If Tobacco Ads Were REALLY Honest
Almost a year ago, I released the first issue of Tits For Men. Despite critical praise and an aggressive, almost sexual radness, there have been a lot of budget complications getting the second issue to press. So I did what The Wave Magazine did to me: refuse to pay the writers. But unlike The Wave, I forgot to wait until after my writers wrote everything. So this issue, there's a slight increase in ads and a little bit less editorial content. Still, please do your best to enjoy Tits For Men, Issue 2.
f**k you Sean that girl is not 11. At least not to me. e_e
ReplyI wanted to buy another pack of cigarettes until I read this.
Reply"Check out the effects for smoking on THIS LUNG!"
"Ha! It sounds like an anchovy gasping for air on dry pizza!"
Hey, don't worry, you'll want to buy another pack in five minutes time.
"hey, Surgeon General. Nice f*****g kid. Could you not afford braces for it?"
ReplyThat comment alone will not let me stop laughing.
Mmm mustard an' crackas
ReplyI want to be cool like the people in these ads.
Replyare you my dad? was my favorite part
ReplyMakes me think of the numerous pictures of Sean smoking cigarettes. I smoke a pack a day, and I find this hilarious.
ReplyIf I smoke Newports, will I too think that mustard goes on crackers? That might be kind of awesome.
ReplyIf packs of cigarettes were that honest, or even more brutally honest than that (if possible), I'd end up buying more than I already do. It cracks me up!
Replyhilarious!!
ReplyThere aren't enough words in the English language to describe how funny this article is, and I'm not even a smoker.
ReplyHilarious as always but this right here:
ReplyYour mom put up more of a fight when we argued over the cost of a b*****b. But she was right to charge more than your dad. He was like a toothy drain clog.
There are no words to express how funny I found this.
Whenever I see an ad for Snus, I automatically think of that Futurama episode with the giant Amazons and their "death by snu-snu" punishment.
Replyhahahahaha same here!!
I love smoking cigarettes. This was still funny.
Replyha. i enjoyed it.
Replydid not want that to end. (sigh)
Reply"...screamed that she was a race car"
Replyrofl
does the second ad scream "airwolf", or is it just me?
ReplyWow am I glad that advertising tobacco was outlawed here along with handguns!
ReplySnus is the single safest form of tobacco in existence. Apparently the Swedish government has been studying it for a long time and it poses no serious health risks.
Reply Hide All See All 7 Repliesya know besides the fact that you're putting tobbaco directly into your mouth.
Well, it has far lower health risks than any type of pyrolytic tobacco product because you're not breathing the carcinogens into your lungs, but it's still unsafe. It'll still massively increase your chances of developing oral cancer (as will drinking alcohol). But if you're addicted and it's that or smoking then go for snus.
So what, do you have pyrolytic readily available in your word bank, or did you half-quote some internet page you just read to look smarter?
Fatcorgi, some people are literate.
Technically, your jaw rotting off isn't really a serious health risk. The more you know.
Literate is one thing, but 'pyrolytic' instead of 'smoking' is f**king pretentious. You walk past people smoking outside your building and go 'god damn pyrolytic practitioners clogging up the entrance hall' ? Do you f**k.
Oh look, butthurt people complaining about how illiterate they are. Shall I alert the WAAAAAHmbulance?