In a Bonus Minigame, Astaroth Pilots a B-Wing
I love the Soul Caliber games. No other fighting game has such a perfect mix of "if I press all the buttons in an aggressive enough manner, I stand a good chance of winning" and "if I master this combo, I will become a lithe, fluid incarnation of Death itself."
So honestly, I'll be buying Soul Caliber IV no matter what bizarre crossover characters they put in it. I'd happily play as a barrel-hurling Donkey Kong, Soccer ball-kicking Pele, or Mace-wielding Mike Huckabee.
But, that doesnt mean I can let something like the insertion of Star Wars characters into the franchise go by unmentioned. Spawn and Link were bad enough, but putting Darth Vader and Yoda into the game as playable characters is like leaving the Lucasarts truck they used to deliver the giant mountain of cash parked in front of your house. We know it exists, but do you have to rub it in our faces?
To those who think this isnt such a bad idea, I present an exhaustive list of Darth Vaders Soul Caliber IV control scheme and moves list:
Control: Press XMove: Force ChokeDescription: Darth chokes opponent to death with his mind.
The end. Youre done. Shut the fuck up Killik; your fucking stick cant outreach the FORCE.
And yes, they could strategically remove Yoda/Vaders powers to make them mesh with the Soul Caliber universe, but thats going to be equally annoying. I mean, do you really want to play a fighting game where your lightsaber hums cleanly through the rapidly ionizing atmosphere, only to be parried by Maxis nunchucks?
No; youre going to whine and moan about how it isnt true to the spirit of the character. Well, you are if youre an insufferable nerd, which unfortunately describes myself and most of my close friends to a T.
So if youre reading this Namco Bandai, may I suggest a sensible alternative to the Dark One and his Green Counterpart: PacMan. Hes a classic gaming icon, sure to come bundled with some sweet crossover ad revenue, and is perfectly balanced against the other Soul Caliber characters.
His ability to hover and move in any direction make him defensively strong, while his lack of any attack other than ramming his head against things makes him far from too powerful. Pit him against Ivy, give him some power pills, and lets leave the crazy franchise mashups to Super Smash Bros.
LOL......but Vader and the Star Wars crew are still cheap characters.
ReplyVader's AB throw lands the opponent behind him......or outside the ring if he's on edge.
Yoda's too damn small.
And the Apprentice is overpowered with lightning combos.
This is where google brought me, I guess they are reliable
ReplyAre you in debt? Is your credit card over its limit? visit my site
ReplyNerd my ass, haven't you played Kotor? swords and light sabers hit each other no problem.
Replyyeah... I made a custom Harry Potter character on 3... then gave him Rafael's cane weapon... it fit so good it was scary... he even had some of the spells! ZOMG!
ReplyI really wanted to play as link in Soul Calibur for the Cube. Too bad I never had a cube.
ReplyAlso, I wanna see Indiana Jones vs Captain Kirk in the next game. or Luke Skywalker vs. Harry Potter.
Online Payday Loan...
Reply...
gps buying guide...
ReplyOne of the biggest advancements in technology is not only blue tooth, but also the addition of blue tooth gps to the blue tooth system....
It's kind of fitting that there is overlap between Soul Caliber and Star Wars, as both are proponents of the following equation:
Reply[(Something good) + (3 years) + (Gay)] X (re-release) = Money for fat nerds
Sigfried was raw on Dreamcast. I loved my Dreamcast so much...sniff.
ReplyWell, so far Soul Caliber I for Dreamcast is the best of the bunch. We'll see if #4 is up to beating it. (Oh, can't wait for the criticism for that statement....)
ReplyPS: Talim is the greatest character in any fighting game ever in the history of the world.
ReplySwaim knows what's up.
I'd like to suggest the inclusion of Qbert as well.
ReplyDude. Like everything more than 2 hits in Soul Calibur, that's blockable in the middle.
ReplyYour friends suck, s'all I'm sayin'.
N
YOU, sir, are not playing Soul Caliber correctly. Talim...square square triangle triangle...FOR LIFE.
ReplyErr, Soul Calibur doesn't have combos. What the hell?
ReplyN
I don't know, I guess that the Star Wars franchise couldn't be cheapened anymore or sell out any harder than it did with episodes 1,11 or 111.
ReplyPersonally, I kind of lost a lot of respect for it it when Darth Vader was thwarted by the Energizer"goddamn"Bunny. A video game kind of seems a step up from there.
But nothing and I mean nothing will ever dampen my enthusiasm for the the fact that I finally got my lightsaber.
That one comment made this post worthwhile.
ReplyA "Cracked" Interview with Astaroth
ReplyRecently we sat down with famed Soul CailBUR personality Astaroth. He was polite enough to let us into his Burbank, CA home, although he did shatter and scatter a number of our film crew before he calmed down enough for this interview.
Cracked: So A-man, what’s up? How do you feel about the insertion of Star Wars characters in the next Soul Calibur game?
Astaroth: DISGUSTING.
Cracked: I see. So how do you think the public will react when the game is released?
Astaroth: SQUIRM.
Cracked: Ah yes, you feel that the gamers will squirm in their seats when they discover this addition. Do you think that there will be a backlash to this type of crossover?
Astaroth: EXTERMINATE!
Cracked: Wait, you’re saying the backlash will be so severe that the public will demand the extermination of any future SC games, and that the franchise will come to an unceremonious, pathetic end?
Astaroth: SHUT UP!
Cracked: *Astaroth has grabbed his axe and has stood up menacingly. The crew and I begin to back out of his house* Well, thank you for your time, we wish you the best in all your future…
Astaroth: DON’T SCREAM, WORMS!
*Dedicated to the memory of the lives of the brave Cracked interview team. We miss you guys.*