If Aquaman Comics Knew How Much Aquaman Sucks
Every time Superman pushes a meteor out of a collision course to Earth, Aquaman is somewhere else, pushing a fish to go too far on a first date. And he's the only superhero with the ability to speak to fish, so it can't even talk to anyone about it. Fish scream when you fart in the water, and only Aquaman can hear them. It's like music to him. I just remembered something: Aquaman sucks. These are his adventures.
That's one big ass seagull...
ReplySeanbaby, I have this feeling that Aquaman is not your favorite superhero.
ReplyDammit, Seanbaby. Why do you persist on making me laugh inappropriately at work?! Coughing only hides about the first 134 chuckles!
ReplyI don't get the vehement hatred of Aquaman. He's water-based; so what? Batman is land-based. Curry has super-strengt6h on land, can control not just fish but humans too, can swim faster than any boat, and has a wider range of vision than humans. He's not Superman, but neither is he someone TRULY worthless like Gambit.
ReplyThe 70's SuperFriends cartoon has the most blame for damaging Aquaman. In everything else he's been in he's incredibly strong, a capable fighter and he actually summons creatures that are far more useful to take on opponents. And sacrificing his hand to save his son is something even Batman wishes he could do.
What's wrong, so butt-hurt by Aquaman being the punching bag of jokes that you have to drag Gambit into this? For shame.
hong chong bong translates to "dont let that clumsy b***h hold it."
Replythen he called that chinese a hong bong. (aka a clumsy b***h)
f**king priceless lol
Say what you want about his powers and his legacy, but Aquaman is a sexy stud and I would love to tame his eel if you know what i mean.
ReplyI have no idea what you mean. Please explain this unusual eel to us in detailed and descriptive sentences.
Also describe to us the taming process in greater detail.
KIDS NEVER SELL ENOUGH SEEDS TO WIN GUNS, SO WE HAVE THEM ALL. YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
ReplyEven with the deadly force that near surface dwelling aquatic lifeforms exhibit, Aquaman has proven himself time and time again to be as useless as a Nun's tits!
ReplyI lost everything to seeds. Everything.....
ReplyYou guys owe me a keyboard, twin jets of coffee shot out of my beak when I read that. I remember those crap ads in comic books. Only one of which was an Aquaman.
Seanbaby, you are seriously twisted. Each according to our gifts
Where the f**k was Waterman during that big oil spill? The ONE time he could've been halfway useful...Verily, he is the epitome of suck.
ReplyThat literally made me cry from laughter
ReplyAh! He got hit with the piss rocket! In the FACE! XD
ReplyAquaman was cool in that Justice League show. I havn't seem much about him in anything else though...
Reply"take that thing somewhere else!"
Reply"which one? my wife, or the baby? because neither one listens to me."
lmao
hahahahaha "barbed dildos"
ReplyThe Aquafather comic had me crying!
Reply"What's that? You won't mind if I strip my shirt off and take a couple of pictures?"
ReplyBrilliant
one of Seanbaby's articles was the first thing i read on cracked, he has been my favorite writer since then, and with things like this, i don't think it will ever change.
ReplyBy "chai moresto" I nearly pissed my pants.
ReplyI never thought Cracked could be taken to another level, but damnit Seanbaby, you have.
The thing about the ocean is that there is a lot of it, and from what we've seen of the murky depths, it holds strange creatures that were never meant to see the light of day.
Reply