This past whenever, a collection of tweens were for reals seen texting behind the Dry Hump Roller Rink on the corner of 5th and Grind. The tweens seemed to think no one could see them texting, but we totes could. Apparently, the back parking lot of this particular roller rink is a hot spot for the local tweenagers to text in an adult-free zone. “The ‘dults just don’t get it,” says Brytnee Halter, top cheerleader at her school and one of the texting tweens. “We may be young, but we’re not kids. That’s why we call adults ‘dults. If we think we’re old enough to text, and texting is one of our fave things to do, then why shouldn’t we?”
Many of the tweens’ parents are appalled by this revelation and have perfectly good reasons why they don’t want their kids texting. “First of all, that texting stuff is expensive,” says Brytnee’s mom Britney. “If I wanted to pay an extra 40 bucks a month, I’d buy real butter. If I didn’t want to pay an extra 40 bucks a month, I’d probably change my plan to include more texting.” She paused briefly, then made a quick phone call to Verizon. Was there a second of all? “Oh, right,” continues Britney. “No.”
Some tweens don’t even text behind the roller rink. They simply watch others text. “My ‘rents won’t let me have a cell phone,” says Jadrian Blaker, a tween who frequents the back of the roller rink to overcome his textual inadequacy. “I understand why not. I’m too young to start texting and I call my parents ‘rents.’ But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t learn how to now, so when I am ready, I’ll be ready, you know?” Jadrian feels so strongly about this, he has even started a new club at school called Learn Or Lose (LOL), which promotes textual awareness. “We’re not promoting texting,” explains Jadrian. “We just think tweens these days should have as much information about it as possible, so they can make an informed decision and whatev happens is whatevs.”
“Oh, wait!” interrupted Brytnee’s mom Britney. “There was a second of all. These tweens today. They think they’re so adult, but they’re sooo not. Don’t make me rofl. That’s a thing, right? Rofl?”
Brytnee is certainly sick of being told what to do, and she will continue texting, whether it’s behind Dry Hump Roller Rink, the Boneview Shopping Center, or in the privacy of her own bedroom. She complains, “I’m at the stage in my life where I’m almost close to becoming closer to the next step towards being a young adult. I mean, OMG, it’s not like I’m husking or something.” Husking, of course, is something that may or may not exist, and it is when two tweens rub their genitals together, sans penetration (or “penetrashe,” as the tweens call it).
“No, I’ve never heard of husking,” says Brytnee’s mom Britney. “All I know is that behind that roller rink is disgusting. These tweens could catch something while they’re texting. I mean, come on! We all know teenagers fuck back there.”
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November 18th, 2009 at 10:38 am
This looks like a little audition piece for The Onion… I expect that when The Onion turned Cody down, they also chased him through the streets with torches and pitchforks. This stuff is not merely unworthy for The Onion, not merely unworthy for Cracked, but indisputably unworthy for the world of the living. Again, I’m not a troll, just a simple man who has been wronged.
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Wow, Cody, you pwn. A fine addition to the cracked team, methinks, and also, this article made me “rofl” (is that right, rofl? that’s a thing, right?) XD
October 29th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Textual awareness? Awesome.
I’m with DeviousDVO, this style of writing is more of a subtle, sarcastic humor. Means you have to have a good sense of humor to enjoy it, I guess.
October 28th, 2009 at 9:48 am
wow, over-analyzation much.
I like it, it’s good.
October 24th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
I totes agree w/DeviousDVO- this is very onionesque- not that that is a bad thing…thing.
funny enough to make it all the way thru: and that is a high compliment coming from a an adhd boy who only recently graduated from tween-hood
October 24th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Dry Hump roller rink.
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
lol dakrockson its a joke, like he exagerates. this isnt what all tweenies do duh rofl
October 20th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Making fun of Ebonics, good job.
October 18th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
This article is more in the style of The Onion, as opposed to the obvious humor that’s usually on this site. And I have no problem with that.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I’m not sure what to make of this. On one hand, It’s near hilarious how he relates to ‘Text’ to ‘Sex’, but on the other hand, it’s way overdone. I’m 14 and I have a cellphone, but I rarely text, considering I’m the kind of person who reads Cracked and doesn’t talk to many people. I find the people who text obsessively are very obnoxious though.
October 15th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Honestly, I just got through with the Jurassic Park article, too, and I have to say, in my opinion, this one is crap in comparison. I don’t think there was a single joke in this article. The jurassic park one, on the other hand, actually made me laugh, because I had never thought of that scene in that way. So, it just goes to show, Cody’s humor affects different people different ways, at different times. What I’m trying to say is, EVERYBODY CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
HOORAY CODY!
I just got through reading that piece of shit article about the kid from Jurassic park. I commented and said, “when you stop posting shit, I will stop commenting.” Thank you cody.
This article is actually not shit. That was all I wanted, a moderatly funny article. You delivered. Do this more consistently and I may come to like you as much as SWAIM.
Ps. I hope DOB kills you in your sleep.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
See, that’s what I’m talking about. I told you you could do better. Thank you.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Only to those of us who know what to look for, sai.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:43 am
As for Morgoth… I thought he was the hero? No? Is my Satanic Freemason G.O.A.T. worship showing again?
October 14th, 2009 at 10:39 am
32,
Don’t worry. I’ve never worried about that in the first place!
October 14th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Cohibaman:
Lorewhore alert. Uruk-hai were Sauraman’s version of super orcs. Sauron’s (or the entity who came before him. Tolkein’s a bit wobbly on the details) attempt at elves just came out as regular, run-of-the-mill orcs.
I can’t argue with you as to which were more badass, though. Uruk-hai all the way.
At this point, you should no longer be wondering if I’m really trying to put down Cody.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Agent 86,
As much as I enjoy Cody, NEVER compare his efforts to the Uruk-hai. That’s just wrong.
The Uruk-hai are completely awesome and, if you’re really trying to put down Cody, comparing him to them is not the way to do so.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:13 am
AgentCoop:
The Onion references are due to the fact that a lot of articles seem to be some sort of failed attempt to copy Onion humor. This went over about as well as Sauron’s attempt to copy Elves and Entfolk.
I don’t think they’re dissing on the Onion, as much as they are just expressing their pain and suffering after reading a Cody article.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
fagget!
October 13th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
I think Cody’s humour is adorable. It makes me smile. =P
October 13th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
32-
I can quote people too.
“There’s no way that they can hit us at this dist-”
Fun!
October 13th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Hey, look! Someone other than Swaim or DOB is posting articles! He must be destroyed! And we must-for some reason-continually reference The Onion in a derogatory way while doing it!
Jesus, people, if you don’t like it don’t read it. The manufactured outrage has gotten really, really old.
October 13th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Cohiba:
One does not hate as long as one has a low esteem of someone, but only when one esteems him as an equal or a superior.
Quoting famous people makes me smart, yes?
October 13th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@32_20Blues
Goddammit, stop making me laugh with your hate.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Whooters:
Don’t worry. That “growing on me” feeling you’re getting is genital fungal growth. This can, oddly enough, be treated in the same way one treats Cody.
With Fire.
October 13th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Okay, Cody. I’ll admit it. I didn’t like you at first. At all. I wanted to chase you away with pitchforks and torches, actually.
But you’re growing on me, you awkward, weird-taste-in-mouth funny man.
Keep up the good work.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:32 am
tn, I have to agree.
I fail to see how comparing an article to something one might find in the Onion really qualifies as a genuine complaint.
I love the Cracked brand of in-your-face humor but the Onion is pretty hard to beat. I love that the editors decided to bring Cody on board and brought a nice mixture of the two to this site.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:22 am
BTW, both are funny. I’m not saying that one is better than the other, but you gotta appreciate both.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Onion funny = genuine hilarious satire
Cracked funny = random observation jokes(and dick jokes) inserted into lists
Most people are too young here to get more complex humor..
October 13th, 2009 at 10:14 am
not awful… i kinda liked this one, simply because it actually had a punchline this time.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:44 am
I wasnt that up on your stuff either cody, but i have to say, this made me chuckle….textual awareness for all
October 13th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Wow! Fatawesome is funnier than this. I didn’t think that was possible simply because Fatawesome is one of the stupidest comics ever published. Really, this guy is not funny, good try Cody, but more misses than hits.
October 13th, 2009 at 6:32 am
I should elaborate on that last post. I might have given the impression that Cody’s parents are anything other than alive and well, which isn’t quite true.
You see, DOB came to me and told me to stop ripping on Cody. He says he has my husband and kids and that he will start sending them to me piece by piece until I quit. He gave me what appeared to be a chicken nugget to prove his point.
I’ve never actually married and I’m not aware of ever giving birth (I mean, I’m not even really a chick!) but this sounds serious and I’m not taking any fucking chances. This is some scary shit.
October 12th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
after reading some of your previous stuff that’s been posted here, I wasn’t too thrilled about your style of writing, but I thought this was good
October 12th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
hahaha- this was pretty good.
All I could think of was the part in ‘I love you man’ where Paul Rudd says “totes magotes”. beautifully awkward.
October 12th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
“Cody’s Dad”-
This whole “Cody’s Parents” thing is NOT cool, for reasons I’m not going to get into here.
It suffices to say that we should drop this ASAP.
Also, I want to express that I actually think that Cody is quite funny and I hope he sticks around for a while. I was just ribbing him and it got out of hand.
October 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
It’s funny. But, like everyone keeps saying, it’s Onion funny, not Cracked funny.
October 12th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Cody, you’re a fresh of breath air. Keep up the good work.
Most cracked commenters: You guys can go suck it.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
This wasn’t funny, at all. I expect more from you, Cracked.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Cody isn’t funny.
October 12th, 2009 at 11:56 am
@Tartra
We tried leaving him in the woods as a child, but he kept finding his way home somehow! I think he was following our scent!
October 12th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I like your style Cody. Good to have something different here on Cracked, keep up the good work!
October 12th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Halter top !
October 12th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Is this the onion?
October 12th, 2009 at 9:30 am
I’m nowhere near impressed but this just barely passed over the line of entertaining. So, I guess that means - provided Jack cracks down on the other readers - you’re here for a while.
@Cody’s Mom and Dad
How dare you do this to us. Clean up your mess, you two.
October 12th, 2009 at 9:26 am
cracked commenters are assholes.
October 12th, 2009 at 8:07 am
@Andrea
I currently am starting a few ideas for cracked. I don’t know about the other guy posting under this name (1 post, coathanger) As for Cody’s Mom, she’s trying to get Cody 504′d so he can get a real job.
October 12th, 2009 at 8:04 am
This was drifting around somewhere near funny, but it never really got there. By maybe the last third some sort of parody for underage sex was emerging…maybe.
As ever, still checking out your stuff, and liking the new style of humor you’re bringing to cracked, but gotta nudge up the bar a little dudes.
Good luck ^_~
October 12th, 2009 at 7:06 am
I actually laughed. Good job.
October 12th, 2009 at 7:04 am
My brain just shat itself out of pure misery. I didn’t even get to the second paragraph…
Too much “hurr durr” not enough “guffaw.”
October 12th, 2009 at 6:56 am
I’m sure there is a fat one, wollinsky isn’t it?
He looks like Matt Groening, sounds like fatty from lost, and smells like a rusty bucket.
In my mind anyway
October 12th, 2009 at 5:52 am
@ Cody’s Mother and Father…
I need to ask this, right now. It REALLY needs to be said before I blow up from keeping it inside me.
Why aren’t YOU GUYS writing for Cracked.com?
I got more laughs from reading your comments than your son’s entire worth of articles here!
How your humor managed to skip Cody will be a mystery…
October 12th, 2009 at 5:00 am
This was fucking great! I luv deadpan stuff, parody of news reports and shit is bitchin! keep it up!
October 12th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Cracked introduced this guy a few days ago as “different.” I must beg to differ. I’m not going to indulge in some of the vitriol I’ve seen in other comments on Cody’s stuff, but I do have to say that there’s nothing particularly “different” about what I’ve seen so far, or even particularly clever. Cody shows some potential, but slavishly imitating the Onion formula of “ridiculous story told in deadpan, credulous voice” does not work outside the Onion. Cody needs to find his own voice or find a different job.
October 12th, 2009 at 4:56 am
THE ONION
October 12th, 2009 at 4:38 am
i couldnt even get past the 1st paragraph. it was shit, should probably read a whole articale b4 i comment but his other ones were crap and this didnt seem like it was going anywhere.
October 12th, 2009 at 3:10 am
Nukewhales… how do you have deadpan delivery, in text?
October 12th, 2009 at 1:58 am
UR working at it, keep going man. one day maybe u will be as good a seanbaby, man wat a rofler, lol but anyways, ur article was alright, its different, i guess something im not used to but funny to other, which is a win either way, well done! =D
BROOOTAL with a OOO
October 12th, 2009 at 12:59 am
That “idiots for dummies” was abysmal but this is a lot better.
Especially “penetrashe”. Excelsior!
October 12th, 2009 at 12:40 am
jesus tap dancing christ calm down everyone….I like this guy but I can tell by his dry humor and deadpan delivery that a lot of people are going to bitch and moan about him. just dont read him if you think he sucks.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:14 am
I’m enjoying the work I see from you sir, and even more enjoying the comments people leave berating you from their little towers of self indulgent ego masturbation. Whereby, they simply regard any material they do not understand, or fail to appreciate, as some sort of garbage spewed into a gutter like so many drunken hobos.
Most of these smear-mongers couldn’t witty repertoire their way out of a wet, torn paper bag, much less quickly make the decision to let firefox spell ‘repertoire’ for them.
It’s hilarious, because many of the articles on cracked SPECIFICALLY notate this behavior in it’s many states of douchebaggery. They must not have read, understood, or agreed with those articles.
I fancy myself capable of writing on this site, but I fear I would read the comments, and fail to resist the urge to ‘quip-ass’ and let Norton Security carry them out.
I respect every article I read, and never forget to offer up the logical doubt “maybe I just don’t get it” if something fails to tickle me.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
You should do one about the rap music that degrades women
October 11th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Some of your stuff is a little hit and miss but I love this one - keep ‘em coming ^_^
October 11th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
The end got me. Haha
October 11th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
this made me rofl.
October 11th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Wow, yeah, the cody’s mom/dad schtick sure got beat the fuck to death. I thought this article was pretty funny, although it very much seemed like something straight from the Onion. Regardless, though, it was funny, and the last line sealed it up quite nicely.
October 11th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
What. The. Fuck? Seriously, why is this stuff on Cracked? Why is this stuff even on the internet? This is the sort of thing that, if you write it, you immediately delete it, just in case someone goes through your computer and happens to find it. How can anyone possibly think this is actually good enough to show other people?
October 11th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Good point, sweetheart! Jokes about retarded people are so original and cutting edge. I can’t imagine many people who’ve done that, except maybe this guy - http://www.cracked.com/blog/idiots-for-dummies/!
You know what’s even edgier than joking about abortions and retarded people? Taking the time to make sarcastic comments to a group of people that have been joking about abortions and retarded people! Hell, you could very well be Cracked’s next Columnist after they get rid of Cody! They could call it, “Little Lindsey Dumbshit’s Biting Observations About Comments No One Really Fucking Cares About!” It’d be a smash hit!
I’m proud of you sweety! Keep up the great work! We’re laughing with you, not at you!
October 11th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Like the article!
Cody’s parents are really funny. They should write some comedy content for a website. I bet they would have some really cute bits about abortions and retarded people. God, I love jokes about retarded people. Let’s face it, just by commenting on this article they will probably be picked up by some sort of scout! Good luck guys! I’m so excited for you! Looking forward to seeing the next thing you come up with. I bet it will be something about STD’S HA HA! I can do it too!
October 11th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
i thought that “texting” was an allegory for “fucking” until i read the last line. FUCKING HILARIOUS!
October 11th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
How in the blue FUCK did Nicole manage to get in there, Charles?!
Oh. Oooh. You mean the baby.
Better make it two just to make sure it gets done right.
October 11th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I’m preparing the wire clotheshanger now Karen. The abomination will be evacuated from your ovaries shortly.
October 11th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Oh dear, I got a good old lawl out of that.
Cody is one of my new favourites
October 11th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
ah, i can’t stop reading your stuff. im loling, for reals.
In my book, you are officially too awesome for words.
October 11th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Pretty good, but this is alot like the tiger Woods one, don’t over use this formula because I feel like it wil get old fast if you do.
October 11th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Nicole,
That’s so cute. Cody never told us he has a girlfriend now! Did you two meet over at that special school he’s been attending for the past couple of years?
Cody,
I think your new girlfriend is a bit SLOOOW. Cody, you can’t write and you’re a bit of a REEETAAAARD. Nicole doesn’t love you, only Mommy will ever REALLY love you. Nicole only encourages you so she can laugh at you with the others, especially with the one she’s nailing behind your back.
Mommy just thought you should know.
October 11th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
‘Was there a second of all? “Oh, right,” continues Britney. “No.”’
holy hell, i can’t breathe. Cody you are my new favourite.
October 11th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
The ‘Cody’s mom/dad thing’ is very old…the only slightly ammusing part is imagining the creator wasting all this time creating posts, giggling to himslef all the while… Your fucking lame and I hate you so much! Please go and die!
October 11th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
That’s why we call them ‘dults! Your my new favourite, always and forever!
October 11th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
This was pretty funny
October 11th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
That’s right Cody…
Those of us who tell you the truth about how you can’t write are the ones that really love you…
These people that defend and encourage you - they’re the mean ones!
October 11th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
You’re definitely weird. Good punch line.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Stop picking on my mentally dysfunctional son!!!
October 11th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Shame on you people! Encouraging poor Cody like this!
Cody, darling, these folks are laughing AT you, not with you. They aren’t your friends and are really just making fun of you behind your back.
Mommy loves you… no need to hurry home, of course, but mommy loves you.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I don’t know what these people are talking about. I just discovered you last night while I was supposed to be working, and I think you’re brilliant.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
It was all worth it for the last sentence… I think they call that suspense, I’m impressed, altho truly, the rest should be funny too btw
October 11th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Ohhh, that punch line. That got me big time. Wonderful, wonderful work.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Then again, the pain from that experience is nothing compared to the pain of having Cody as a son…
Ok. You win. Go for it. I can always just rail some oxy’s beforehand.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I’ll use chocolate flavored lube, you know you want it.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Nice try, Charles. I’m not falling for THAT one again.
Last time my ass was sore for a week and, every once in a while, I still cry a little to think about it…
October 11th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
cody: listen to the motherfuckers.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Cody, don’t listen to these motherfuckers. Your articles may not be as funny as the other columnists, but you update every ten minutes and that gives me shit to read that isn’t list-based until DOB, Brockway, or the fat one updates. I think there’s a fat one. One of you is fat, I’m sure. Regardless, make more of those game tutorial videos, they’re the bee’s knees.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
We should only try anal from now on, Karen. That way we’ll never produce another abomination like this one.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I think you stood to close to that broken microwave while you were knocked up, I knew I should have fixed it!
October 11th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Part of it’s my fault too. I probably should have done some of those things the doctor recommended: taken vitamins, ate healthier, stopped drinking and doing drugs…
At any rate, can’t stop drinking now. Not knowing that a fuck-up like Cody is running around and it’s partially my fault.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
What the fuck Cracked? I thought that you actually like interviewed or something to see if someone was funny before you made them one of your columnists. Fire this bitch.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
It’s unfortunate that I can’t produce a son as talented as that Brockway man… I am a failure as a father.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I agree Karen, I’ll get my hat.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
This was hilarious. Love the punchline.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Charles,
Would this be a bad time to tell you that I’m pregnant and want to have an abortion?
I really can’t handle this bullshit again.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Son,
I am disappointed in you. Remember what I told you about running it through your head to see if it’s funny before you say it. This is what I was talking about. To all Cracked Readers I apologize for my son, please forgive him as he has mild tourettes. To the Cracked Editorial Staff, Go easy on him when you fire him, he has very few marketable skills.
Good Luck with the Job Market son, you should have done your homework like I told you.
-Dad
P.S. If you run out of money and try to move back in with us I am going to beat the shit out of you. This is the first time in a long time I’ve been getting any from your mother, don’t screw it up!
October 11th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Oh shit. Shit shit shit.
Cody, honey, it seems that a terrible mistake has been made.
We’ve been telling you all these years that you’re talented and funny and ought to do something with those writing skills of yours. I think that the part you didn’t understand was that those are just things that parents tell their kids when they’re growing up to make them feel “special.”
You, dear, are special but it’s the other KIND of special. It’s not the type of special where you go off and write articles for Cracked. It’s more the type of special where we’re really supposed to keep a protective helmet on you at all times.
Cracked readers, Cody’s dad and I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for our little munchkin’s “articles” here. We really never imagined that a website like Cracked would exist and that its editorial staff would be so evil as to take advantage of a poor, sweet boy whose only crime was being, well, a bit on the “slow” side.
We are sorry for any problems our dear Cody has caused.
October 11th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
You’ve yet to convince me, Cody.
Not that you’ll actually read this or anything.
But I think you’re really hit-or-miss.
Some of your articles are funny.
Some are fucktarted.
This= clever, well thought out, good punchline= funny.
Your other articles= Complete random senseless mess= not funny.
Try a little harder, maybe you’ll win me over next time.
October 11th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Hahahahahahahahahahaha…
This was FUNNY, it is hit and miss with you.
October 11th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Hmm… I don’t think DOB’s is likely to be coming after Cody…
I mean, last I checked, DOB is an assistant editor and, unless I’m gravely mistaken, the editors have a pretty strong hand in who is featured on this site.
Fuck me if I’m wrong but I’m also pretty sure they’re familiar with these articles and are the ones who asked him to put them up in the first place…
October 11th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Die in a fire, Cody, and quit fagging up the blog.
October 11th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Awesome dude. I have no idea why people hate you, your hilarious.
October 11th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
This sort of crap is why I stopped reading “The Onion” and “MAD” Magazine. Just leave Cody, before some enraged DOB fan (or DOB himself) comes after you…
October 11th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I remember when Cracked used to be funny, and they would let columnists post funny things. DOB, Brockway, Bucholz, Gladstone, and Seanbaby, have always started with their best foot forward. (Because FUCK you Swaim, that’s why.) Why can’t you at least try to be like the other (not Swaim) columnists?
October 11th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Excellent excellent excellent! You’re mental AND intelligent! And you can spell, which is always a bonus on Cracked.com.
October 11th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
He’s like an unfunny version of Wolinsky…Wait…
October 11th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
You Freaking Suck CODY!!!!
Although this is slightly better than your last one.
/Don’t quit your day job.