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If McCain’s Concession Speech Was As Bitter As His Campaign

Ever notice how the moment one candidate beats the other, they’re suddenly best friends? What happened to two weeks ago, when you were calling each other delusional, psychotic geezers who palled around with terrorists? It’s either rampant hypocrisy, or else all those attack ads were nothing but cheap political maneuvers (gasp!).

In order to protect the innocence of the American public, I’ve taken it upon myself to make McCain’s concession speech as vitriolic and hate-filled as the months leading up to it were. Do us both a favor, and watch this video over and over until it has supplanted all memories of the actual speech.


When not writing for Cracked, Michael finally reveals his bias as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!

Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 6th, 2008 at 8:00 am and is filed under John McCain, Politics, President Barack Obama, The 2008 Presidential Campaign, Video. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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31 Responses to “If McCain’s Concession Speech Was As Bitter As His Campaign”

  1. Dinlek Says:

    Oh man, hilarious. I think this is a rather fair assessment of his supporter’s thoughts, though…

    …man, America is so boned. The people responsible for electing our representatives seem to have the collective intelligence of a six year. Case in point: Booing at the mere mention of Senator (Now President) Barrack Obama.

    Honestly, rather embarrassing. If he’d spoken your speech, the crowd probably would have been cheering.

  2. Richard Nixon Says:

    Richard Nixon Approves!

  3. Andrew Says:

    Obama is like the black Jesus…oh…wait…

  4. Lindy Says:

    Michael Swaim, you just made my night.

  5. gocat Says:

    Obama is my Savior!

  6. Michael David Says:

    This is an example of the morons that support Obama:

    # MJ -89 Says:

    As a side note McCain’s voice really irritates me. Obama’s voice is so much better. He actually sounds like a president should and after George W that is so very refreshing.

    HAHAHA!!! I love that! What a tool! “Oh gee, Obama’s voice is so much cooler than McCain’s… that’s why I wanted him to be President. I vote for a man because of his voice… I figure if he’s got a nice voice, he’ll do well up there in that Washington place.. you know… where the President lives… The White Horse.”

    “On a side note…” (grin) I’m collecting all these “Obama is my savior” notes on the Internet, and when things are worse in this country than when Carter was in office, I’ll be putting them up on my blog. Similar to the way the Left has spewed hatred during Bush’s Presidency… cause, you know… his voice is so grating. LOL!

  7. Matt Says:

    Hilarious!

  8. Logicalgirl Says:

    As I watched Mccain’s concession speach, that is exactly what I heard come out of his mouth. Or else, it was perfectly clear that he’s an obsessive compulsive liar… hmmm.

  9. MercilessFish Says:

    But it IS an honor to call Barack Obama an African American. At least that’s what my German history teacher told me.

    My German history teacher is a Nazi.

  10. momatoes Says:

    too bad for the title, but the editing is amazing! :-O

  11. Pliny Says:

    well edited sir. *thumbs up*

  12. thatcat4 Says:

    that was so good!

  13. Avidan The Sane Says:

    excellent

  14. Mal Says:

    Excellent editing

  15. R Says:

    it’s not were since speech isn’t plural

  16. What Ever Says:

    If it WERE as bitter, not “was”.

  17. kingmonkey Says:

    No, no, glendoor, I said I’m the kid of the monkey to which I had referred in sentence number 1. Besides, spelling and grammar are two different things, And typos are a totally different thung altigether.

    MJ-89, in re your concern over my beliefe that I’m a monkey– I have no witty comeback. Schizophrenia is a serious illness. Besides, it could be worse… at least I don’t go to anime conventions.

  18. MJ -89 Says:

    I say we find out who exactly made the errors in the title and beat them down. It’s not the ‘was’ the gets me (as irritating as it is) but the capital letters on ‘as’ that really irks me.

    @ Glendoor.
    I’d say that too but I never usually admit to it. I’m a terrible, terrible speller so I like to pretend that grammar is a millions times more important. It concerns me that Kingmonkey genuinely believes he’s a monkey, though…

  19. glendoor42 Says:

    Pretty damn good Swaim,……. to bad about your hairline though.

    You’ll get use to it.

    kingmonkey , if I were that “kid “of a monkey I would say it’s bad form to misspell words when correcting someone grammar.

  20. Michael Swaim Says:

    Kingmonkey, I’m pretty sure I’ve only done this once before (also about a title…people got really pissed that Mark Hamill was included in a list of Star Wars actors whose careers fizzled), but I’m blaming Cracked. They picked the title. I had “were.” I wouldn’t throw my teammates under the bus like that, but grammar is my only point of pride. And I mean ONLY.

    Note I didn’t say spelling. I know I make at least one typo per post, and believe me, it’s immensely irritating to me. Sometimes I just glare at my fingers.

  21. MJ -89 Says:

    I think I almost fell off my chair at the part about Obama’s grandmother.

    Very nice editing. For the most part it didn’t sound chopped together at all.

    As a side note McCain’s voice really irritates me. Obama’s voice is so much better. He actually sounds like a president should and after George W that is so very refreshing.

  22. LexTaliones Says:

    His concession speech didn’t need to be bitter, he was saving it all up to throw Sarah Palin under the bus. His people are all but blaming her for their loss, and ripping her to shreds now that they don’t need her anymore. Kinda makes me glad he didn’t get in office.

  23. megan Says:

    evil but you know it was what he was truly thinking in his head

  24. everythingisayisalieinfacti'mlyingrightnow Says:

    The sarah palin part and McCain blaming his family were the best

  25. kingmonkey Says:

    By the way, Swaim, if I were the kind of monkey to point out other’s grammatical errors (and I am) I’d mention that the title should be If McCain’s Concession Speech Were as Bitter as His Campaign. And since I am that kid of monkey (see sentence 1), I’d like to mention that the title should be If McCain’s Concession Speech Were as Bitter as His Campaign.

  26. eh? Says:

    Brilliantly made, sir. I second Fragg’s suggestion.

  27. kingmonkey Says:

    Whoah, there was a US election? When did that happen? There was, like, no press coverage of any kind; how was I supposed to know?

    I wasn’t able to cast my ballot under my American identity of Ike Rockenhower.

  28. Alan Says:

    That was awesome.

  29. Clara Says:

    You’re an angry, angry man Swaim. Bloody amazing editor though. That was art.

    I appreciated his sentiments. He was candid and a good loser. Was disappointed by the crowd though.

    And now he can fade into obscurity, hopefully dragging Palin with him.

    Congrats for the hilarity.

  30. Fragg Says:

    Why don’t you just submit this to a conspiracy site and say it is the REAL footage the government DOESN’T WANT YOU TO SEE!

  31. Bredman Says:

    Hi-larious

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