I For One Welcome Our New Robotic Dog Overlords: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Robotic Dogs Are Coming To Kill You
Remember when everyone was freaking out about killer bees? Back in the 90s they were the imminent threat du jour, pressing northward in a buzzing swarm of honey, stingers and death. We were completely terrified knowing that these insanely aggressive bees were coming to destroy us all...
And then nothing happened. The killer bees never really showed up (other than in a few parts of the southwest), America turned its attention to other, more pressing matters (like, oh, I don't know... TERRORISM?), and the vast majority of our great nation avoided the stinging wrath that was supposed to have been the killer bees.
That being said, allow me to introduce you to our latest national crisis. Fuck a bunch of bees1 - we've got robot dogs2 to worry about.
Why would the scientific community do this to us? Don't we already have enough to worry about in the world without robot dogs running around our forests, adding knowledge to their AI databases until they're ready to come kill us all with ruthless efficiency? What possible reason did scientists have to create such a thing? I can only come up with a few possibilities:
All perfectly valid, but none of them really do anything for me. The only benefit I get from this development is that I now get to live with the knowledge that there's a robot dog out there somewhere; one that can almost certainly outrun me on pretty much any type of terrain. Thanks, scientists.
1 Warning: Do NOT actually attempt to fuck a bunch of bees.
2 I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there's a "Robot Dog" wikipedia entry.
I love betting on Football. The unfortunate part is that I've lost about $ five this month. I think the most enjoyable part is doing the research and using research to find holes in the odds.
Replyplan to defeat robo dog invasion:
Reply1. push dog over with foot from broad side
2. light a ciggarete, watch it squirm
3. go home
am i the only one that laughed at it O.o?
ReplyThat is the most fucking terrifying thing I have ever seen. Seriously, someone needs to destroy that thing, or I will never sleep again.
ReplyWow.... I might NEVER sleep Again... What a freaking NIGHTMARE! I'm not sure; but I think someone slipped a little nasty somethin' into my drink.. or was it the brownies? *shudder*
ReplyDarpa is a pretty cool guy. Eh sows the seeds of our inevitable doom and doesn't afraid of anything.
ReplyI feel sorry for the man it will have to marry one day.
ReplyWhy is that dude kicking it? Hopefully that thing is intelligent enough to come after only him when it inevitably goes on its vengeful rampage, but more likely it will simply say, "all the bipeds look alike to me", and eventually snuff out the whole human race. Good job, kicky guy!
ReplyTerrifying canine robot killing machines are what's wrong with America.
ReplyWho knew that Salvador Dali was into Robotics?
ReplyThat
is
Disturbing.
Or Scotch Ross.
ReplyThe Terminator situation is very plausible. At the rate computers are evolving, it will not be long before they sit up and tell us no.
Reply@ Ross if you don't wnat to be Cmdr. Ross why don't you be Scottish Ross?
Come on, Ross, do not resign your commission! Our country needs your leadership!
ReplyThat's the KGB for ya; always trying to slander American technological marvels. Marvels, I tell you. Why this robot is clearly the next wave in... whatever category it resides in. Next you're going to point out that this so-called labour saving device still requires a human operator, and probably a robo-mechanic guy of some kind and more or less negate the benefit of having a silly walking robot in the first place.
ReplyOk, a couple things come to mind:
ReplyFirst, why are we spending so much money on something that seems to be just as succeptible to things like, oh I don't know, ICE ON THE GROUND as we are? Shouldn't we be trying to make superdogs or something? I realize it can self stabilize, which is cool, but come on. Why not something that doesn't slide around like a goon while trying to regain its balance?
Second, is it remote controlled?
As if it wasn't frightening enough that the military had unmanned flying death dispensers (Predator UAV), remote-controlled machine guns on tank treads (SWORDS), and the ability to explode small dogs and reheat leftovers from a distance (I'm assuming that's what the Active Denial microwave ray will do eventually), they had to come up with this? Fuck all the other futuristic apocalypse movie predictions; Terminator's really starting to look plausible, and to make an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie seem like it could actually happen is to spit directly in the face of God.
ReplyThat being said, if they're going to start making smaller versions of these with arms that can pick up and carry things, I'm all about getting one because laziness trumps fear nine times out of ten.
I'm going to stop calling myself Commander because it's become apparent I have no military experience.
ReplyAlso, yes on second thoughts that does seem impressive, maybe the whole 'walking' technology is more handy in war situations than tank-treads, once thought to be invincible on all-terrain, barring soft desert sand.
Then again, I wouldn't know, having had no real military experience.
*cough*
I didn't realize it was on ice until I watched the video again on another website.( THAT HAD A BIGGER FUCKNG VIDEO BTW ) That is pretty impressive. I would still like to see how it handles the desert though.
ReplyThe point of showing the thing stumbling is to show that it has the ability to stumble rather than fall. It has more ability to maintain its balance in difficult situations than a lot of living things do. That is some impressive stuff right there.
ReplyWhat was the point in kicking it, and then showing the replays of the kick and slow motion side-stumble? Also why the ice-stumble in slow-motion?
ReplyAlso, when it slips on the ice and stumbles through the snow I'm starting to think maybe it's modelled more on two guys carrying a burlap sack than a dog.