Part of being a Cracked.com columnist means staying on top of trends in pop culture and knowing what’s HOTT! And nothing’s hotter right now than those delightful Facebook memes. But before we talk about Braggaboo –the newest, hottest one of all– let’s do a quick review of some old favorites:
First there was the List of 25 Things where your friends shared amazingly off-beat and amusing details about their lives:
Then there was the one where you assign all your friends identities in a cartoon filled with Little Miss characters. That one’s super funny because you’re saying your friend is like a little, blue, round dude with a flower hat even though your friend totally doesn’t wear flower hats. He’s not even blue! LOL!
More recently, people have been making album covers for their own fake bands, following directions that take you to various websites for words and images. And the results are always as enjoyable as they are convincing. This could totally be a real album!
But the new one that’s super hot right now is called Building The Perfect Braggaboo! And everyone’s doing it. How? It’s simple! Just follow these quick and easy steps below.
BUILDING THE PERFECT BRAGGABOO
1. First, type your deepest childhood fear into Google images and hit return. Take the third image.
2. Then go to the U.S. Dept of Agriculture website and check out the crop calendars. Choose your birthday month and see what is planted in the United States at that time of year. Write this down on a piece of paper and put it aside (you’ll need it later!).
3. Call up the first person you ever had sex with and tell them you’re pretty sure you gave them a venereal disease. Write down the first thing they say. This goes at that top of your Braggaboo in quotes (hot pink is preferable, unless your childhood fear involved an image with a lot of hot pink that would make this graphic unreadable).
4. Become the facebook friend of a mildly notable Internet pseudo-celebrity with the words “Braggaboo” in the request. Wait for a reply to accompany your accepted request. If no reply is forthcoming, try sending homemade pornography. Upon receiving a reply, plug it into Babelfish and translate to Dutch. If no reply is received, translate the phrase “Best Facebook Meme Ever!” into Chinese (you should also use this phrase if you are already this person’s Facebook friend. Also, you should probably still send additional homemade pornography). This phrase goes at the bottom of your Braggaboo (any color is acceptable – except chartreuse).
5. Take the piece of paper with the U.S. Agriculture stats from step two and fold it into three equal parts. Then throw it away.
6. Start a stopwatch and go to the Digg.com’s home page. See how many seconds it takes you to find a popular story featuring either Linux, some kind of wacky lolcat type pic and/or boobs. Then add 10. That’s the total number of Facebook friends you should tag to check out your Braggaboo.
7. Tag one more Facebook friend (the one you don’t really like speaking to that often. Perhaps, tagging this person in a meme will count as communication, thereby buying you a few more days of not actually having to speak).
8. And you’re done! It’s just that easy. And just that fun! How’d ya do? Here’s mine!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 at 10:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
The Trials of Gladstone (as told by Franz Kafka)
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November 17th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
In addition, if you type braggaboo or one of the crops from the note into Facebook’s search engine, copy the resulting link into one of the feeds afterwards, then replace it with the one pointing to this page, you will get a source less accurate but more confident.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 am
I can not believe anyone would waste their time with that.
July 30th, 2009 at 3:55 am
o my god:)
July 17th, 2009 at 3:33 am
The reason for burying HBN was not lack of knowledge of masturbation or satire, but rather because it was never funny.
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
WTF is a meme, it is called a fad in my internetz.
June 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Facebook memes? Pfffft. Surveys and ideas hijacked from forums, more like. I’d rather do a mindless quiz than lemming my way into one of those “memes.”
May 26th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Double WOW 2 your design!
May 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
[...] • Facebook’s Hot New Meme! [...]
May 4th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
i was scared shitless from that movie til i was 15…ugh it was hard to look at that lol…im 24. prolly have a fuct up nightmare tonight
April 15th, 2009 at 4:47 am
If you want to read a reader’s feedback
, I rate this article for 4/5. Detailed info, but I just have to go to that damn yahoo to find the missed pieces. Thank you, anyway!
April 13th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Makes my life!!!
March 20th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
don’t ya WANT IT!? don’t ya WANT IT!?
March 12th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Meme, pronounce “meem”, is a self-propagating idea. It’s had an upswing of usage ever since the internet allowed memes to grow at stupefying speeds. “Fashion trends” are an excellent example of a meme. Just by existing and being seen, they spread themselves throughout a community like wildfire.
March 10th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
What’s a meme? I see this word all the time on this site.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k283/JMANUNIT/BRAGABOO.jpg
March 9th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Much better than the article posted on collegehumor today. Much better.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
http://www.cracked.com/members/nikkifm
oh yes, my Braggaboo
this is the most awesomest game ever
*even though the picture was cropped by the injustice that is cracked avatar standard*
March 7th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Wonderful!
March 7th, 2009 at 3:05 am
Jesus, cracked. You would think smart guys like yourselves would have registered braggaboo.com and built a site.
If you are going to start a meme. You need web presence that people can refer to to help remember the name.
Amateurs!
March 6th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Swaim’s comment sounds a lot like what the top of his Braggaboo would say.
March 6th, 2009 at 3:28 am
[...] my new favorite game that I’d love to share with you. It’s called Nicolas Cage. Unlike my associate, Gladstone’s game, this one isn’t complicated or Facebook-related. (Also, it’s fun.) Here’s how [...]
March 6th, 2009 at 12:41 am
—–Uniformedmate.com—– ? It is really a funny and interesting place to date attractive girls or hot guys. Many hottie videos and photos at this site, you can enjoy latest interesting videos or talk about hot topic with other friends. I’ve met many thoughtful singles who were trying to find true love.
March 5th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Where are the Little Miss characters for The One From Canada and The One Who Hasn’t Been Around Long Enough To Have A Running Joke?
March 5th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Holy shit that was funny, I had a really crappy day, was feally terrible & this article has cheered me up immensely! Good on you Gladstone
-one of your (many) aussie fans!
March 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
You pics-of-Pennywise-posting bastard.
That goddamned clown was bloody terrifying.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Damn, I hate Facebook. I’m pretty sure I’m the only holdout in my high school from Facebook and cellphones. Y’know what? I’m fucking proud of it. I don’t need to buy into all this phony top-10 radio bullshit reality TV garbage. That’s why I come to Cracked. REBEL! REBEL!! REBEL!!!
… Seriously, though; I don’t have Facebook or a cellphone.
March 5th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Now that I think about it I love the mom from boy meets world. You know she just gets dirty when she gets in the bedroom.
March 5th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
” u might be surprise what u end up with!!LOL ”
I’d rather not, Andy23 as I’m old and have been surprised too many goddamn times with what I’ve ended up with.
For the record I hate facebook and Facebook man.
I don’t even know who Facebook man is and I hate fucking him, just on general fucking principals.
March 5th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
lol….. This is a great news!! so, for celebration, I want to recommend you lonely guys who hate lonely nights a great online club to meet your activity partner, romance and lover, either for heat or passion: ____Talllmingle.com_____ the most popular place for hot modelss, handsome men meet and mingle! u might be surprise what u end up with!!LOL
March 5th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
rofl @ Jack’s comment.
Oh my goshh.
March 5th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Oh, and I tried typing Wayne Gladstone into Google image search to see if Wells’s comment was true, and it instead came up with a picture of Woody Allen dressed as a Rabbi for the third image. So I typed in ‘Michael Swaim’ and the third image was, well, see for yourself: http://images.google.co.uk/images?gbv=2&hl=en&safe=off&q=michael+swaim
March 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Umm… I don’t have the contact details of the first girl I had sex with. Can I just call up my last girlfriend???
March 5th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I am afraid of Wayne Gladstone but when I put it into google, it just has pictures of Kafka.
March 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
tswift, who is Facebook Man?
March 5th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
man all i see on my page is that damn 25 things thing and that picture tag thing arrggg..,..and why do you have wet dreams about that mom from boy meets world
March 5th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
i fuckin HATE facebook man lol
March 5th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
BAH I messed it up again. I keep forgetting that my fear is spiders, not social decline.
March 5th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Should SafeSearch be turned on or off for #1?
March 5th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Sounds like somebodys got a little too much time on their hands.
March 5th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Oh, snap, TANK. Jp left that comment right after you did. FLAME WAR.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:56 am
This whole Facebook thing sounds kinda gay. Just sayin’.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:45 am
…
I’d actually give it a shot but it’s too long and I don’t have a long enough attention spOH SOMETHING SHINY
March 5th, 2009 at 10:44 am
You can’t possibly hate the 25 Facts note. It’s the best thing ever. People have such good facts. Apart, of course, from the people who say “This is really hard…I am a boring person” three times or more over the course of the 25.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am
I’m sad to say this but I was victim to the Mr. Men Tagging photo meme and the 25 things I want you to know.
Apparently it doesn’t count as proper post traumatic stress disorder so there’s no support group.
oh well i’ll deal with it in the true British sense. A cup of tea, a stiff drink (i’ll go with whiskey) and maintaining aloofness as I repress the memory into a tumour
March 5th, 2009 at 10:09 am
That is freakin awesome. I would make one, but I don’t have enough homemade pron..
March 5th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Wow, good stuff dude! Good stuff!
RT
http://www.privacy-center.pro.tc
March 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
It won’t be big. I am voting on either “Krunt,” or “Plookalakalaka.”
March 5th, 2009 at 8:39 am
@desskinayoka, go to number 2.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:37 am
wat if the 1st person you had sex with is dead? does the 2nd count?
March 5th, 2009 at 8:35 am
“unless you’re childhood fear involved an image with a lot of hot pink”
Your.
That is all.
March 5th, 2009 at 7:43 am
It’s nice to see someone other than me tagged as “The one who rapes your dog”, for once.
March 5th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Simpsons did it!
March 5th, 2009 at 7:38 am
I’m going to go ahead and insist that you use babelfish. Incorrect translation is half the battle!
March 5th, 2009 at 7:31 am
This thing is great!
However, is it required to translate to Dutch in babelfish for the broken translation effect, or may you translate directly if you already know Dutch?
March 5th, 2009 at 7:01 am
So, what do we do with the paper with the crops written on it?
March 5th, 2009 at 6:52 am
omg that’s fucking hilarious
March 5th, 2009 at 6:27 am
Really? hard to believe.
I heard this news times from many friends playing on a ta ll da ting site ___TallMingle Com___,i did not believe, i think that they are know nothing but da ting and love.
i am wrong.
March 5th, 2009 at 6:24 am
This is a great news!! so, for celebration, I want to recommend you lonely guys who hate lonely nights a great online club to meet your activity partner, romance and lover, either for heat or passion: ____Talllmingle.com_____ the most popular place for hot modelss, handsome men meet and mingle! u might be surprise what u end up with!!LOL
March 5th, 2009 at 6:20 am
I hate you for posting clowns. I still can’t walk by a sewer drain without flinching.
March 5th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Another victim of the “funny as shit on video, but complete FAIL in written form” disease.
I read that with a face that could win the texas hold em world final.
Do they PAY you for this or are you just chained to a wall in DOB’s basement and you cough this phlegm up just so he feeds you?
March 5th, 2009 at 5:34 am
Nice article G-Stone. I’m hurt yet again though… you know what i’m getting at. You’re still the best though.
March 5th, 2009 at 5:15 am
Funny shit, Wayne.
I have a feeling mine would look like this:
A picture of a squirrel floating overhead with a helium-filled balloon tied to each paw. On top, “Right Back At You.” On the bottom, “Tevreden, niet meer naakte beelden van zich.”
March 5th, 2009 at 5:08 am
AVClub did it
March 5th, 2009 at 4:58 am
the album cover one has so far been the only thing i’ve done, mostly because it’s the kind of thing i tend to do anyway
March 5th, 2009 at 4:52 am
im gonna go ahead and be honest here… im an avid cracked reader and have been for a long time. I have never been compelled to leave a comment because 1st usually your articles are funny and informative and 2nd i hate leaving comments due to the nonsense left on the comment boards in general. But that was by far the worst article i have ever read on cracked
March 5th, 2009 at 4:51 am
The album cover one was more than annoying, I’ve made a few people take them down that were featuring my pictures.
March 5th, 2009 at 4:38 am
I’m totally willing to help anyone translate shit to Dutch.
Let’s make this the biggest FB meme ever u guise!!!111eleven@#^
March 5th, 2009 at 3:42 am
what a shame i dont have a facebook. oh woe is me, how will i ever get over the agony?
fuck dat
March 5th, 2009 at 3:24 am
thats not best facebook meme in chinese. its 最好的
March 5th, 2009 at 3:24 am
Facebook is evil and must be stopped. Mark my words.
March 5th, 2009 at 3:06 am
@zooeykarma: Yeah its like OMG ¡, you know like hi5 like liking likers myspace like memes like WTF
March 5th, 2009 at 3:04 am
Ok I did it. What now?
March 5th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Swaim, that dirty feeling might have less to do with your “First” comment than with raping G-stone’s dog. You dirty, dirty man.
Do these Facebook memes really bother everyone THAT much? I mean, if you don’t like ‘em, don’t read ‘em. (Yes, I’ve done like 3 of them already. I have no regrets!!)
March 5th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Oh God, I hate these stupid Facebook memes… It’s like, “Go back to MySpace!!” Amirite, or amirite?
I think this is one I will have to do, though.
Nice work, G-stizzle!
March 5th, 2009 at 1:30 am
I’d like to point out that my album cover was awesome as all hell. Much better than that dodgey piece of crap you gave as an example!
I’m half tempted to actually make on of these and just skip the calling the last person I had sex with bit. Cause we all know that you just added that in so you could talk yourself up
March 5th, 2009 at 1:21 am
gladstone’s fat.
March 4th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
“5. Take the piece of paper with the U.S. Agricultutre stats from step 2 and fold it into three equal parts. Then throw it away.”
Best step I’ve ever read ahaha!
March 4th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
And you said your fake Facebook friends didn’t help you find a topic for your column! Obviously all of the banal requests and interactions we had with you provided you with inspiration.
Oh, and I think Swaim was first because he knew a new post from you was coming and like some demented stalker fanboy, he kept hitting refresh until you post showed up and rushed to comment. Don’t let his calm demeanor in the comment fool you. He’s deeply, deeply infatuated with you.
March 4th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
I just think its funny that swaim was the actual 1st on thesecomments and there were like 2 others that tried and failed missurably. swaim you are dirrty dirtty man
March 4th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
tell panos stantor said hi
March 4th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
friended.
like a champ.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
shit!!1
March 4th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
oh dear lord… am i first?
March 4th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
TThat is definitely got promise. I am getting started on mine, be prepared for my friend request.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Oh sup Swaim
March 4th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Facebook link to the real Braggaboo doesn’t work. Swaim, you are indeed dirty.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
And second.
This is creepy.
That is all.
*waits for the flow of images*
March 4th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
First? Wow, that’s the first time I’ve ever done that. I feel dirty.