Left Behind: Eternal Forces
As we’ve learned this week on the Cracked Blog, video games generally don’t make very good movies. Nor do most TV shows, cartoons or - God help us all - board games, but here’s one we clearly missed: Can apocalyptic Christian literature be turned into a sweet video game?
My gut instinct tells me “no.” As far as I know, the coolest Christian-approved video game to date was Bible Adventures, and you know what? It really wasn’t all that great. If you’re not Christian, Christian entertainment generally doesn’t have much allure. There are exceptions to this rule, of course: The Passion of The Christ, Christian rock music and videos of Christians talking about bananas can all be enjoyed ironically, but can we really expect them to make a decent video game? That might be asking too much.
Then I watch this trailer and think to myself, “Wow - that actually looks pretty fucking sweet.” Apocalypse lends itself well to the video game medium, and this could actually be a pretty fun game if it was done well. You know when you get bored playing Grand Theft Auto and just start murdering everyone and blowing shit up to see how long you can survive? Well that’s pretty much what the apocalypse would be like, isn’t it? GTA isn’t very Christian, but it could be with a few tweaks. Throw some scripture into the loading screens, add a little more blood, and BAM - you’ve got yourself a certified Christian video game! Based on the trailer, it kind of seems like that’s what this game is like, and you know what? That would be kind of awesome and I would totally play it.
Oh, wait. According to the game’s website:
Contrary to misinformation on the web, this game does not include references to any other religion. Also, there is NO killing in the name of God, and NO convert or die missions. All content has been reviewed and approved by Tyndale House Publishers prior to publication. Conduct warfare using the power of PRAYER and WORSHIP as more powerful weapons than guns.
Nevermind.
This entry was posted on Friday, March 7th, 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Christians, Nooners, Video, Video Games. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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August 18th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Pffffahahahaha, yeah, because prayer has done so much in the past.
March 5th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Hi, I can
April 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
heard a nasty rumor that the US military is trying to evanglize its military using that Left behind eternal forces, two websites talked about the evangelization of the US military, religion and military make strange bedfellows (and my personal feelings is im not a fan of christianity OR islam, they are both troublemakers, even some liberal monotheists are a little……strange, in a bad way)
March 12th, 2008 at 6:05 am
I want to see a Scientology game in a similar vein… perhaps a first person shooter playing as Tom Cruise, nailing the few unfaithful in Hollywood and taking down Thetons, or a Theme-Park type game where you have to build as many churches of scientology as possible, the objective is to fill your pockets as quick as you can while luring the gullible into your churches with various convoluted nonsense endorsed by Sci-Fi authors…perhaps this could have a bonus stage where you got to spend your hard won dumb-ass-cash on shiny sportscars and hos as quickly as possible?
March 11th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Yes, when I read the book series, I supported the anti-christ all the way up until book 8 or so. Even if I had an omniscient viewpoint, he was still a great leader until book 8 (His whole unity and peace thing for the world, I think, outdid any destruction he did before that book)
It was only with the mass executions that he wasn’t so nice a guy anymore. But yea, for the vast majority of the series, antichrist = good guy.
March 10th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
“Their choice is to either join the AntiChrist – which is an imposturous one world government seeking peace for all of mankind, or they may join the Tribulation Force – which seeks to expose the truth and defend themselves against the forces of the AntiChrist.”
Anyone else think that theres something wrong with the above quote from the FAQ?
All the AntiChrist’s want to do is live peaceful lives but the Christians have to go and mess that up for everyone….sound familiar?
March 10th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I want to play the level where you get to play as fred phelps and verbally assault the new age thinkers.
March 10th, 2008 at 9:19 am
‘Those who make you believe absurdities, can make you commit attrocities….’
So it’s really not their fault…..
J
March 9th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
http://www.adultswim.com/games/biblefight/
To put it bluntly: yes.
March 9th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Maybe the rapture has already happened and God has already taken the good christian programmers with him. Maybe thats why christian games suck so, so bad. Don’t you know that all the good musicians and programmers are aligned with the devil.
Hail Satan!
March 9th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
My concern is that perhaps this is not Christian after all, since the Revelation to St. John explicitly says that anyone who adds to the words of the prophecy shall have all the sufferings and torments of the prophecy added to them personally. Therefore doesn’t it seem better to leave this alone and await what will be? The interpretation contained within this game may constitute an expansion.
Besides, every game eventually gets old and seems exhausted. Do we as Christians want the prophecy of what is to come to SEEM old and exhausted of meaning? It is NOT a game, it is a reality we anticipate. And could this game not lead to a kind of gloating over the destruction of those left behind, i.e. those who are dead to God? All faithful people are exhorted not to gloat over the deaths of their enemies, but to give thanks to the Most High for their salvation.
I am not steadfastly against this game but I think it is dangerous. Yet, when compared with the decidedly evil influence of most games, I think it must be viewed positively. So, with this bifurcated potential, I will await its fruits in order to discern its true worth. May Christ give it worth and illuminate those who play it.
March 9th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Contrary to misinformation on the web, this game does not include references to any other religion. Also, there is NO killing in the name of God, and NO convert or die missions. All content has been reviewed and approved by Tyndale House Publishers prior to publication.
Compared to this…
“Are guns used by Christians against non-Christians? Why or why not?
The storyline in the game begins just after the Rapture has occurred – when all adult Christians, all infants, and many children were instantly swept home to Heaven and off the Earth by God. The remaining population – those who were left behind – are then poised to make a decision at some point. They cannot remain neutral. Their choice is to either join the AntiChrist – which is an imposturous one world government seeking peace for all of mankind, or they may join the Tribulation Force – which seeks to expose the truth and defend themselves against the forces of the AntiChrist.”
From the FAQ at http://www.eternalforces.com/faq.aspx
May not be “convert or die” but it sure comes pretty damn close. (Not that I really have a big problem with that, just don’t bullsh*t on it).
March 9th, 2008 at 7:58 am
ohyes, can they also cook and clean? someone’s got to do that while we’re “kicking arse for tha lord!”
March 9th, 2008 at 7:26 am
In response to above, hell yeah you can play on the anti-christ’s side - in multiplayer mode! I am not joking. Also, no one has mentioned the two funniest, saddest facts about this game. One, half the forces of the anti-christ have arab sounding names. Two, you can recruit women to the army of God, but they can’t be soldiers. Or builders. They can be nurses though!
March 9th, 2008 at 6:26 am
I am just waiting for the Mormon version of this game, It will be like that good old game Paperboy, except now you will ride with a partner and throw the book of Mormon on everyones doorstep.
March 8th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
It is a problem for us, christians: christian games are unmakeable. And if you do make one, you’ll get hit over the head for killing otherreligionguys. It’s like atheists are cool to kill everyone they want. Also, you can’t depict muslims killing someone, because there will be someone bound to kill you for that (notice how people in Assassin’s Creed aren’t very buisy fighting the holy war against Crusaders?). Religious games are a bog, and closest success is Painkiller.
March 8th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
They stole the thunder sound from Counterstrike.
Same as in de_aztec.
March 8th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Is there any way you can play on the Anti-Christ’s side? It seems like that would be fun, what with all the murdering and soul taking you’d get to do.
And since this game is suppose to take place after the Rapture, you’d think that they’d get the message of “God doesn’t love you, or he would have taken you by now”.
March 8th, 2008 at 9:12 am
If “this game does not include references to any other religion” or has “NO killing in the name of God, and NO convert or die missions,” it is not a Christian game.
March 8th, 2008 at 5:42 am
If you want to develop an exciting Xian videogame, talk to the Air Force. They’re a bunch of fundies anymore anyway.
March 7th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Do you think the health gauge (Hit points? I don’t do shooters. I am more RPG, so I have NO CLUE.) goes up by eating manna from Heaven (special tasteless wafers) or by bombing plan parenthood clinics? I think there should be a special level where you must destroy evidence that certain evangelical/republican leaders are gay. Perhaps murdering undercover cops, male escorts, and pages will give you extra points.
March 7th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
That last bit about “Conduct warfare using the power of PRAYER and WORSHIP as more powerful weapons than guns” kinda reminds me of the Simpsons patch for Doom, where the imps were changed to Ned Flanders, and he threw Bibles at you.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I’m not very religous, but I do like blowing things up. Is there a game out there for people like me?
March 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Yes, oh those zany white-bred Christians of various Protestant-orientated faiths. Yeah, screw Catholics, especially those Mexicans and Irish, what with their deeply religious beliefs and holy idols and dieties on every street and covering every square inch of their houses.
They’re sinners by the way. Sinners all of them. How dare they not go to our church and dress in fancy clothes.
Tits.
March 7th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Thanks Kingmonkey+1. I now have a better picture of the game. Seeing all those brown, sweater-vest wearing fools makes me think of psycho-conformism… (new word as of now) I think that is a ripoff of the Simpsons. Remember that Halloween episode where Ned rules all? Scarey… Christian video games frighten me.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I notice, from a review on Gamespot.com, that rock stars (specifically guitarists) are agents of the anti-Christ. It’s nice to see a fresh spin on Christian values, yeah?
The game gets an overall 3.6/10.
Also, when male enemy units are saved, they instantly change into brown sweater vests and ties.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
From the Eternal Forces website:
“Conduct warfare using the power of PRAYER and WORSHIP as more powerful weapons than guns.”
“Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Worship Leaders to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks!”
I think their tanks fire giant exploding bibles.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Pfft, Jedoc, that happens to me too.
Also, what the fuck Burma? Stop telling me I’m an interfering foreign devil, I’m just trying to connect to my buddy Saruang.
Soo, on the subject of that Left Behind game, you walk around a city trying to save souls?
Hmm, I’ve always wondered what life would be like as one of those priests who stands on street corners telling everyone shopping that they’re going to hell.
March 7th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
“nah, you only winged him. He’s a Unitarian now.”
March 7th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Hey, you know who else thought that spirituality was a good substitute for guns? Tibet. I’d ask them how it’s going, but for some goddamn reason that area code keeps connecting me to some Chinese guys.