Cracked Columnists

Matthew McConaughey's Next 10 Movie Posters

Perhaps you've seen the poster for Matthew McConaughey's newest movie:

If you look closely, you'll notice something about this poster: it's awful. But, if you look even MORE closely, you'll notice something else. This movie looks oddly similar, by which I mean almost fucking identical to some other terrible Matthew McConaughey movies you may remember ignoring:

Bullshit those are three different movies. Bullshit. Bullshit all over town. Bullshit right on down to the break of dawn, those are the same movies, that son of a bitch hasn't even aged. Looking at these posters, as well as the posters for That Wedding Movie He Did, The One With the Horse-Faced Chick and The Other One With Kate Hudson, I started wondering what it takes to come up with a movie like this. The formula seemed pretty simple: a pun or two, a cutesy tagline, an infuriating title and a picture of McConaughey smirking like he was just crowned the Douche King of Dipshit Mountain. Using this algorithm and utilizing the army over at Twitter, I've come up with the next 10 movies that Matthew McConaughey is likely to make.

-jekelish

-Montel555

-impossibledino

-jekelish

-AaronPDX

-kev_facepuncher

-KashmirKnitter

-dyinginback

We're still playing "Write Your Own Shitty Matthew McConaughey Movie" over on Twitter, and you can see all of our taglines and titles here. Or, if you make your own movie poster, send it to me at dan (at) cracked (dot) com and I'll add it on to this page.

Fan Submitted Posters:

By Baqi.

[Love it because it combines miserable, overplayed Matty Mac movies with miserable, overplayed body-switching movies. Throw in a sassy black stereotype and you've got a hat trick of shitty Hollywood ideas.]

By Cracked.com Super Intern Randall.

By Cracked.com PS Contest Superstar BishopWhitet.

By someone named Ryan.

[I love this.]