Justin Timberlake Denies Reports That He Is Dating God
Every once in awhile the media exalts some random celebrity to renaissance man status. Right now, that man is Justin Timberlake.
First, he was a successful boybander. Then, a hit solo artist. Then he turned up in a movie. It doesn't matter that it was a rape fantasy soft core midget porn movie; it was still a movie!!
And now the Grammy winner is executive producer on a new show called My Problems With Women.
Wow. Is there anything this annoying, no-talent, scrawny piece of a shit can't do?
He's really got it all:
- Crying like a little bitch on Punk'd? Check!
- Satisfying his older lady fantasies with the only "beautiful" woman who bears a resemblance to Max Schmelling? Check!!
- Somehow capturing the look of BOTH redneck white trash and Orthodox Jew? Check!!!
Seriously, enough with this guy. Men will admit that Brad Pitt and George Clooney are attractive. Men don't even mind that their girlfriends openly masturbate during Oceans 11. But I have yet to meet one dude who looked in the mirror and said, "Damn, I wish I looked more like the sniveling little brother of a bayou serial rapist."
I'm not buying it. Timberlake is not Da Vinci. He's just some dude. If he were taking your order at the McDonalds Drive Thru, you'd definitely double-check the bag before driving away. And you just KNOW, he'd totally forget the Sweet N' Sour sauce you clearly asked for.
Am I wrong?
Check out some more Gladstone over HERE.
It is obvious from what you say that you don't like Justin. He is just a guy living his life, cut him some slack! I am biased because I think he's cool, but I have to say that maybe you are just jealous cause he's rich and famous and awesome. x
ReplyHmm you got a pissy blog and he's a multi millionaire.
ReplyI don't love him or hate him but yeah if he was taking an order at MC 's he would be quite dumb, but he's not. Just like if you had to clean up horse shit for a living you would be a fucking MUG too.
You just sound jealous, this article isnt even funny
XD lol but gladstone is less uglier and easilier more likeable than justin timberlake. also, your a f*g.
Skimming through these comments (old as they may be), I have to wonder if some of these people are serious. I, admittedly, have only heard one song of Justin Timberlake's. I don't know what it was, I don't care to know what it was. In fact, if anyone tries to guess I'll bypass the eyes and go straight for the brain (my brain, if anyone's looking for some form of clarity).
ReplyThe song I heard? So terrible I was rendered immobile. I literally could not change the channel until the song had finished, Justin Timberlake walked off stage, and the fangirls screeched for encores. He was so terrible that Hannah Montana's piss-poor, lackluster, siren's shriek sounded like a chorus of ... well, something mediocre.
Yes, Mediocre. 'Good' and 'Hannah Montana' don't belong in the same sentence. I don't care what sort of context it is, that sort of thing can cause a Time Paradox faster than Johnny's bathroom runs.
Back to Justin Flake.
What he sang? Some note that was supposed to be a word, forgot what it was, and came out as gibberish. For five minutes. Yeah. Next "word"? Same thing, only a higher, shriller, and all-around more annoying version of the same note; it might have even been off-key. If that's quality singing, I damn sure better get a record deal in the next five seconds.
Nothing?
Lame.
I could never hate on anyone who inspired me to give a little piece of me to my gf via a box.
ReplyCome on people, just admit it.....whatever JT is doing, it's working, and you wish you had thought of it first....
ReplyI know that's how I feel about that no-talent bitch Jessica Alba that all men openly drool over and compare all women to...what we need is a woman Cracked blogger to speak up for all of us unbelievably interesting but (sigh) average looking women out there
(and just to qualify, by average looking I mean unrealistically gorgeous but typically unairbrushed)
@ Smith: I refuse to believe that anyone who likes Dream Theater can like Justin Timberlake. It's an impossibility. Anyone making such claims should be burned at the stake...
ReplyJustin Timberlake has never done anything for me musically, and physically he kind of reminds me of one of those small rat-like dogs that celebutards carry. However, I am conflicted. One of his pictures on his latest (I think?) CD has a picture of him where he is psychotically attacking a disco ball (if I remember correctly?) which amused me for quite a while. That, and Dick in a Box leads me to believe he is probably an allright dude.
ReplyJustin Timberlake is a hack plain and simple, he came from a wussy ass boy band and took all his pansy ass boy bank formulated tactics for singing music with him.
ReplyHe sucks plain and simple.
Long live Nirvana
What's this about touching someone's ass with a stick?? Where can one sign up for the pass time of touching asses with ruler length sticks? I want to sign up for that activity please....Is there some sort of league I need to join to be a part of this touching asses with measured sticks party, b/c I think that would be the most self-amusing thing I have participated in for quite some time...
ReplyIt's the bout of the century! (if century can be taken to mean day)
ReplyIn the blue corner, wearing a thick pelt of luxuriant fur: the thundering stallion, Wayne "From Maine" Glaaaaadstooooonnn-ah!
...and in the white corner, wearing nothing but a charming smile: the challenger, Michael "Fartypants" Swaaaaaaaaaiiimm-ah!
[...] Ceremony accomplished two important feats: giving Justin Timberlake a forum for responding to Gladstone’s hateful comments about him, and bringing the debate as to whether Madonna or Leonard Cohen is a more important [...]
ReplyWell Tilly, you settled that in a rather mature way.
ReplyI'm proud of you.
Oh, and my line is i'm a frustrated genius.
Heh.
Did we ever determine exactly who provides the... 'services' if someone attains a high enough post count? I may or may not want pics, depending on what (or who) is going down.
ReplyI'm gay. And I wouldn't touch Justin's ass with an one-foot-long-stick. I said.
ReplyForget the servers! If anyone's getting blown, it should be gladstone at 200 comments...
ReplyIf you could find some way to tie in Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Hannah Montana, making fun of sketch artists( ie dead babies) and throw in why you think video gamers are stupid, you would probably blow the servers with comments.
ReplyWow. Over 50 comments. I haven't done that in a while. Mark my words. I predict Swaim gets all jealousy and finds some cheap way to attack me about this.
ReplyI froze my ass off watching communists watch me watching communists in Germany at the end of the cold war.
ReplyI hate communists, did I mention I hate communists?
"Also (gasp) I’m not a member of the KGB." That's exactly what a member of the KGB would say.
ReplyI hate communists
We're talking about Lennon Murphy of the Lennon-Hendrix calibre, right?
ReplyReally Ashton Kutcher? That's horrible...