Jews Can't Sing: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The DayThat's What Friends Are For
On September 4, 1993, Seth became a man. Then his entire family got wasted and attempted to sing a Dionne Warwick song. 15 years later you're sitting here watching it on the internet. Kinda weird how that worked out, isn't it?
I'd like to know more about Seth's family. What's up with the chick on the left who looks like she wants to kill herself? Who's the wacky old man with the inflatable guitar? Perhaps most importantly, don't any of them realize that a single karaoke microphone isn't going to pick up nine peoples' voices?
I'm not going to say anything mean-spirited about this family for a couple of reasons: (1) I actually find this video adorable and heartwarming; (2) Perhaps as a result of (1) I can't really think of anything to make fun of them for (other than the fact that they are completely tone deaf and don't seem to understand how microphones work); and (3) I never had a Bar Mitzvah, so I'm technically not even a man1 and not in a position to make fun of anything. I really wanted to have a Bar Mitzvah, too - those kids made BANK and all they had to do was memorize some Hebrew noises. But then I would've had to go to Hebrew school and I probably would've missed Beavis & Butthead. We were all out of blank VHS tapes, too, so I couldn't even record it. So yeah - I blame my dad. If he had just gone to the store and bought some fucking blank VHS tapes maybe I would've gone to Hebrew school and become a man2.
Okay, I admit it: I'm a terrible Jew.1 Although I wonder: If a Jew never has a Bar Mitzvah, does he become a man when he loses his virginity? Not that I've ever had sex before (I'm only 26), but hypothetically speaking, does boning negate the whole never-becoming-a-man thing?
2 FUCK YOU, DAD! I HATE YOU!
You become Bar Mitzvahed when you turn 13, and you become a man at that point. You think Jews have always had parties? :P
ReplyPlease help people in haiti and google donate to haiti children.
ReplyJust come accross your blog on digg, whats your favorite social bookmark site?
Replylol...I swear, if any of my family members did that on MY Bat Mitzvah...I'd be exactly like that woman on the left!! Too bad I didn't save the money I got from mine...I would've been $1,000 dollars richer! XD
Reply??... ??, ??? ?????????, ? ??? ? ???? ??? :)
ReplyYeah I could have been pretty funny too if I was born with a mutilated penis like that like that hell bound Jewish ass-reamer O'Brien.
ReplyIf you haven't had sex by age 26, you are NEVER going to be a man. I don't care if you're Commandant of the Marine Corps, have Chuck Norris on speed dial and eat soft-boiled eyeballs for breakfast, THE WINDOW IS FUKKEN CLOSED, JACK.
Replyso... 15 years o_o those people must be already dead, good for them, so they don't have to shame themselves for doing that video =D
ReplyWatching this has turned me into a self-hating Jew.
ReplyNow that's comedy!
ReplyGood god, that's terrible. Also, at about 3:20 it looks like the wacky old man has a heart attack or something. Wonderful.
ReplyChilli - your simpering and feigned "oh isn't this a great time we're having" routine is so transparent it makes my eye twitch. I'm sure you "LOL" every time you're publicly shamed. I doubt Ross was pissed. He's probably just sick of all the correction monkeys at Cracked, which is a disease of an otherwise great site. A pox on you all.
ReplyLOL! Thanks for the link! It's just not as entertaining as a you getting pissed or a polite fuck off.
ReplyThe microphones most often used in Karaoke are dynamic type mics. These mics tend to be more durable then other types but are not as sensitive as say a condenser mic. They ARE capable of picking up nine people - they just require a little more gain at the pre-amp. Ross, it seems you don't know how microphones work either.
ReplyRoss, technically, you "became a man" when you turned 13. The rite of passage that is a formal Bar Mitzvah is a relatively new phenomenon and whether or not you had one has no bearing on being recognized as a full MOT.
ReplyMazel Tov.
I had to think about that one for a second.
ReplyBest holocaust joke EVER
ReplyTwo Jewish boys in the camps
one walks into the barracks and sees his friend rubbing a soap bar against his engorged dick seemingly trying to pleasure himself
SO he sais: Dude what are you doing?
The friend replies : "IM FUCKING YOUR MOTHER"
How dare you!
ReplyIf you look closely in the first three seconds, the woman on the left get's her saggy boob groped.
ReplyI'm not even kidding.
What's with the video game in the background? Is it some traditional Jewish Bar Mitzvah game?
Reply