mountaintops throughout the world to signal the beginning of the Cleansing. What is the Cleansing, you ask? Let’s just say that when Dio erupts from Hell riding through the sky on a flaming black dragon, you will understand. God I hate emo.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Why the tiaras? Just….why?
Hey, at least Emos are honest. The majority of teenagers are whiny, self-obsessed little shits, so the natural progression was to create an entire social scene out of it.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I remember this article from the forumz,
iLoled.
Also, that’s an epically funny vid, well done
April 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am
I can’t help but think the Mexican emo kids have got it wrong. Marching in deomnstrative protest? Emo is about apathy as much as it’s about self-obsession. Come on! Get it right or I’ll come down there and bash all… oh, I guess that’s been taken care of already.
I don’t actually understand why there would be gang violence about musical taste, though. Did gangs of emos brutally carry out ethnic cleansing against the metalheads for generations, spawning a bloodlust that will last, unquestioned, for over a century? No. They just listened to irritating music. It’s hardly a lynch mob-worthy offense, unless they’re listening to Aiden. Or Broadway.
Those scenester kids, on the other hand, god those little tiaras are just pissing me off.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:22 am
in chile they have a similar issue and call them pokEMOns. i have no idea.
i also like how shitty they are at being emo. like, at least when japan dresses like america its hilarious and overblown. see Ganguro.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I honestly don’t know what to think of this. Part of me is thrilled, and wants to move to Mexico. Part of me is terrified that something like this could happen. Think about it, if this catches on, and the Emo, Hipster, Scenester etc. kids stop showing their whiny I-cut-myself-to-let-the-pain-out nature, how will we differentiate the weaker of the species? Their sense of style wards me away like the boils of a leper.
Also, great TAM! video. Your stuff is always gold.