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Letís play a game. Weíll call it: How Hot Is THAT? Iíll give you some factual information and you tell me how hot it is. (Iíll play along too):

1. Penelope Cruz is going to be in a new music video.

Well, Iíve never been that big a fan, and thinking about Tom Cruise making out with her ---or thinking about Cruz hanging around waiting for Tom Cruise to make out with her--- is kind of a buzzkill. Still, Penelope Cruz, yíknow? So Iím giving that a 7 out of 10 on the prurient interests hotness scale.

2. Penelope Cruz is playing one of two translators asked to translate a Spanish Lesbian porn film.

Wow. Bet you didnít see that coming. O.K. Now weíre talking a serious 8.

3. At one point during the video, Penelope Cruz starts making out with the other female Spanish translator.

Gooooaaaaaaaal!!!!!!!!!!!! Thatís got to be a solid 9.

4. The other translator is played by Penelopeís real life sister.

Uuuuhhhh, hmmmmÖ.. Yeah, Iím going to abstain from voting. After all, I just did a barely illegal Hannah Montana post this week. But hey, you feel free to place your votes in the comments below.

UPDATE! THANKS TO THE COMMENTS BELOW AND YOUTUBE: ___ Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.

 

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