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Jews Can't Sing: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

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On September 4, 1993, Seth became a man. Then his entire family got wasted and attempted to sing a Dionne Warwick song. 15 years later you're sitting here watching it on the internet. Kinda weird how that worked out, isn't it?

I'd like to know more about Seth's family. What's up with the chick on the left who looks like she wants to kill herself? Who's the wacky old man with the inflatable guitar? Perhaps most importantly, don't any of them realize that a single karaoke microphone isn't going to pick up nine peoples' voices?

I'm not going to say anything mean-spirited about this family for a couple of reasons: (1) I actually find this video adorable and heartwarming; (2) Perhaps as a result of (1) I can't really think of anything to make fun of them for (other than the fact that they are completely tone deaf and don't seem to understand how microphones work); and (3) I never had a Bar Mitzvah, so I'm technically not even a man1 and not in a position to make fun of anything. I really wanted to have a Bar Mitzvah, too - those kids made BANK and all they had to do was memorize some Hebrew noises. But then I would've had to go to Hebrew school and I probably would've missed Beavis & Butthead. We were all out of blank VHS tapes, too, so I couldn't even record it. So yeah - I blame my dad. If he had just gone to the store and bought some fucking blank VHS tapes maybe I would've gone to Hebrew school and become a man2.

Okay, I admit it: I'm a terrible Jew.1 Although I wonder: If a Jew never has a Bar Mitzvah, does he become a man when he loses his virginity? Not that I've ever had sex before (I'm only 26), but hypothetically speaking, does boning negate the whole never-becoming-a-man thing?

2 FUCK YOU, DAD! I HATE YOU!

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