Perhaps you’ve seen the poster for Matthew McConaughey’s newest movie:
If you look closely, you’ll notice something about this poster: it’s awful. But, if you look even MORE closely, you’ll notice something else. This movie looks oddly similar, by which I mean almost fucking identical to some other terrible Matthew McConaughey movies you may remember ignoring:
Bullshit those are three different movies. Bullshit. Bullshit all over town. Bullshit right on down to the break of dawn, those are the same movies, that son of a bitch hasn’t even aged. Looking at these posters, as well as the posters for That Wedding Movie He Did, The One With the Horse-Faced Chick and The Other One With Kate Hudson, I started wondering what it takes to come up with a movie like this. The formula seemed pretty simple: a pun or two, a cutesy tagline, an infuriating title and a picture of McConaughey smirking like he was just crowned the Douche King of Dipshit Mountain. Using this algorithm and utilizing the army over at Twitter, I’ve come up with the next 10 movies that Matthew McConaughey is likely to make.
By Baqi.
[Love it because it combines miserable, overplayed Matty Mac movies with miserable, overplayed body-switching movies. Throw in a sassy black stereotype and you've got a hat trick of shitty Hollywood ideas.]
By Cracked.com Super Intern Randall.
By Cracked.com PS Contest Superstar BishopWhitet.
By someone named Ryan.
[I love this.]
This entry was posted on Friday, April 17th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Matthew McConaughey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 3rd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
The sad thing is that Playing with fire and Knead to know sound like movies that someone will probably make.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:40 am
I liked the gay vampire one
October 19th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I loved these!!!! that’s a moray priceless!
October 17th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
This was too funny!! I was actually doing research on him for a role we were considering him for. he looks like the character Funky Koval, but if you guys all hate him so much.. i don’t know i guess it may not be such a good idea after all. I left a fake email, so pls don’t try to respond, but if you are interested about the upcoming movie, you can follow us on twitter under FunkyKoval. i was laughing so hard when i saw the poster with dakota fanning.
Friggin’ brilliant! Who ever wrote all these , you should be writing for SNL!
R.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
OMG I laughed so hard I was gasping for air, especially at the Nun movie and the THAT’s A MORAY one. great work.
September 26th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
That last one is absolutely HYSTERICAL! I laughed SO hard. Great job!
September 26th, 2009 at 10:58 am
That was funny and Matthew “can’t keep my shirt on” McConaughey is a douchebag.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Thats a Moray, HAHAHA. I laughed so hard.
August 31st, 2009 at 1:42 pm
AHAHAHA. That was one of the funniest things i have ever seen.
WELL DONE!
August 30th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
lol Nien on the Field that one fuckin got me good job dude
August 26th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
…But he still has needs. Oh my fucking God! I haven’t laughed that hard in a looooong time.
August 23rd, 2009 at 9:25 am
i think i just vomitted my liver laughing
August 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am
lol, i liked the cold feet one the best. the family affair is kind of disturbing. matthew is hot!!Tho he does make the same movies over and over. totally a typeset.
August 3rd, 2009 at 1:24 am
FUCKING BIRLLIANT
July 27th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
This is made so much funnier by the fact that THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE MOVIES ARE LIKE. I am so tempted to show this to all of my girlfriends who love Matthew McConaughey’s movies, but I’m afraid they would probably just punish me by making me watch “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days” over and over.
July 24th, 2009 at 5:19 am
That’s a Moray- brilliant. My boss is giving me the skunk eye because I can’t stop laughing.
July 13th, 2009 at 9:50 am
“That’s not where the moon would be.”- Sience.
Mega lol!
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
My stomach hurts from laughing throughout the entire article!! Ohmagawd. The fake reviews were the best part, you should make another something similar.
June 27th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Horse face? or is it Dee Snider?
June 26th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Failure to Act is my favorite. IMO both actors suck. Matthew McConaughey with his grin and constant shirt removal and Nic Cage with his whispertalk, side mouth talk and stupid face.
June 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Thats not where the moon should be.
–Science
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
One of the funniest Cracked articles I’ve read in a long time. “More like Shitler” is awesome.
June 22nd, 2009 at 5:07 am
I laughed out loud for almost the entire duration of reading those. That’s A Moray is pure genius as well.
June 20th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
The Family Affair thing is funny but also kind of creepy….I would just let him fuck a hooker…
June 19th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I echo Thicket’s posd, 100%
June 18th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
“That’s A Moray” made me laugh for about twenty minutes straight.
Goddamn.
June 16th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
oh. my. god. these are so absolutely fucking hilarious. like oh. my. god.
what? I was being serious. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic
June 11th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
[...] before I go, another movie I’d love to see, from Cracked (please click, awesome link with a dozen other awesome [...]
June 10th, 2009 at 4:13 am
Ive never heard of the guy
June 6th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Oh my shit! This is all kinds of funny.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Holy shit I’m laughing so hard. I won’t be surprised if these movies come out!!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
That’s a Moray got me HARD.
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:28 am
[...] Det här var förbannat roligt. Bara för att ett meningslöst blogginlägg inte är ett meningslöst blogginlägg utan en meningslös humorlänk. [...]
June 1st, 2009 at 6:42 pm
More like . This movie sucked. The fake reviewer quotes are hilarious.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:09 am
I think I speak for everyone when I say WTF?
I can’t stop laughing, I never noticed his stupid annoying smirk before, but now that I think about it, it’s pretty obvious.
Bloody Brilliant job, I wouldn’t be suprised if they actually made some of these
May 28th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I’m laughing hysterically!
May 27th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
These were all good, but the last one almost made me crap my pants with laughter!
May 25th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Okay. First thing you should do is find the comment that Jason made, further down…. further… bit more… okay there. Then click the link. Failing this, find Tip Toes on YouTube. Then prepare to vomit uncontrollably and have the overwhelimng urge to gouge your eyes out with the nearest blunt object. Also expect the screams of one thousand ghosts of the deepest pits of hell to penetrate your ears. Then throw yourself into oncoming traffic in a blind, half dead shamble to the most relief you could possibly EVER experience.
May 25th, 2009 at 1:00 am
Sweet crap that was funny. I recently started working at a theatre and want to make giant copies of those and post them around to see if anyone notices. 10 bucks says Matthew McConaughey makes movies so bad that they wont.
May 24th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
How did Ndnd get involved with this nonsense? Lrrr would not be pleased.
May 21st, 2009 at 11:59 pm
that’s a moray.
rad.
May 19th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
i laughed so hard i cryed
May 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
[...] 1) I am lonely over in my corner ostracized as the only person on the planet who doesn’t hate X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I think to keep some perspective, we should remind ourselves that at least it’s wasn’t a Matthew McConaughey movie. I mean, you could have bought your ticket, sat down and been treated to one of these… [...]
May 16th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
OMFG. The guy who made the “That’s a moray” one deserves a freaking MEDAL.
May 16th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
great job. That is not an easy pun to make work. I am impressed.
May 15th, 2009 at 11:15 am
hahahahahhahaha - “how is this a realistic conflict?”
LOVE IT
May 15th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Sorry, but could I get the name of the movie where two male vampires fuck each other?
May 13th, 2009 at 4:30 am
[...] zwar zu den nächsten 10 Filmplakaten von Matthew McConaughey.Meine Besprechung des Plakates zu “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” findet ihr [...]
May 12th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Matthew lives his dream in:
‘Mike Hunt gets a sex change!’
He’s got the balls to go through with it - do you have $12.50 to waste?!
XOXO! http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=7&sku=ENGL-CD00299
May 12th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Pure Gold !
But you forgot the one set in outback Australia …
‘He was the wild outback wrangler - she was just out of rehab …
‘OUT, BACK BUT STILL NO CRACK’
Coming to a movie theatre near you.
May 10th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Jesus Christ, I couldn’t get past “Adolf Hitler is resurrected by God” before I had fallen out of my chair in laughter.
I love you.
May 10th, 2009 at 2:30 am
Seriously if you took matthew maconahay out of that hitler one, I would fucking see it.
May 9th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
MORE LIKE SHITLER!
That one will never die!
May 6th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I love Matthew McConaughey. I am going to marry him someday. Oh, indeed, I will.
May 6th, 2009 at 5:51 am
The new movie’s poster might be bad, but the movie is much, much worse.
I can’t believe how horrible it actually was, and that I had to sit through it all. Every minute watching Matt McConaughey’s smarmy leer and stilted lines made me want to punch him in the face, and I am not a violent person.
The only good thing about the movie was his naked chest, but even then my enjoyment of that was ruined by him opening his mouth.
And of course my undying love of the Cracked.com staff.
I wish I’d taken your advice and ignored this one too, Dan.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
hahaahahaha funniest thing ive seen in a while
cant stop laughinggg
May 5th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I love how D.O.B. Is so lazy that he has everyone basically write his articles for him.
(cept his full articles those are the funniest things I have ever seen)
May 3rd, 2009 at 12:12 am
that’s a moray made me laugh, drool, and cry XD!!!
May 1st, 2009 at 2:40 pm
”Thats a moray” hahahahaha the best thing i’ve read all week
May 1st, 2009 at 12:35 am
[...] The Matthew McConaughey + romantic comedy formula was recently cracked by a popular humor blog that offered some frighteningly plausible ideas. Considering [...]
April 30th, 2009 at 11:48 am
HE’S GOT A LITTLE FAMILY…SHE’S GOT A BIG HEART
100% real movie from 2003:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukRdEVthmWM&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fhome&feature=player_embedded
April 29th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
LOL! This is a scathing crack at a guy whose career needs to end instantly. I know this was intended as satire, but these poster are a very close resemblance to many of the inane films he has made.
April 29th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Someone might have already noticed this, but in teh grinning stupidly poster, one of the floating heads is actually Josh Lucas, the poor mans McConaughey
Those made me lol
April 29th, 2009 at 11:40 am
I just forwarded “That’s a Moray!” to everybody in my address book. Un-fuckin-believably funny!
April 29th, 2009 at 3:36 am
I cried laughing at “That’s A Moray!”
April 28th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Dear god, “That’s A Moray” and “Nein on the Field” were freaking genius.
April 27th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
this is kinda funny thou
but fareal now why yall some haterz
let a fine man make his money and his entertaining movies, we dont always want to see ugly old beat ass actors talk about deep ass shit-sumtimes i just wanna a fine man taking his shirt off and working at a bar- on a beach- being charming and sexy and lovable.
April 27th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Damzzz yall be taking hella time and energy to hate on a beaaaautiful man like McConaughey! HATERZ!! Maybe if yall HATERZZZZ ran and did lunges and worked on your tan you can be half as fine as him and then i’d pay 11.75 to see you grin and get outta the ocean AGAIn anD agAIN and AGAIN!
Sincerely
Not Hatin’ just drooling
ANonanmouz!
April 27th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Serious props good sir.
You may be the one original thing I stumble today!
April 26th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
[...] YTMND - Tom Cruise Kills Oprah The Awful Secrets of 25 Famous Cartoon Characters | Cracked.com Matthew McConaughey’s Next 10 Movie Posters | Cracked.com What 23 Famous Movie Characters Would be Doing Today | [...]
April 25th, 2009 at 3:12 am
Down for the count
Hahaha I’m crying from laughing right now
April 24th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Omg! A family Affair! That shit is funny!
April 24th, 2009 at 8:49 am
He’s a gay proctologist, she’s a lesbian gynecologist, but somehow they found each other. Matther McConaughey and Anne Hathaway in Hole New Game.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:26 am
I’m a week late to this, but the Hitler one, the comment at the end of the gay vampire one, and the one with Nicholas Cage, all had me LOLing. “I don’t even remember making this movie.”
April 24th, 2009 at 2:34 am
the second to nun poster woulda been decent if the text wasn’t gay
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
[...] See the rest - http://www.cracked.com [...]
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Thank you for this. I can’t stop laughing.
(Kudos to Baqi for the “Family Affair” poster!!)
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Ryan deserves a medal. So does AaronPDX and jekelish. This was just too funny.
I’d recommend DOB for a medal, but I think me might already have been awarded everything…
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:58 pm
He is a barber that can’t speak spanish, she is a spanish teacher that has out-of-style hair. This summer, Matthew McConaughey and Cameron Diez will be asking each other: ‘comb’o estas?
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:52 pm
wtf is ur problem…he makes money because he brings in money….like every other actor…ur fucking retarded
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Man, these things are dangerously funny and easy to do!
Hillary Swank is a princess running away from her arranged marriage. Matthew McConaughey is an opera singer who’s just lost his voice! Hopefully a weekend in Rome will have them both… Singin’ in the Reign!
He’s a down on his luck poker pro. She’s a sassy waitress who’s been dealt a bad hand. This Valentine’s Day Matthew McConaughey Kate Hudson and are going… All In.
Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Aniston are newlyweds who just inherited a dairy farm. If they want to succeed in both marriage and the fast-paced New Jersey cheese business they’ll have to use… All the Right Moooves.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
This is some great stuff, funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks.
But after seeing the Family Affair one, I’m convinced that Dakota Fanning will play Cameron Diaz’s daughter at some point in the future, and it’ll probably be a lame body-switching comedy.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
Ha I love coming up with theses its so easy.
Hes a veterinarian. Shes wants her racing horses sperm preserved. One hilarious accident later and Matthew McConaughey is “Beating a Dead Horse”.
Hes a brilliant scientist. Shes a morbidly obese woman who can’t stop eating. This summer Matthew McConaughey is “Mind Over Fatter”.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:56 am
I laughed so hard at “Nein on the Field” I almost choked to death!
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:23 am
3 words…
Win Win Win
April 21st, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I don’t think I remembered the last time I laughed harder.
“That’s a moray!”
HAHAHAHAHA
April 21st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Failure to Act HAHAHAH
April 21st, 2009 at 2:08 pm
They met on the internet - no one thought their love would last -but this summer they’ll show you “How Tweet It Is”
aw damn, i’m sorry
April 21st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
you guys are seriously jealous of somebody or somebodies life!
April 21st, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Nein On The Field looks awesome. That’s a movie of his I’d actually pay to see instead of just downloading.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:11 am
Hlaawwwl. I hate Matthew McConaughey’s movies with equal vigor. Well done sir, five stars!
April 21st, 2009 at 3:42 am
Ah Sweet Haysoos, that’s brilliant!!!!
April 21st, 2009 at 1:33 am
This is truely hillarious
April 20th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I can’t stop lauging, this is hillarious!!
April 20th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
HAHAHAHAH brilliant!
April 20th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
[...] dans les affiches des films de Monsieur McConaey MacConoghay Matthew, le site d’humour Cracked m’a devancé en publiant un article désopilant sur le phénomène. Je me demande ce que le [...]
April 20th, 2009 at 8:52 am
AMAZING!
this literally made my day.
thank you so much.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:34 am
Funny, funny, funny. Who knows, like some of those who commented said, maybe some studio is working on “Playing with Fire” or “Knead to Now”. What else have you been working on?
April 20th, 2009 at 6:28 am
“knead to know” is brilliant. you should write a treatment for it. probably take about 20 mins.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:13 am
I bet some studio executive is presenting “Playing with fire”, “Second To Nun”, “Cold Feet” and “Knead To Know” to a studio somewhere in hollywood right now, God help us!!, one and all!!, when the reveloution comes McConanaghy will pay for his crimes, mark my words!
April 20th, 2009 at 3:30 am
oh my god, this was one of the funniest thing EVER on cracked!!! Amazing job DOB, this one is a masterpiece!
April 19th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
This is funny shit, Hi swife and daughter switched bodies, but he still has needs take the cake!.
lol
April 19th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
LOL, the credits were my favorite part. I almost lizzed when I saw “Kevin Pollack Sydney Pollack and Mr. Pollack”, “Edited by: Editor” and Martin Scorcese directing “Matthew McConagay Grins Stupidly for 90 Minutes”.
April 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Yep. It is possible to shit yourself from laughter, thanks Cracked!
April 19th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
hAHAHA FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 19th, 2009 at 11:04 am
when is cold feet out?
April 19th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Seriously…these are all real, right?…RIGHT?!
April 19th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Brilliant!
But “Down for the Count”? Brrrrrrr … ick … bleh! A chill went up my spine.
April 19th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Thanks Science, for showing us the light.
This is spectacular.
April 19th, 2009 at 5:03 am
I’d watch “A Family Affair”. “Back to the Future” was two decades ago. It’s time to push the envelope further.
April 19th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Failure to Act - “I don’t even remember making this movie.”
Fuck, I have permanently injured myself laughing at this!
April 18th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
this is fucking hilarious and ridiculously accurate, i guarantee you we’ll see at least four of those in the next year.
April 18th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
That’s a moray. Fucking yes.
April 18th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Nein on the Field…BRILLIANT!!!!
April 18th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
That’s A Moray made me cry with laughter.
April 18th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Yep. Stupid puns and smirks. You nailed that prediction.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
people, please! we are forgetting Matt McConaughey piqued very early in his carrer! Am I the ONLY person who remembers his role in Dazed and Confused? His work was sheer genius! Too bad it was his first movie…
April 18th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
this made me laugh loudly and hysterically. now everyone is staring at me weirdly.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
oh man the family affair one got me going
April 18th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Good old Cracked stuff. Nice to laugh while economy is bad. Here are more fun videos, “Never Too Broke to Joke” http://tv1.com/playlists/104
April 18th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
those were all great but i couldnt stop laughing at That’s A Moray.
April 18th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
This is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen.
April 18th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Funniest thing I’ve read in a while!
April 18th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
haha ive got to say the ctrl-c romcom.doc one made me laugh for minutes straight.
April 18th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
The credits for Down for the Count were fucking hilarious.
April 18th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Yay, puns! I love puns so much, I even came up with the That’s A Moray one myself, a couple of years ago, in an entirely different context.
If you want other puns I have made, you could always have films starring Matthew McConaughey as Brittle Richard, Salmon Rushdie, or Max Plank the wooden physicist (with his sidekick Niels Board).
Anyone else steal any of those and I will cheese-grate your balls off.
April 18th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Oh my god, Dan, those puns were SOOOO bad, that there is a mark of a palm now on my face. And I need to go to a dinner soon. Shit.
April 18th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Hilarious post!
Don’t forget one of his other epics:
The Wedding Planner
“His big day is her big problem”
April 18th, 2009 at 11:08 am
‘Grins stupidly for 90 minutes’ is hilarious. As I write this I am still in a fit of giggles and wiping tears of laughter from my eyes.
April 18th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I’ve read just about every article on this site. This might be the funniest one of them all. I farted three times from laughing so hard.
April 18th, 2009 at 10:01 am
That last one is unadulterated genius
April 18th, 2009 at 9:04 am
-”That’s not where the moon would be.” - Science
-That’s A Moray
two funniest things ive seen in a long time. this article is amazing.
April 18th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Those are freaking GOLD. But the sad truth is at least 4 of those will be made and in theaters.
April 18th, 2009 at 8:30 am
“That’s not where the moon would be.” -Science.
Many tears of mirth were shed.
April 18th, 2009 at 7:34 am
That a moray one made me pee a little I laughed so hard…
April 18th, 2009 at 6:26 am
well done! But Matthew McConaughey used to make good movies, we swear! remember ‘A Time to Kill’ or ‘Contact’? he doesn’t… neither does Samuel L Jackson, for that matter. “Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell!”
April 18th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Wow a couple of those actually looked like they could be real..
April 18th, 2009 at 5:21 am
It just occurred to me that “All In The Family” works a lot better than “A Family Affair.”
But too little, too late.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:56 am
You forgot the Sahara clone, Pounding Sand.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:47 am
I bet there’s a doujin out there with the plot of A Family Affair.
The thought scares me.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:06 am
That was hilarious, especially the ‘Failure to Act’ one.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:47 am
This was absolutely hilarious.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:47 am
On that whole “grins stupidly for 90-minutes” bit…as long as he does it shirtless, people would still pay to watch. I’m just sayin’. That’s America.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:39 am
Awesome! The guy totally cannot act! Great call.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:30 am
wow. this was fucking hilarious. hahahahahahaha
April 18th, 2009 at 3:20 am
That’s a moray was really funny for the great pun and terrible conflict, but I’m going to be thinking about family affair for the next month. Does he fuck his wife in his daughter’s body, or his daughter in his wife’s body?
April 18th, 2009 at 3:20 am
gotta love that nic cage comment.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:00 am
The critic review quotes were priceless.
Especially:
“I don’t even remember making this movie.” - Nicolas Cage
-A.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:00 am
Heh yeh I liked the mother-daughter wifeswapping ‘he has needs’ and the moray alot haha
April 18th, 2009 at 1:50 am
“Ralph (Matthew McConaughey) is a short-order cook who doesn’t wash his hands. Lindsey (some over-exposed actress) is a stank ho with an eating disorder. Will life hurl them some love, in ‘How To Lose A Lunch in Ten Minutes’?”
April 18th, 2009 at 1:36 am
[...] Click & Scroll down to see more movie posters…lol [...]
April 18th, 2009 at 1:23 am
This was HONESTLY the funniest I’ve read in ages - just woke up the neighbors lauging!
April 18th, 2009 at 1:17 am
“That´s a moray”… Jesus Christ that´s funny!
April 18th, 2009 at 1:16 am
“Down for the Count” was great, but “That’s A Moray” made me laugh so hard I cried.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Ryan, “That’s A Moray” is great. LMAO!
April 17th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb.
Though you have to admit, Reign of Fire came totally out of left field.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Great short article, but I think the fan submissions were better than the ones Cracked came up with. Ny favrite was The Scrabble Movie, and as the son of a scuba diver, That’s a Moray!
April 17th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Good lord that is just too hilarious!!!!
April 17th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
“That’s a Moray!” - Best. Pun. EVER! And the rest of the article was fun too, probably because I’ve seen so many damn Matthew McConaughey movies. I don’t even know why I watch them. He’s so rubbish.
Well, I’m gonna go watch How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Family is very interesting, if you love incest.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Seriously, all of those were great. Hopefully the Hollywood studios don’t get any ideas from them…
April 17th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Holy shit, this is one of the best articles on Cracked, even though they’re all good. I want to quote everything I loved, but it’ll take up too much space. My favourite 3:
“I don’t even remember making this” - Nicholas Cage
Matthew McConaughey… GRINS STUPIDLY FOR 90 MINUTES!
“Second To Nun”
I’m dead set on the floor over here!
April 17th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Is it just me or anyone else think “family affairs” its a interesting movie
?
April 17th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Oh man. I cried hot, sweaty tears of joy and joyness.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
The puns keep piling up, yet they keep getting FUNNIER!
Dan, I like your stuff, but this one was comment-worthy. Well done!
April 17th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Did anyone realize that the credits on the poster of “Out of This World” were for “Jaws”? It’s that or I need to check what else Peter Benchley has written.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
[...] fun of Matthew McConaughey. The bongo thing is dead. Here, instead, let us mock his actual career! (Oh, Dan O’Brien. Where would this weekly bit be without you and your [...]
April 17th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
I think this is hysterical! As a movie poster collector I can really appreciate these.
Ralph DeLuca - Movie Poster Expert
Madison, NJ
April 17th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
please make that seanbaby thing blow you.
maybe he’ll get some talent.
another pure gold DOB moment in internet history.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
That’s the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while. Thanks for making me laugh.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
literal lols on every one. Funniest Cracked I’ve seen in months!
April 17th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
this was fucking epic!!!! I still cant stop laughing
April 17th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
“douche king of dipshit mountain”
you’ve out-done yourself this time, dob.
that’s the hardest i’ve laughed all day.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I started laughing as soon as I saw the first few posters…and that laughter slowly turned to shrieks of horror when I realized that those exact movies will probably become actual Hollywood concepts in the near future.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
(linkback) Funny or Lame? Matthew McConaughey’s Next 10 Movie Posters [VOTE] - http://www.pikk.com/72fd8
April 17th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
It would have been just a tad bit better if the baker movie had been titled “Knead to Nough”, I think. I hate puns, but if you’re going for it, go for both ends.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
LOL! These were freaking hilarious! And it’s so true too.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I wish I could read the fine print on all of these; it’s hard to make it out on a few but the ones I could read (especially “Down for the Count”) were hilarious.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
DOB, just as a counterbalance, I’ve thought both your Twitter things were SO goddamn funny. The story one was frickin’ HILARIOUS.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Too funny, your not right, I love his dumb movies, he has a really sexy voice.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
At first when I saw the picture of the Jennifer Garner movie, I thought, “Oh, that’s a really good photoshop, I guess Cracked is putting more effort into their articles.”
And then I realized.
THIS ISN’T A JOKE.
I now live in fear of the advertisements soon to come.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
You could have found a better picture of mr.cage.
oh yeah, lol funy i lgh;d su hrd i nrly sht mi pantsz.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Down for the Count…OMG I lul’d hard on that one
hahahaha
April 17th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
so funny cause it’s true. I think I saw failure to act at blockbuster today.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
that shit is so fuckin funny
April 17th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Brilliant!!!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
GENIUS!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
i luv the family affair poster! bahaah!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
“This is the gayest vampire movie ever, including that movie that was literally about two male vampires fucking each other.”
That made me cry for like 5 minutes.
Kudos.
I am at a loss for words…kudos.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
That’s A Moray! is fucking beautiful! Jesus Christ! I love this web site!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
‘another shitty movie’ is priceless
April 17th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
popurls.com // popular today…
story has entered the popular today section on popurls.com…
April 17th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
This is genius. I think I’m going to look at this every day until I die.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
LOL - that was awesome.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Huh, just realized I said Jack off.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Seriously, while this was funny, I look forward to articles where YOU actually do the writing. Last weeks article was gold, but what do we get this week? You using Twitter and pictures again. Haven’t you pissed Jack off recently, or done something other than logging in to Twitter? Please DOB, for the sake of your fans everywhere, go piss on Jack’s desk and call him a nickname, I beg of you.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Wow, “That’s A Moray” is fucking brilliant. That’s got to be the best fake movie poster ever.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
i read all of the titles out to the “rob schneider movie” voice which made them all seem that much more awesome. now all i need is a record to scratch at the appropriate moment.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Doctorchaos,
He uses Nein instead of Neun because:
1. It’s funny for people who don’t speak german.
2. It’s even funnier for people who do.
Alas to find it funny you gotta have a sense of humour.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
almost all are good, but ‘a family affair’ made me laugh the hardest. probably because i never saw a bodyswitching movie i liked.
matthew should fire his agent and go make a non-romcom movie. the genre wouldn’t really matter, just stay clear of the shoehorned-in romantic subplot.
if tom hanks can do it he can do it too.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Oh yea also, despite the trucklods of pure shit he has produced, “A Time to Kill’ and “Amistad” were great films and he did a good job in both of them, and even “Sahara” was good for what it was. Matt could also be a really good action movie star if he didn’t keep doing stupid romantic comedies.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
This is going to surprise the living fuck out of you all but I more or less liked this contribution from DOB.
Perhaps it was the lack of movie-script type format, and no attempt to be sophisticatedly humourous, or perhaps it’s because it had so many pictures, but overall it was a good entertaining effort.
I can’t leave without throwing a couple of criticisms at it though.
Firstly: Nein on the field? Really. Seriously. Haven’t you ever read a Commando comic, or watched old war movies. Nein means “NO!”, so that poster basically syas “No, on the field, whcih could also be translated as Keep of the Grass”. Which just doesn’t make sense. If however you bothered researching a little you’d find that the german word for NINE (the number of fielding baseball players on the field at any one time), is in fact NEUN, pronounced “noin”. So “Neun on the field” still works out OK as a title.
Secondly: This is a well presented article, and Kudos to the photoshop guys, but come on, it’s thematically a total rip-off of the Nicholas Cage article from here less than a month ago, so negative several million for originality.
Good effort though, better than the last few things you’ve done.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
That’s A Moray! is fucking amazing.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Fucking genius mate… continue
April 17th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Life seems easy for a young man with pussy on his mind and stars in his eyes, but everyone grows up someday. He’s a middle aged slacker who learning the hard way that with age comes responsibility. She’s an fairly attractive but uptight proctologist, who has focused on her career rather than persue romatic interests. Can they both learn to “loosen up” enough for love?
Matthew McConaughey and Sandra Bullock star in “Punch Drunk Glove”.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
I like to suck on my own toes while masturbating to Matthew McConaughey movies.
DOB how dare you attack the cinematic genius of McConaughey!!
April 17th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I can’t digg this enough.
April 17th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
This has to be one of the funniest things i ever read….
I was in tears when I saw “Down for the Count” and “Thats A Moray”
lolololololololol
April 17th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
That’s A Moray..lolol.
Embarrassingly enough, Matthew McConaughey is from my hometown.
…Douche King of Dipshit Mountain.
April 17th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
“More like SHITLER. This movie sucked.”
Awesomeness.
April 17th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
“Daniel O’Brien Says: I don’t think I’d be alright with myself if I didn’t mention that I liked Matty Mac in A Time to Kill, despite how over-the-top and Sandra Bullock-filled that movie was at some points. He was pretty great in it, particularly his big speech at the end. I think that’s why I don’t have a problem making fun of his stupid face. He’s talented, but he keeps making these miserable romantic comedies.”
I concur. Personally, I thought he was fantastic in “Frailty.”
I did a bit of LOLing on this one, though!
And for those of you who were bashing DOB for his photoshop skills, please take note that they were submitted by readers (their names are right with their submissions), and not ’shopped by Dan himself.
The added comments to the pics, though, I’m pretty sure ARE Dan’s work. And I mean that in a good way. =)
April 17th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I LOLed so hard at That’s A Moray.
April 17th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Thanks for the laugh. This was freaking hysterical!
April 17th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Every time I see Matthew McConaughey, I want to punch him in the face. This was before knowing who he was or having seen any of his movies. Just his face. It makes me want to hit him.
April 17th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
While most of his movies do suck, I did like Frailty a lot.
April 17th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I bet DoB had fun with the puns.
April 17th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Oh my God, DOB.
Oh my God.
I work at Blockbuster, and you have just published the physical embodiment of my feelings.
Every time we get one of that failure at life’s movies, I always have to disappoint people who ask me about it by saying I didn’t watch it.
“But why not? He’s so hot!”
“Because the sound of his voice makes me want to FIREBOMB A NURSING HOME.”
April 17th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
we’re in luck! looks like his best work so far!
Hang on…
*hits head against wall*
That’s better.
*vomits*
April 17th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Hopefully he’s in fucking douchebag prison.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I don’t think I can read the columns until I know that Doctor Chaos has put his opinion in the comment section. He’s awesomely douche-tastic. Where is he today?
April 17th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Knead to Know, my god that is so bad. Failure to Act poster fails to capture the ridiculousness of Nicholas Cage’s hair.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Funny Dan, but I liked Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused and Reign of Fire.
Growing up where I did there were so many douchebags like David Wooderson and as far as the character Denton Van Zan in Reign of Fire , well we needed guys like that to fight all the dragons that were around.
As a matter of fact I’m back on painkillers again because I hurt my back. I just can’t remember if it was before or after I fought that dragon.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:36 am
@Vancha
That joke is in there. Read the little white writing.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:35 am
The shame about Matthew McConau…him, is that he did some good films in the 90’s.
Well one.
A Time To Kill was awesome (of course it did have Samuel L Jackson who is the epitome of awesomeness) and despite having Sandra Bullock in, there was no stupid love back story.
Maybe there was.
I was too busy waiting for Samuel L Jackson to say ‘motherfucka’ to care.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am
“Failure to Act” just made my entire day.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:15 am
“I don’t even remember making this movie” made me snort.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:14 am
You missed a good opportunity for a Twilight joke with Down For The Count. “The gayest vampire movie since Twilight.”
April 17th, 2009 at 10:39 am
I gotta admit, I’d watch Down for the Count.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:37 am
realize, I would watch the shit out of Nein on the Field. Hand to god, that looks like a great movie.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Maddox did it first.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am
This summer: Matthew McConaughey is a hopelessly forgettable actor with love on the brain. Caught between romance with sum ugly chick, and the talent agency who continues to screw him over, can Matt escape his one schtick job and find the perfect woman to save his career?
Matthew McConaughey is Matthew McConaughey in:
“Matthew McConaughey - Enough is enough”
I cant wait for this movie to come out!
April 17th, 2009 at 10:17 am
I just wanna point out that Nein on the Field was my submission.
April 17th, 2009 at 10:13 am
By the way, for those who are curious, all of the photoshops were done by DOB…the taglines and movie titles were submitted by people on Twitter. And the photoshops are hilarious, if you ask me. Which, ya know, you didn’t. So screw off!
April 17th, 2009 at 10:10 am
@Buchachoes BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA THAT was great!
now on to my comment….matthew McConaughey IS the Nicolas Cage of the romantic comedy genre…….
April 17th, 2009 at 10:04 am
So… much… Twitter…
DOB! THIS is your website! Why are you abandoning us? ;_;
April 17th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Matthew McConaughey stars as a loveable outcast who just can’t seem to turn his bad luck into good. Trying to find love in all the wrong places, he stumbles through life smiling on the outside, while withering away within, until one fateful day when he finds a pair of magical coat tails to ride into the blissful light of semi-stardom. Matthew McConaughey in “Still not Sandler: The Rob Schneider Story”
April 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I was hoping for more of an article, but those pictures were great. I loved “Failure to Act”.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
This is one of the funniest article I’ve ever read. Thank you baby Jesus.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:43 am
come on jekelish….sydney pollack is dead…uncool man
April 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Awesome.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:36 am
oh dear god - a Cage / McConaughey team up? It’s such a perfect storm of awful that now I really wanna watch that. Also, cheers DOB on spelling his damn name right. That’s more than I can do without looking it up.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I hate to admit it, but I think Nein on the Field would be fucking sweet. I’d watch that.
And you know the saddest thing about all these posters? The Omicron Persei 8 monster from Futurama is STILL a zillion times hotter than Sarah Jessica Parker.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:25 am
First of all, @buzzy Yes he was in Tropic of Thunder, he was Ben Stiller’s agent in the movie.
Second of all: DOB, if you and Brockway are gonna keep using your readers’ comedy skills to help you come up with idea’s I suggest you take the Photoshop contest approach and start paying us a commission, or else we’ll strike against you the next time you ask for an obscure combination words in twitter form. Have a nice day : )
April 17th, 2009 at 9:12 am
He wasn’t even in Tropic of Thunder, what are you talking about?
April 17th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I don’t think I’d be alright with myself if I didn’t mention that I liked Matty Mac in A Time to Kill, despite how over-the-top and Sandra Bullock-filled that movie was at some points. He was pretty great in it, particularly his big speech at the end. I think that’s why I don’t have a problem making fun of his stupid face. He’s talented, but he keeps making these miserable romantic comedies.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Surely it should be ‘Out For The Count’, what with it being gay and him outing himslef for the love of a vampire etc.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am
lol,
You’re not actually mocking Dan for mocking Matthew. That may be the motive (why you want to defend his honor I have no idea, perhaps you’re a secretly a homo for him LOL!), but it’s not what you’re doing. You’re mocking Dan for not getting laid as much as you, despite the fact that you would have no clue abot his sex life. Even if it were true, it’s not a competition and that you think it is, well I’ve explained my feelings on that.
Oh, and sorry about all the words, it’s just sometimes I like to express myself without trying to jam as much common phrases (well oiled machine, get with the program, back of the bus) into a single setence as possible. I just think it makes me sound less vacuous.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:03 am
The ‘Out of This World’ poster just makes me think,
“This concept of wuv confuses and INFURIATES US!”
April 17th, 2009 at 8:58 am
To be fair, he was hillarious in Tropic Thunder. I hadn’t ever seen someone stop a bazooka rocket with a TiVo. I don’t think I’ll ever will again.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Very amusing - but he’s still HOT!
April 17th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Truth time: I would go see “Failure to Act.”
DOB as lazy as it is to let your twits write your column, I cannot fault the humor. Some of those tag lines are comedic platinum.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:47 am
I love tho review quotes underneath
April 17th, 2009 at 8:33 am
I, for one, would be morally ok with that movie.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:29 am
Well I don’t know ’bout you, but after reading this article I’m grinning stupidly.
Very, very funny!
April 17th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Personally, I was fond of the “Second to Nun” poster. Great work!
April 17th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Superdoctorchaos P.I.
Dude it’s the Internet not War & Peace the term TL;DR ring a bell?
I’m knocking Dan for Knocking Matthew… You mock others for mocking something it’s how the Internet works.
It’s a well oiled machine get with the program or get to the back of the bus.
April 17th, 2009 at 8:06 am
The “Failure to Act” poster is GREAT!… Look closely at the other “actors” starring in the movie… hilarious. And is it saying that it’s directed by Brad Garrett?
One of my favorite bits ever!
April 17th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Holy shit! That was FUNNY!
..grins for 90 minutes! WIN!
April 17th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Good job man, solid Blog. You and Swaim should eat Robert Brockway and shit out Ross Wolinsky.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:47 am
That was hilarious.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Every time Matthew MCConaghey get’s an acting role, there’s a plank of 2×4 somewhere crying it’s eyes out in jealousy.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Oh, and I lauged so hard, I peed a little. Does that sentence deserve a comma? I’m not sure?
“Douche King of Dipshit Mountain” is the best line I have read on here…and that includes “Because FUCK trees, that’s why” (my former favorite)
April 17th, 2009 at 7:41 am
I kept thinking what was weird was how he wouldn’t let any of these gorgeous women anywhere near his man-parts….”Nope, ladies, you are relegated to hanging around the backdoor”.
Is he trying to protect is abs from possible bruising? Or is he unaware that lady love doesn’t work that way without manmade equiptment?
April 17th, 2009 at 7:35 am
“That’s not where the moon would be.-Science”
holy shit. i laughed.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:34 am
Classic! “Failure to Act”, awesome. And the Omicronian and Mathew poster was great.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Awesome!
You really are embracing Twitter to the full, eh DOB?
Keep it up!
April 17th, 2009 at 7:26 am
best blog ever
April 17th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Personally I loved the one that pointed out how creepy it was that jekelish made quite so many of these…
“Jekelish and Hide”? Kudos to whoever thought of that.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:14 am
Superdoctorchaos P.I. I like your post.
Lol, you suck. Who gives a shit if you like Matthew McConaughey movies because you claim they get you laid. Certainly nobody here. Also how does an internet article ripping Matthew diminish from that? I think you secretly have a man-crush on Matty and all of us laughing at him really took you down a peg.
Try to be less of a punk.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Wow. People sure do suck at using Photoshop.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Superdoctorchaos P.I, very well said.
And dude, another great article. I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed how idiotically similar all “rom-coms” are. I love the line “smirking like he was just crowned the Douche King of Dipshit Mountain”.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Fucking superb
April 17th, 2009 at 6:54 am
i noticed the awesome photoshop in that nic cage with a flashlight picture really man i want to learn so much from you DOB make me your apprentice
April 17th, 2009 at 6:53 am
hahahaha failure to act. amazing.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:48 am
All romantic comedy posters look like that, though. You could just as easily put Hugh Grant in there.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:48 am
this is too good dob, you’re a real genius, and fuck all that say otherwise
April 17th, 2009 at 6:37 am
good, good stuff.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:23 am
Nic Cage + McConaughey, priceless!
April 17th, 2009 at 6:23 am
I thought it was great. Not sure what people are complaining about, especially the dumbass saying the photoshops weren’t good enough. You’re a moron and by that logic I guess you don’t like any movie that’s in black and white.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:16 am
god the vampire one had me in stitches. and the nic cage one - with the quote at the bottom -was too funny to be legal.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:10 am
u shouldn’t post stuff coming from ur twitter, the only diff. would be this on has pics in it. Use twitter for tweeting and cracked for the stuff u used to do before twitter
i still laughed though
April 17th, 2009 at 6:10 am
He’s a mass murderer with 89 kills to his name. She’s the police investigator who lives next door. Can they get over their differences through the power of love? Find out when Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson star in…Killing Time!
Overall, humorous and informative article!
I’d never noticed how similar his movie posters are!
April 17th, 2009 at 6:05 am
To the user called lol,
Reading your comment made me sad.
Dan posted material mocking movies starring a certain actor because for being forumlaic, and you jump right in there and accuse him of doing it out of jealousy over people who get laid more often. Now obviously you couldn’t really think that because it makes very little sense. You brought it up so you could just let everyone know you’re getting a lot of pussy, as you so charmlessly put it.
That shows that you’re not in it for the sex, you’re in it because you think it’s an achievement, something to high five the guys about. Quite frankly, that’s pathetic. You’re just another one of those notches on the bedpost idiots, who makes something fun like sex into accounting.
I can’t even imagine being boring enough to have to resort to those tactics to try and gain acceptance (or being boring enough to resort to pretending to like Matthew McConaughey movies so that I could talk to girls). It’s just so sad.
You know what’s even worse than bragging about getting laid as if it means something? Bragging about it on the internet, to people who’ll never know you, or care, while calling yourself “lol”.
To add another layer of failure, you are saying this to DOB. The man has brought more happiness to others than you ever could, and he’s funnier than you ever will be (though your joke about him being a homo was very clever…). This means he’ll have no shortage of girls who’ll like him, and girls with senses of humour, not ones who like vapid chick-flicks and a man unable to think of women as anything other than pussies he can try and impress the guys with.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Fucking hell, I can’t stop giggling.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Sorry. Hate to be a hater, but these photoshops really aren’t worth my precious time… Ugh, I sound like Comicbook-guy. But, in my day, back on SomethingAwful, and Fark.com, one could expect a high degree of quality from photoshop. I realize they’re supposed to be funny. But to me, part of being funny means that they’re believable as movie posters. These all kind of suck.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:35 am
[...] Recycling Matthew McConaughey April 17, 2009 Filed under: Uncategorized — Luc @ 9:35 am Damn you Kristina, for sending me this while I’m trying to eat! I choked on my pecan roll. Too funny not to post. Here it is: Matthew McConaughey’s next ten movies. I can’t wait for “Down for the Count”. (Cracked) [...]
April 17th, 2009 at 5:34 am
I don’t really hate Matthew McConaughey but this was hilarious!! My favourite there was Failure to Act and the Nicolas Cage quote at the bottom.
BTW i’m using a fox browser with spell check and its telling me “no spell suggestions” for McConaughey. Even my BROWSER HATES HIM!! LOL!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:26 am
Mine was:
He’s a womanizing surgeon. She has a tumor, and no time for games. To save her life AND their love, Matthew McConaughey will have to “Cut It Out.”
April 17th, 2009 at 5:21 am
very well thought out, i like!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:19 am
I think I saw that Nick Cage movie poster on the NJ Turnpike…
Well done my friend
April 17th, 2009 at 5:18 am
“Out of this world.” Fucking brilliant! But Lurr of the planet Omicron Persei 8 will be upset that King McDouche is doing his wife….
April 17th, 2009 at 5:17 am
Is it bad that I would actually pay to see “Nein on the Field”?
April 17th, 2009 at 5:16 am
Freaking great job.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:09 am
“Failure To Act” - Brilliant!
April 17th, 2009 at 5:09 am
Matt McConaughey and Kate Hudson. Two actors who started out proving that they have the chops to do decent dramas (A Time to Kill, Almost Famous). What the hell happened? Why are they both so fucking lazy that all they’ll do now is romantic comedies with the stupidest, least believable concepts…even by romantic comedies standards? Meg Ryan must rolling over in her grave.
PS
That Drew Barrymore quote had me in stitches.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:09 am
wow. I must have been on drugs.
I deeply repent the words.
I will fall back on my distraught words against the lord.
I must work against Zombies, that must be Gods law!!!!
Who will come after the plague??!!@!!
Yay the Zombies!
but will they have a canoe? ….bitches
April 17th, 2009 at 5:06 am
“that’s not where the moon would be…” - science
love it
April 17th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Lost my shit with
Nein on the Field and of Course….Down For The Count.
I’ll use that one as a pick up line from now on.
“They call me Count Baqula, so tell me BABE, are you ‘Down for the Count?’ ”
I see this working out well for me.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:05 am
I’m a guy and I like Matthew McConaughey Movies they get me laid…. Dan stop being so fucking jealous of the fact people get more pussy then you.
Stop telling women at the bar that I write for cracked thinking they will know what it is. Then spend 10 mins explaining what and who you write for before they give you that awkward head tilt say OOOOKKKK and walk away.
Next time be like hey I have “insert Matthew McConaughey movie here” Back at my place would you like to come home and watch it..
Enjoy the pussy… But since I think you’re secretly a homo it works for gay men too.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:03 am
“This is the gayest vampire move ever, including that movie that was literally about two male vampires fucking each other” put me in a giggle fit.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:00 am
buchachos just won the game lol
April 17th, 2009 at 4:59 am
I zipped over the pics to stop myself from committing “homo” actions.
and having lost the point ….All I wanna do is MUsh his Mushy head into…mushy-ness.
P.S. I dont mind homos, they might be my friends
April 17th, 2009 at 4:55 am
I will join in on this game as soon as I learn not to be a total retard with Photoshop…and I have no idea when that will be.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:54 am
@picklemonster he was involved in a sexual accident that resulted in the death of Will Arnett.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:53 am
Great work all of you, I had many good laughs.
Down for the count was genious
As was the comment for “Head over Wheels”: How is this a realistic conflict?” :D:D:D Liked to Science-quote, too
April 17th, 2009 at 4:49 am
I barely know who Matthew McConaughey is but this article was hilarious. I laughed my ass off with the Nic Cage flashlight reference. Pure Brilliance!
April 17th, 2009 at 4:48 am
Oh, I love madlibs…
“He’s a free-spirit (fart) in New York; She’s a (penis) who is too (boob) to love…”
No wait, I hate madlibs…It’s heroin I love.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:46 am
WHo’s Matthew McConaghey?
April 17th, 2009 at 4:38 am
Shitler is one of the best things I’ve heard in a long time
April 17th, 2009 at 4:35 am
I love the review tags at the bottom of each movie. XD
April 17th, 2009 at 4:25 am
OH GOD! do you realize that some Hollywood executive will see this and make most if not all of these movies!
April 17th, 2009 at 4:22 am
I still liked McConaughey in Frailty and Tropic Thunder. Plus, he’s dreamy! (Swoon!)
April 17th, 2009 at 4:22 am
Matthew M as Adolf Hitler????
hahahhahahaha
April 17th, 2009 at 4:14 am
clever, I enjoyed it
April 17th, 2009 at 4:11 am
I would like to see Nein on the Field.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:07 am
OMG the Down for the Count poster was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time!