Jon Stewart's Rally To Restore Kid Rock and/or Sheryl Crow Failed Miserably
It's been almost a week, readers. By now you've heard the speeches and seen the signs from Jon Stewart's rally in Washington, D.C. There are plenty of great recaps of the event, but one little item seems to be glossed over in all of them, and that is the performance of Kid Rock and what might be his girlfriend? I don't know, that just seems like a reason they might have performed together. Anyway, Sheryl Crow was also there, and no one seems to want to discuss it past "Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow were there." No one wants to mention that a "Rally to Restore Kid Rock and/or Sheryl Crow" featured such an "unintentionally hilarious and/or slap-dash" performance by them. The main act, readers, was by far the best metaphor of the day.
The whole event featured guests no one was expecting: The Roots, John Legend, Ozzy, the MythBusters, Father Guido Sarducci, the Artist Formerly Known As Cat Stevens, and Jeff Tweedy (to name almost all of them). After these delights and other "bits" of "c"omedy, Stewart began to tease the next performer. I can't speak for every one, readers, but I've spoken to several ones, and I'm fairly certain most of us were expecting Bruce Springsteen. Springsteen, some more jokes, then the main event: Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Instead, Stewart announced "Ladies and gentlemen... Kid Rock" and immediately turned his head away, as if to say "Ladies and gentlemen... sigh... Kid Rock."
Kid entered, looking like Kid does, and sat down at the piano. He muttered that it was ironic how he was the one to play the serious song, which instantly made it ironic that he didn't. He opened his copy of Kid's Fourth Rock Piano Book: Bawitdarpeggios and played a few lines from his new song "Care." Kid lamented, "I can't stop the war, shelter homeless, feed the poor... but the least that I can do is care." Technically, Kid, the least you can do is sit quietly, or maybe just care less. Semantics aside, though, I did appreciate the intended sentiment, even if the song could have just as easily been called "Imagine (If (John Lennon Were Five)." The Kid was earnest, and it was- after all- his rally.
Then Sheryl Crow came out and she sure was Sheryl Crow I guess, except I honestly thought it was Shania Twain up until very recently. Sheria Twow, loyal to her name, spent the duet going between "real words" and "just sounds" at random, as if that were the correct thing to do. It quickly became clear that she did not even do the least that she could do, which is care enough to learn the words. The whole performance begged for a single rehearsal, or a desire to sing together from either of the two people singing, or Kid stopping mid-song to scream "MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!
KID
ROCK!"
only to then go back into "What If Everyone Was Nice." That would have been insane.
Readers, up until Kid Rock And Guest's performance, the rally had been entertaining and understandable. This was the first time I stopped to wonder what the hell was going on. Kid's bizarrely panderous song felt like it was meant for the "flag-wearin', sign-wavin'" crowd everyone was there to "refudiate." Looking around, though, you could see that this was also a crowd of sign-wavers, however tongue-in-cheek the signs may be. While most were harmless ("THE PEOPLE BEHIND ME CAN'T SEE" and "DON'T YOU HATE PANTS?" come to mind), many went about rejecting childish sign-waving by waving childish signs. FYI, Tea Partiers: a lot of people seem to think you like balls in your mouth. And a "JUST BECAUSE I SPELL CORRECTLY DOESN'T MEAN I'M LIBERAL OR CONDESCENDING IT JUST MEANS I WENT TO COLLEGE" sign is still pretty condescending. When will they understand? We are all waving signs, readers. We are all reading waved signs.
Then T.I. beamed in from jail, eventually the song ended, everything became right again, and Sheryl Crow played her own song. At first I thought it was "Get Back," then it wasn't, then four minutes later the song was over. The crowd cheered the equivalent of "Yeah, I guess," and Jon came out to finish off the rest of the rally with The Roots, who had been there the whole time. For some reason(s?), no one mentioned Kid Rock or Sheryl Crow again.
In conclusion, readers, as a rally to restore Kid Rock, it was pretty not effective at all because he only played one song. As a rally to restore Sheryl Crow, it was extremely not effective at all because she only played one song. As a Kid Rock/Shania Twain concert, it was fucking incredible, because they only played two songs.
For more things to check out, check out this person at his blog or Twitter, but not Facebook.
you're just jealous because Stewart and Colbert actually pretend to stand for something
Replyi feel like she is saying "shelter the homeless FROM the poor" instead of "shelter the homeless, FEED the poor." someone please tell me i'm mistaken...
Replythat performance on the youtube video is one of the most condescending things I've ever seen- a bunch of probably upper middle class white people beaming with inspiration as they listened to the feel-good music of two rich artists (on a fancy stage) sing about how they can't feed the hungry, but dammit, they acknowledge the fact that hungry people exist. Yes Kidrock, you can feed a goddamn lot of hungry people. Jackass.
ReplyAnd look now differently you've done. b***h about them in the comment section of an article on a comedy website. You're so above them, so much more respectable.
I like how cody does weird comedy. He's like cracked's Tim and Eric.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesyou mean unfunny?
Tim and Eric is stoner comedy
Slacker, don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. A Kid Rock fan, I mean.
I don't know why people think that this rally is left wing. I assume that the majority of people who showed up were slightly more liberal than conservative but that doesn't make this a left rally. The purpose of this rally more or less was to bring attention to the fact that democracy as a whole is not working. Mostly due to the fact that America is completely skirting the issues and chooses to put more emphasis on the personal beliefs of the members of political parties, and their choices in completely personal matters. Like the press going haywire over what Obama chooses to wear on vacation. They are so stupid and they don't even see it. They think they're doing a great job and that democracy is doing better than ever. The rally is meant to oppose that way of thinking in the most ironic way possible : By emulating it.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesIf only cracked could have the equivalent of a like button for a comment. That was beautifully explained.
Um yes it was very liberal. The entire thing is a movement. Stephen colbert and john stewart both do conservative SATIRE. Im 13 and i went and know more about politics than you. Mostly the reason america is skirting over the issues is because whenever democrats are trying to pass a bill the republicans filibuster it. The whole system is flawed and yes there is a better system thean democracy (socialism). They are trying to repeal the dont ask dont tell ban and healthcare, which is pretty f**ked up. We were trying to gather for a greater good and unit as one liberal party. Im sure if you watched the show you would understand everything. If you do and u still dont understand then i dont know. Ive been watching for the last 3 years.
@ WebbOmNom
Jon Stewart himself said it wasn't a rally about political beliefs (in other words liberal vs conservative), but instead it was about how the political discussion has been rendered useless and how it is being manipulated by politicians and the media. It was called the Rally to Restore Sanity because the whole point was to try to create positive discussion instead of bulls**t politicking (don't know if that's a word or not).
RowRowTheGreat basically summed up the rally well.
And yes Stewart and Colbert's beliefs tend to lean more liberal in almost all issues, but that doesn't mean that's what they are trying to get at. They are trying to create cohesion between Democrats and Republicans instead of the hate.
Thorkild91, although I agree with your arguments about socialism and Republicans blocking the system, you come off as quite condescending and jerky when you claim to know more about politics and insult someone who is just stating what the rally was about.
About the guy who said that socialism is better than democracy... socialism is democratic. Just saying.
i was there, way way way way way in the back. couldnt hear or see a damn thing. then suddenly there was clapping, lots and lots of clapping, i looked around for the source and suddenly saw a man climbing a tree. i just couldnt help but cheer him on. then after a few minuets there was another we clapped and screamed with the same if not more enthusiasm. then there were more, all over the place, people climbing trees as far as the eye could see, even saw two brave men scale a street light. oh how joyous we became for there triumphs, as for some small reason we felt they were partly our own triumphs too. yes there were falls not many but they were there, but we knew what it really was. a metaphore for our own failurs and how even though we may fall, as long as we continue to climb that tree, theres hope to make it to the top. i for one thought the rally to climb all the trees at the mall was the best i ahve ever attended.
ReplyThat guy climbing the tree was Zacchius. Afterwords Jesus invited to hang out with some hookers and stuff.
why someone can post this article on POZ-Dating[.]Com? is it legal? any answer? you guys don't care? I think it only blongs to CRAcked, Not POZ-Dating[.]C0m or any other fu*king site
ReplyApparently, we had different feeds of the same event because I saw none of what you "observed" while watching the rally.
ReplyI try not to be a Cody hater, really, I do. I like some of his stuff.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesBut this was awful. I thought the Rally was great but this article... what was this? Was this a critisism? Some sort of sarcasm? A joke? I can't tell. Seems like he just slapped the keyboard.
Maybe if you got your head out of your Jon Stewart-testicle-licking ass then you'd probably see the humor.
@Bathory: Maybe if you got your head out of your Cody-testicle-licking ass and your brain out of your Jon-Stewart-hating penis and your heart out of your Needlessly-vitriolic-because-you're-on-the-internet heart, then your opinions would exactly match mine i.e. the correct opinions.
Maybe if you got your chocolate out of my goddamned peanut butter...
@mrFigment, never, I lust for your peanut butter
that rally just proves that the left is just as big a bunch of douche bags as the right in america, there is no such thing as political debate or reasoning in america, just social, racial and upbringing differences. policy and reasoning have no place in US politics.
Reply Hide All See All 6 Repliesthat wasn't a left wing rally
Yes it was lol most his viewers are.
the rally was about how stupid the left AND right wing pundits are because they focus on dumb things that separate us and are overall incompetent. amen to you for missing the point entirely and making up some s**t
The entire point of the rally was to expose how ridiculous it is that the media only focuses on the loudest 15% of the country instead of getting to the real issues.
who even gives a s**t about left wing or right wing? they're both the EXACT same thing....they dont give a s**t about you or me and get paid to act like a*****es(like paris hilton...or ashton kutcher)...its just retarded if any of you think "your side" actually cares about things other than money,money,kinky gay sex, and money....oh and money
There is no political left in the United States. Well, Senator Bernie Sanders is a Democratic Socialist. Other than that, we have far right Republicans and centre-right Democrats.
So let's stop b***hing over "left and right" when there is none.
I always wondered why there were so many rampant Cody-haters. Now I know...
ReplyShania Twain's prettier.
Reply"Bawitdarpeggios" was pretty good.
ReplyCody's mounting a comeback. I never was a fan, but he's been delivering the goods lately.
ReplyThis one wasn't so bad, and he's like 3/4 on his most recent. The one about "Jaymay" was just awful though. But yes, he's mounting a...can you call it a comeback if he wasn't very good in the first place? He's just mounting, let's go with that.
I think he should stick with the narrative/journalistic approach. He seems to nail those pretty well.
This article didn't make me angry for having wasted my time, which is more than i can usually say after reading Cody, so i just came to see if Cody's gay lover Notsanity was gonna come in and defend his "honor", again.
ReplyI came.
Hahaha. I was at the rally, and I did the biggest eyeroll/facepalm when they announced Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow were the next performers. Ugh. I started to leave after it became apparent they were doing a second song, and stopped when Jon came back out. I couldn't get very far with all the crowds anyway. I have to say the 45 minutes of the Roots and John Legend at the beginning were pretty boring too, though. At least SC and KR only played two songs.
ReplyNot gonna lie, I thought it was gonna be springsteen too. I was quite saddened
ReplyOnce I saw the haphazard mess that was the elongated 'KIIIIIIID' I was sold. The rest of the "blarticle" kind of coasted on fumes though.
Replygod damn it Cody, you were on a roll!
Replymy room mate and I went through a 30 rack just to sit through that s**tshow. but the least that i could do is care.
Reply