Innocent Disney Movie Or Harbinger Of The Apocalypse? The Daily Nooner (EST)!
When is the world going to end? That depends on who you ask. Scientists say the sun will burn out in a couple billion years, Nostradamus had it down to an exact date (December 20, 2012), and Jehovah's Witnesses have struck out numerous times, predicting all-out apocalypse in 1914, 1918, 1925, 1941, 1975, and 1994. I appreciate all of their efforts, but guess what? They're all wrong. I can't give you an exact date, but I can easily tell you what year the world is going to end.
The world is going to end in 2022.
Why 2022? It's not Peak Oil, global warming, or terrorism that I'm concerned about. No - 2022 is the year that kids who are 7 years old right now will be turning 21. That means that 2022 will be the year that today's 7-year-olds will be legally allowed to drink alcohol, which means that 2022 will be the year that bars become overrun with people who have fond childhood memories of seeing Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
Will they remember Terminator 2? What about Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure or Back To The Future? What will they say of these movies? "Oh," they'll say, "Aren't those, like, old movies? I don't like old movies." Then they'll ask the bartender for some crazy futuristic drink that I've never heard of, and then they'll turn back to their friends to wax nostalgic about that movie they saw when they were 7 years old with all the rapping CG chihuahuas, and I'll return to Gladstone's birthday party (89 years young!) and stew in the corner, nursing my whiskey and muttering to nobody in particular about how the world has gone to hell in a handbasket.
But then God will be like, "What the fuck?!" and smite everyone, because CG chihuahuas?! COME ON. He must have said SOMETHING about that in the Bible, right?
my friend said it was a funny and great movie i saw around 15 minutes of it and was screaming while looking for the remote part of me will never be the same again
ReplyYou sertanly know tons about this.
ReplyI agree. O how i sadly agree.
ReplyWalt is f@cking pissed-off!
ReplyAnd thus we're all doomed.
Reply"Thou shalt not worship CG dogs the size of rodents."
ReplyThey actually scraped that so they could keep a nice round number.
When G-Stone's 89th birthday comes, you should get Joe Cotten to provide music at the party. 'Cause he's awesome like that. If it happens to be an end-of-the-world party as well, no problem. He does those even better.
ReplyHow'd they get the dogs to stop shaking long enough to film them?
ReplyI'm still flabbergasted that nobody else misread the "rapping CG chihuahuas" line and called Swaim in.
ReplyThat comes out on my birthday.
ReplyFirst year I can legally drink, but will still be the most depressing birthday ever.
Anyone who enjoys this trailer is more disgusting than Josef Fritzl.
Replyim sorry if that came out wrong
Replyim pretty sure chihuahuas originated in china also that trailer made me hate my own chihuahua who looks less real than the cg ones
Replyexcept for the rapping and dancing oh my god what the fuck where disney thinking they have totally run out of ideas
Kill me. Now. Please.
ReplyIncidentally, and contrary to the trailer's claims, chihahuas weren't dogs of war. They were, however, sacrificed to appease Aztec gods.
I feel like it's time comment on the blog some more.
Reply1. That trailer was every bit as obnoxious as the one for Happy Feet, just more bizarre.
2. Thank God my kids are older now and I'm no longer required by law to take them every single f***ing CGI movie that comes out.
3. Forget George Lopez... if Carlos Santanna winds up being on the soundtrack, I will weep.
Well sir lbh I shant discontinue with my non queens english, for some times I happen to fancy speaking like an illiterate feline.
ReplyZOMG PWNT U FOOLZ!! NOM NOM NOM. IZ A EFFING KITTEH!
Litter was nine, one died. I have a flat coat retriever, a husky, a silky Terrier( looks like a big yorkie), a small poodle and eight puppy silky poos. they are nothing like rat dogs, little yippy dogs maybe, but not rat dogs.
ReplyI also have one retarded cat with no tail. Holy shit I'm missing fucking Matlock!!!!
@Glendoor, How big was the litter ? I thought at last count you had 12 dogs? What the hell is a silky poo anyway? That sounds dangerously close to a rat...er LAPdog breed.
Reply@Metalbrainsurgery..."ownt" ? Knock it off with your newfangled hipster lingo! Learn to speak American damnit. I have to go watch Matlock now.
Speaking of dogs if anybody wants to buy geniune full crossbreed silky poos let me know.
Reply350.00 shots included. Six females and two males.
except for gladstone, thats his future father in law your talking about there.
Reply