Metal Gear Solid 4 may or may not have insanely long cut scenes
If you had asked me at the age of 8 whose opinion I respected most in the world, "professional video game reviewer" would have been pretty near the top of the list, perhaps even as high as "Tony the Tiger." Yet certain events of the past few months have cast an unflattering light on the world of video game reviews. Were you to ask me today to rate "video game reviewer" on a spectrum of job respectability I'd probably place them a little bit below "Adult theater janitor."
Here's why: there's rumors that Konami has forbidden early reviewers from talking about certain aspects of the upcoming game Metal Gear Solid 4, notably the length of the cut scenes or the size of the install. Apparently these sorts of conditions are relatively common for early video game reviews, although they usually tend to be more mundane and spoiler-related, along the lines of, "Please refrain from discussing Luke Skywalker's parentage." But these kind of conditions are a little more unusual. We can't say for sure why Konami felt it necessary to restrict reviewers from discussing the length of the cutscenes in MGS4, although "because they're terrible and just keep going on" is a popular guess.
I'm not going to turn this into a rant about why I hate the Metal Gear games (short answer: because they're terrible and just keep going on) and instead use the shining beacon that is this blog to cast the harsh glare of journalistic integrity on the damp world of professional video game reviews.
Some more background: Last November, Gamespot editor Jeff Gerstmann posted a mediocre review for the mediocre game Kane & Lynch. The only problem with that was that the entire Gamespot website was swimming in ads for Kane & Lynch at the time, even to the extent that I believe they were using special promotional fonts. The story goes that the publisher of the game, Eidos, being somewhat displeased at spending several hundreds of thousands of dollars on advertising for the game, and not getting a non-terrible review for their dollar, leaned on Gamespot's owners to fire Gerstmann, which in fact did happen a couple days later. Management denied any connection, although their denials were muffled somewhat by the huge Kane & Lynch promotional rubber mask they were wearing at the time, along with the Eidos promotional rubber penis lodged in their throats.
There's tons of these stories floating around the internet, of PR personal leaning on game reviewers for better reviews. Which raises an important question: Why isn't anyone trying to bribe us? Attention video game publishers: Cracked has zero integrity! Did you see our "12 favorite banner ads" article? If you need a good review for your game, then fire us an e-mail buddy! Check this shit out:
Another curiosity: The common acceptance of the 1-10 rating system, even though everyone out there only uses the scores 6-9. I remember a website called Daily Radar from back in the day, which actually only used 4 ratings, which were Excellent, Good, Fair and Turd as I recall. At the time they were mocked for their lo-res rating system with it's lack of decimal places, and sure enough the site eventually went out of business. (Although looking back on it now, just being on the web at all in the late 90's, is generally regarded as being a Bad Business Decision) But here we are nearly a decade later, and everyone's still dividing game's up into four bins, the great "9" games, the good "8" games, the bad "7" games and the turd "6" games. Seriously guys, there's a reason Siskel and Ebert were reviewing movies with thumbs up or thumbs down, and it's not just because Roger Ebert doesn't know how decimals work.
yeah, metal gear sucks. nothing new.
Replyactually, the original games were good, but the solid series sucks.
WTF!!!.... gamer my ass wat u basically said iz u dont lyk games wit long cutscenes. MGS4 iz a great game and WTF does dis hav 2 do wit luke skywalker. FUK U cuz u obviously neva played da MG series and n my personal opinion ur gay and need a life. instead of constantly rating games, get a gurl n go out. If anybody want 2 talk 2 me bout da situtation, i'll b online n MGS4 today at 6:00pm on sunday, october 11, 2009. My name iz DARKSTAR500, im lvl 11, tsuchinoko. SRRY havent played da game n awhile, plus i caught da yelw lyt of death but i got my ps3 fixed.
ReplyNot that I'm impressed a lot, but this is a lot more than I expected when I found a link on Furl telling that the info here is awesome. Thanks.
ReplyYou sir, can not call yourself a true gamer if you do not like the Metal Gear games (well, at least if it's just because the insanely long cutscenes and operatic complexity to the storyline; if you just plainly suck at the game[s], then you have an excuse). The ratings have seem to be inflated these days, i do agree with that, giving waaay to many games at least a rating of 6 that should be at -.5 . I was disappointed in Gamespot after the scandal, and now I don't solely rely on them for reviews.....
ReplyLook up zero punctuation, best reviewer ever, and no marks, cause that shit is gay
Reply[...] Metal Gear Solid 4 may or may not have insanely long cut scenes. [...]
ReplyI think we're getting off topic, people. This is a Commie-Prostitute-flamethrower forum, and I don't see how any of you can forget that. Bring on the crispy zombie hordes of flaming Commie Hookers!!!!
ReplyThis just in - anyone who dislikes the Metal Gear Solid series, which invented the stealth genre, you twat, is retarded and should have their consoles and thumbs seized and given to someone who can recognize a good game when they see it.
ReplyI give this article a root negative 1
ReplyI remember a great website having a 2 stars rating system... *sigh*
ReplyPFFFT @ BreathingMeat for nazism's
ReplyThe article's pretty good, but you have got to learn how to use apostrophes if you're going to be a writer. For example, you don't use them to make plurals of things, including the years in a decade. 1990s = good; 1990's = bad.
ReplyAlso, "its" when used as a possessive pronoun (eg. "The spider ate its own legs off") doesn't have an apostrophe. I know! It's crazy! But think of it this way: "Its" doesn't have an apostrophe for the same reason that "his" doesn't.
Fuck you, metal gear games are the best ones out there. Snake's a badass and the cutscenes are sweet.
ReplyOh wow Charles Pierce I feel like I'm in college again.
Replybut thats just an opinion
Replyi dont think can be rated with numbers because ratings are opinions, if i would rate GTA4 i would give it a 7/10
ReplyDaily Radar was a great site. They went out of business because they consistently called out shitty Nintendo games for what they were, and eventually Nintendo got fed up and sued them for copyright infringement for posting screenshots. fuck Nintendo.
ReplyActually, Game Informer isn't afraid to call games 5s and 4s - I'll assume those are "Super Turd" and "Looking At This Will Dirty Your Eyes" respectively. And for games that are actually good and where they got upwards of 50 grand in advertising money they'll give it a 9.5.
ReplyAfter working in the game industry, I can say Jizz Mopper is a much cleaner, healthier job too
ReplyI would like to comprehend the rationale behind stating Metal Gear Solid is a shit game, your justification is "it keeps going."
ReplyI don't see how that makes any sense as EVERY game comes to a closure at some point, no matter how long it takes. Even then, Metal Gear Solid games are short.
Metal Gear Solid games appeal to those that want to be able to interact with a movie, this is conveyed clearly with the prolific cutscenes in every game. This is also the reason why it is a love or hate relationship with it.
But yes, Metal Gear Solid is a terrible game, lets overlook the fact it constantly sets the benchmark in storyline, graphics, sound and gameplay in the stealth genre.
No doubt you're a Halo player that believes Halo games are revolutionary and innovative as you can use vehicles. Congratulations, you're a moron.